4 Sneaky ways in which trauma affects your life (And how to kick it in the butt)
Trauma.
1 huge horrific word.
It’s the boogie man in the closet that you do not speak of for fear that it will eat you up. It’s the thing that has you in a chokehold so you feel like you can’t breathe.
You think you can ignore those horrible things that happened to you and around you, but little do you know that trauma is indeed affecting you.
Here are 4 sneaky ways that trauma affects your life.
1) You avoid CERTAIN situations, people, places and things
When you go through a traumatic event, you get the idea that anything to do with that event is a red flag. For example, if you were involved in a car accident, every time you go to that specific street, or you see a reminder of the event, you might feel your chest tighten or your palms get sweaty.
At first it seems unproblematic, but over time it begins to get in the way. To use the car crash example, it might stop you from driving altogether. And then you have to start asking for rides, using rideshare programs or walking everywhere (which we know is rough in the Houston summers).
Or maybe you went through a traumatic experience due to being attacked. Every time you see someone who resembles or sounds like the assailant, you might freeze or feel the need to run or fight.
It makes complete sense. Your body is just really trying to protect you.
2) You see danger everywhere you go
Trauma really has you protecting yourself- even when there is no need to actually protect yourself. You might have walked through the world feeling excited and carefree, but trauma changes that.
Suddenly you find yourself feeling closed off in new friendships. Everyone becomes a suspect. You learn how to build a solid wall, but you don’t know how to knock the wall down when you need to have loved ones peek through.
You become a much more hardened version of who you used to be.
And sometimes you see physical danger when you go around. You think so much more about protecting your body and your personal space. It’s exhausting.
3) It haunts your dreams. Literally
Sometimes trauma continues to nag at you- even in your dreams. You spend the entire day feeling happy, and then you shut your eyes, only for trauma to start bothering you.
You might see yourself running away from something or someone. Or you might find yourself revisiting what happened over and over again.
4) You become super defensive or aggressive
Trauma at first makes you feel weak, taken advantage of and small. And so to compensate for this lack, you might become aggressive. Or you might assume people are trying to hurt you, so you defend yourself. Your walls are up, and you might start to get snappy at people. The idea might be, “I don’t need anyone. Let me hurt them before they hurt me.”
Now this keeps you protected, but it also prevents intimacy and closeness.
The good thing is that trauma does not have to ruin your life.
How to kick trauma in the butt
The first step to kicking trauma’s butt is to take a look inward to see if you are indeed ready to do the work. Trauma therapy isn’t for the faint of heart.
If you realize that you are ready to work through your trauma, find yourself a great trauma therapist in Houston. One whose style matches your personality and your goals.
Figure out what style of therapy you want. There is basically talk therapy and non talk therapy. Talk therapy will have you doing a play by play of the trauma and talking through it. But my favorite is- brainspotting trauma therapy . This is a non traditional style of therapy in which we utilize your eye movements to help you access the deeper layers of your brain where trauma and big emotions live. Once we successfully do that, your body takes care of the rest. Brainspotting is basically the cousin on EMDR.
Neve heard of brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston? Watch my videos below.
If you are ready to stop letting trauma control your life, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are: