Questions to ask a prospective Christian marriage counselor
You’ve been thinking about going to marriage counseling. But you don’t want to go to the church or your pastor.
Because your Christian faith is very important to you, you would rather meet with a Christian counselor in Houston or a Christian marriage therapist in Houston who is also a licensed therapist.
Here are some questions you should ask a prospective Christian marriage counselor to let you know if they are the best marriage therapist in Houston for you.
Do you include faith and scripture in your marriage counseling sessions?
There's a difference between a marriage counselor who is a Christian and a Christian marriage counselor. Some marriage counselors are Christians, however they do not actually integrate Christian faith or scripture into their counseling work.
Christian marriage counselors in Houston on the other hand, feel much more comfortable speaking about Jesus in session, pointing you towards scripture, as well as exploring your Christian faith while integrating that into the marriage counseling process.
It is important to ask prospective marriage counselors whether or not they feel comfortable integrating your Christian faith into the therapy.
What are your faith belief systems/doctrinal beliefs?
The term ‘Christian’ is very broad. Some people are very conservative, while others are pretty liberal. There are so many different Christian denominations and doctrines out there. It is important that you find a Christian marriage therapist whose Christian beliefs are probably similar to yours.
Ensure that both you and the Christian marriage counselor in Houston share similar beliefs, so that they do not point you in the wrong direction or in a direction that you do not feel comfortable going into.
How often will we meet for marriage counseling sessions?
It is important to know what to expect so that you can put it on your schedule. Some Christian marriage therapists in Houston will meet with you once a week, while others can meet with you every other week. Ensure that you know how long the sessions will last. Some Christian couples therapists do 45 minute sessions, while others will do a 90-minute session.
What will Christian marriage counseling sessions look like?
Every Christian therapist is unique. Some will only meet with the couple. While others will meet with each party independently. Will there be prayer involved? Will there be homework involved? Will the therapy favor one person over the other? Just ask away, so you have some clarity before jumping in.
Do you interpret scripture during Christian marriage counseling sessions?
My personal belief is that it is not my job to interpret scripture. I believe that it is the Holy Spirit who does the work in your heart and convicts you. I however will point you in the direction of a scripture and we can explore what that scripture means to you and your spouse.
However, you might be looking for a Christian couples therapist in Houston who does interpret scripture and who does give you the understanding of what the scripture means. This is why it is important to have this conversation with a prospective Christian therapist in the first place. You want to ensure that the therapy is moving in the direction that you expect it to.
What are your Christian beliefs about the role of a husband and a wife?
This basic belief can color the entire process of Christian Marriage counseling. There are some Christians who believe that a husband is the ultimate authority and he is able to be borderline abusive towards his wife.
There are other Christians who absolutely do not believe this and believe that the man and the wife should be loving and kind towards his wife.
Ask the Christian marriage therapist in Houston what their beliefs are about the role of the husband and the wife. You do not want to pour gasoline on an already burning fire.
Apprehension is normal
If you are new to marriage counseling or Christian marriage counseling in Houston, it is normal to feel a little bit of apprehension before you jump in. My recommendation is that you create a short list of marriage counselors that you feel comfortable with.
Ask for a consultation
After doing this, ask to schedule a free consultation call so that you can get more of a feel for their personality and their beliefs.
Ask yourself what you need in a Christian marriage counselor before you begin. Do you have a specific gender? Christian denomination? Age range? Race? Ethnicity? Language spoke? You and your spouse have to be comfortable for marriage counseling or couples therapy to be effective.
If you're ready to start the process of healing and greater communication in your marriage, click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call with me. I am a Black Christian marriage counselor in the Houston area. I see married couples throughout California and Texas. Please remember that as long as you and your spouse are willing, you can have the marriage of your dreams.
About the Author
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are: