Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA &amp; TX

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 9/25/24 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 9/25/24

Finding the Best Trauma Therapist in Houston and Katy: Empowering Women to Heal

You’ve had it rough. Lots of cruel, sad things have happened to you, and you’re not sure how you’ve survived or made it this far. You’ve noticed that you’re snappy, you struggle to engage with friends, and your walls are up. Maybe it’s time to find a great trauma therapist in Houston to help you finally heal from the trauma.

You’re tired of being a hard shell. You want to enter your soft girl era.

Trauma therapy is so important because it helps you process through all the yucky memories that are sitting in your body and mind. They say the body doesn't forget.

And that is why I love brainspotting trauma therapy. It’s a non traditional way of approaching trauma in a gentler, but still effective way. With traditional talk therapy it might take a really long time to even feel comfortable broaching the topic of trauma.

But with brainspotting, you can jump right in. Your body does the work for you. And it takes you where you need to go without all the overthinking and cerebral-ness you’ve grown accustomed to.

We know that trauma can have you feeling disconnected from your own body. Brainspotting therapy helps you feel at home again.

So if you’re a woman in Houston or Katy who knows that the time is right for trauma therapy, please know that the first step is to find the right trauma therapist for you. Because the single most important factor in the success of therapy is the fit between the therapist and the client.

What Does a Trauma Therapist in Houston Do?

My job as a trauma therapist is simply to create a safe container so that we can begin to give you access to some of the memories that are locked safely inside your brain.

You see, when you go through trauma, your body does a protective thing by helping you forget some of the information. The problem is from time to time, when you least expect it, some of these memories seep back in at the most inconvenient of times.

And so you sometimes find yourself crying, feeling angry, muscle tightening up, not trusting loved ones, feeling unsafe, and just wanting to crawl up into a ball.

My job is to give you a safe way to begin to unlock and kinda digest those memories so they stop controlling you. In addition to opening you up during brainspotting, I bring in additional skills to help you calm and soothe your body. Because I don’t want you feeling like you have lost all control when you're at the office, when you’re trying to raise your kids or when you’re simply driving down the street.

Why Houston and Katy are Great for Finding Specialized Trauma Therapy

The great thing about the Houston area and Katy being so large is that there is a wide array of competent trauma therapists to choose from. There also is a positive culture of seeking physical and emotional wellness here. You can narrow down by gender, ethnicity, years of experience, style, location, personality, religion etc. You basically have your pick- and that’s a great spot for you to be in.

Brainspotting: A Unique Approach to Healing Trauma

So let’s go back to brainspotting. If you've been doing your research on trauma therapy, you’ve probably heard about EMDR therapy. Well, brainspotting, in my opinion, is the gentler cousin of EMDR.

Brainspotting utilizes your eye movements to help you locate the trauma in the brain so that you can digest it and eliminate it.

There isn’t a whole lot of talking from your therapist. It feels like you get locked in the zone and your brain will naturally bring up whatever needs to come up. I call it ‘Supercharged therapy.’ It’s great for the busy woman who is definitely ready to heal, but does not want to spend a ton of time going back and forth with her therapist.

How Brainspotting Differs from Traditional Talk Therapy

With traditional talk therapy, you might have to give your therapist a play by play of exactly what happened to you. Your therapist asks you questions, you answer them, and then you ping back and forth.

But sometimes giving a play by play of exactly what happened feels like you are getting traumatized all over again.

Let’s be honest, as a busy woman, who has time for all that? You want to get straight to the root of the trauma and yank it out (gently of course) from your brain so it stops controlling you.

Finding a Trauma Therapist in Houston Who Specializes in Brainspotting

If you have decided that you are indeed ready for trauma therapy, then it’s time to start your search.

You can just start with a simple google search. Type in “Trauma therapist Houston” or “Brainspotting therapist Houston.” This is where you need to trust your gut. Pull up the first 5-7 websites and read through them.

Does the therapist appear approachable?

Do they mention trauma or brainspotting?

What are your first impressions of the therapist? Go with that. If you feel meh, then skip on by and move on to the next person.

Once you have narrowed it down to about 3-4 therapists you like, you can schedule a consultation call to see if you feel comfortable with them. Now is the time to be clear on what you want to accomplish, find out about the therapist’s background and style.

If Google searches aren’t your thing, you can use a therapist directory, so you can narrow down by gender, specialty, religion, etc. Some helpful therapist directories are:

What to Expect During Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist

The first step in trauma therapy is typically the assessment session. If I were your therapist, I would want to know all the things about you because it helps me know what interventions to bring in for you. I do not offer cookie cutter service. Period.

You’ll learn about your rights as a client, your responsibilities a client, my responsibilities to you as a therapist, we’ll also talk about your upbringing, social environment, emotional status, romantic relationships, how your career is going, spiritual life, prior diagnoses and experiences with physical and mental health.

All. The. Things.

Why do I need to know this? Because I am looking at you as a unique human. I am assessing to see if trauma therapy is right for you. We are also building a rapport. You’re getting used to me and vice versa.

I will also walk you through what to expect from brainspotting, so that there will be no ugly surprises.

How Trauma Therapy Helps Women in Houston and Katy Reclaim Their Lives

Why do I love brainspotting trauma therapy so much? Because it frees women. They come in feeling small, stifled, overwhelmed, stuck, burdened. And they leave feeling like they can speak up, lift their heads up and go through life without the ugly fog that has been hanging over their heads for years

Taking the First Step: How to Connect with a Trauma Therapist in Houston

Although I’ve already said this, I need to drive it home. Once you select 3-4 therapists, reach out to them through their website or the therapist directory.

Ugly secret. Some therapists will not give you a call back (Not me. I respond to every single email, text and voicemail within 2 business days). It’s because we typically are solo business owners who are doing all the things alone. Don’t fret. If you don’t get a timely response, just move on over to the next person on your list.

Please know that it might take you a few tries to find the therapist for you. But please keep trying until you find the right match.

Ready to start your healing journey with a trauma therapist in Houston? Click here today to book your free consultation call for Brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward reclaiming your life.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 9/18/24 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 9/18/24

What Happens in Trauma Therapy? A Guide from a Trauma Therapist in Houston

Trauma is everywhere. That’s a scary thought. But because most people know what trauma is, it is important to understand the process of healing one’s trauma through therapy.

There is a growing need for specialized trauma therapists in Houston, because the world is getting harsher and harsher. People are no longer willing to suffer in silence- which is AMAZING!

But sometimes, seeking help for the trauma that has you in a chokehold feels scary. You might have heard horror stories about people who have gone to therapy. Or maybe your mama has warned you to never tell strangers your business.

And as an adult woman, you might also feel like you are way too busy to spend about 1 hour each week talking through trauma.

Today I’m about to help silence your fears and give you some insight into what trauma therapy actually is.

Trauma is everywhere. That’s a scary thought. But because most people know what trauma is, it is important to understand the process of healing one’s trauma through therapy.

There is a growing need for specialized trauma therapists in Houston, because the world is getting harsher and harsher. People are no longer willing to suffer in silence- which is AMAZING!

And as an adult woman, you might also feel like you are way too busy to spend about 1 hour each week talking through trauma.

Today I’m about to help silence your fears and give you some insight into what trauma therapy actually is.

The good news is that trauma therapy doesn’t have to involve a whole lot of time and a whole lot of talking. With unique and cutting edge therapies like brainspotting, you can finally work through your trauma in less time than traditional trauma therapies.

Regardless of what type of therapy you embark on, there will be an element of apprehension. It comes with the territory. But luckily, a very skilled trauma therapist can have you feeling safe and comfortable in very little time.

What Does Trauma Therapy Involve?

Trauma therapy might sound big and scary, but it might not be as bad as you imagine. The first step in trauma therapy is finding a therapist you are comfortable with.

How will you know when you find them? You’ll know. It’s the feeling of “She gets me and I feel safe with her.” Trust your gut always.

Your first session would probably be an assessment session. Your therapist would ask about previous experiences in therapy, what your social life looks like, your upbringing, maybe some childhood experiences, your family life, what brings you into therapy, what you’re looking to get out of therapy, your educational background and work life, your emotional health, physical health and a whole lot more.

Why do we do this?

Because trauma therapy is not cookie cutter. When I know you better, it gives me insight into how to better help you.

During the second session this is when I first introduce brainspotting- which in my opinion, is a much more powerful and effective way to process trauma than traditional talk therapy. The main difference is that with brainspotting, we literally jump straight into the trauma during the second session. Why waste time?

With the power of eye movements and some strategic guidance on my part, I am able to help you access exactly where those emotions and experiences have been trapped in your brain- all in under an hour.

But with talk therapy, it might take multiple sessions before you are able to access the things that have been locked in the recesses of your brain. At first glance, brainspotting might seem a bit harsher than talk therapy, but it gets the work done faster.

There is also no guessing. In traditional talk therapy, your therapist has to gently coax memories out of you. None of that exists during brainspotting. Your brain will naturally guide you to where you need to go- thereby boosting your confidence too.

The Role of a Trauma Therapist in Houston: Guiding You Through Your Healing Journey

My job as a trauma therapist is to be your guide. Although you and I might have different educational backgrounds, I believe that you know yourself better than anyone else. Yes, I am a mental health expert, but you are the expert of your own brain and body.

I understand the unique needs of women, because oftentimes we don’t have the luxury of time to sit still and take care of our own mental health needs.

So in the under 1 hour that you work with me, my job is to help you prioritize yourself, validate yourself, find safety and help give you the tools so that you can continue to function as the high performing woman that you are.

I specifically love that brainspotting is so empowering to women. It helps you feel like you belong in your own body again. You are no longer frightened by the difficult memories. You learn how to ask for what you want, to comfort yourself when you need it, and to express emotions appropriately.

Brainspotting helps you get your power back, because we know that trauma could have you feeling completely weak and stuck.

How Brainspotting Works: A Deeper Look into Trauma Therapy

Brainspotting basically helps stop overthinking, over rationalizing and can help connect you to the more emotional part of your brain. When one goes through trauma, sometimes you shut off the emotional part of you in order to protect yourself. But a fully functioning woman deserves to have full access to both her thoughts and her emotions.

Let’s learn a bit of brain science.

Most of us are engaging the frontal cortex when we talk, when we make everyday decisions. But we typically neglect the emotional centers. But with brainspotting, the frontal cortex gets to take a break (no more overthinking), so that you can have access to the deeper areas of the brain where your emotions are (and where trauma is stored).

Why is this helpful?

Because traumatic emotions literally make you feel like you are trapped. When you are able to access these emotions at a deeper level and digest them, you can be set free from the pain of trauma.

What to Expect During Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist in Houston

After the assessment session that I mentioned previously, you are now ready to begin brainspotting. Yup! Just like that. You don’t need fancy prep work.

The second session is where I introduce brainspotting. You’ll decide what issue or memory you would like as the target of the session. Then I’ll ask you what emotions are coming up for you and where you sense it in your body (brainspotting is really great for helping improve your mind-body connection).

Once this is done, I take a step back and allow you to see what comes up.

It will feel like you are taking a series of wild turns in your brain. Some people talk through it, while others are silent. But it will feel like your thoughts are moving rapidly until you find a resolution. And yes, you will eventually reach a point in the brainspotting session where you feel like you have digested the issue.

Just. Like. That.

If you’ve never experienced brainspotting, I realize this will all sound wacko. But once you experience it, it makes all the sense in the world.

Is Trauma Therapy Right for You? Finding the Best Trauma Therapist in Houston

Now brainspotting feels remarkably different from traditional trauma therapy. For one, your therapist won’t be doing a whole lot of talking. Instead, you will be given the space to explore the emotions as they naturally come up.

I do have to say brainspotting can feel intense, but once you get all the emotions out, the catharsis is HUGE. Some clients say they had the best sleep of their lives after a brainspotting session.

If you are ready to trust the process and truly heal from trauma, then it might be the right type of therapy for you.

Now, on to choosing the right trauma therapist in Houston.

Go with someone whom you feel will listen to you, guide you and will match your general vibe. Ensure that they actually do have training in some type of modality that deals with trauma.

Before selecting a therapist, go through their website, ask to schedule a consultation call so that you can get a sense of their personality. Because if it’s not a cultural fit, it just won’t work.

What do I mean by cultural fit?

For example, when working with me, I literally don’t care how you dress. Show up in a bonnet, a blanket and some pajamas, and I’m fine, as long as you are cozy.

I also inject a lot of slang, laughter and lightness into sessions. Sure we’re working on trauma, but we have to live right? Yup! I also understand the unique needs of immigrants, Christian women, first gen folks and highly sensitive people. So I weave all of this into my work with you.

Ready to take the next step in your healing journey with a trauma therapist in Houston? Click here to book your free consult call for brainspotting trauma therapy and reclaim your life today!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 9/11/24 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 9/11/24

4 Sneaky ways in which trauma affects your life (And how to kick it in the butt)

Trauma.

1 huge horrific word.

It’s the boogie man in the closet that you do not speak of for fear that it will eat you up. It’s the thing that has you in a chokehold so you feel like you can’t breathe.

You think you can ignore those horrible things that happened to you and around you, but little do you know that trauma is indeed affecting you.

Trauma.

1 huge horrific word.

It’s the boogie man in the closet that you do not speak of for fear that it will eat you up. It’s the thing that has you in a chokehold so you feel like you can’t breathe.

You think you can ignore those horrible things that happened to you and around you, but little do you know that trauma is indeed affecting you.

Here are 4 sneaky ways that trauma affects your life.

1) You avoid CERTAIN situations, people, places and things

When you go through a traumatic event, you get the idea that anything to do with that event is a red flag. For example, if you were involved in a car accident, every time you go to that specific street, or you see a reminder of the event, you might feel your chest tighten or your palms get sweaty.

At first it seems unproblematic, but over time it begins to get in the way. To use the car crash example, it might stop you from driving altogether. And then you have to start asking for rides, using rideshare programs or walking everywhere (which we know is rough in the Houston summers).

Or maybe you went through a traumatic experience due to being attacked. Every time you see someone who resembles or sounds like the assailant, you might freeze or feel the need to run or fight.

It makes complete sense. Your body is just really trying to protect you.

2) You see danger everywhere you go

Trauma really has you protecting yourself- even when there is no need to actually protect yourself. You might have walked through the world feeling excited and carefree, but trauma changes that.

Suddenly you find yourself feeling closed off in new friendships. Everyone becomes a suspect. You learn how to build a solid wall, but you don’t know how to knock the wall down when you need to have loved ones peek through.

You become a much more hardened version of who you used to be.

And sometimes you see physical danger when you go around. You think so much more about protecting your body and your personal space. It’s exhausting.

3) It haunts your dreams. Literally

Sometimes trauma continues to nag at you- even in your dreams. You spend the entire day feeling happy, and then you shut your eyes, only for trauma to start bothering you.

You might see yourself running away from something or someone. Or you might find yourself revisiting what happened over and over again.

4) You become super defensive or aggressive

Trauma at first makes you feel weak, taken advantage of and small. And so to compensate for this lack, you might become aggressive. Or you might assume people are trying to hurt you, so you defend yourself. Your walls are up, and you might start to get snappy at people. The idea might be, “I don’t need anyone. Let me hurt them before they hurt me.”

Now this keeps you protected, but it also prevents intimacy and closeness.

The good thing is that trauma does not have to ruin your life.

How to kick trauma in the butt

The first step to kicking trauma’s butt is to take a look inward to see if you are indeed ready to do the work. Trauma therapy isn’t for the faint of heart.
If you realize that you are ready to work through your trauma, find yourself a great trauma therapist in Houston. One whose style matches your personality and your goals.
Figure out what style of therapy you want. There is basically talk therapy and non talk therapy. Talk therapy will have you doing a play by play of the trauma and talking through it. But my favorite is- brainspotting trauma therapy . This is a non traditional style of therapy in which we utilize your eye movements to help you access the deeper layers of your brain where trauma and big emotions live. Once we successfully do that, your body takes care of the rest. Brainspotting is basically the cousin on EMDR.

Neve heard of brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston? Watch my videos below.

What exactly is brainspoting?

How does brainspotting work?

If you are ready to stop letting trauma control your life, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 6/5/24 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 6/5/24

A simple 4-step soothing nighttime routine for highly sensitive people

Highly sensitive people are especially prone to feeling stressed out, cranky or overwhelmed when they do not get enough sleep (I know this all too well). It might take you longer to settle in at night, and you might notice that you need more sleep that your adult counterparts.

So if you notice that you need more than 8 hours of sleep- know that it’s totally normal. Here are some things you can do to set you up for a great night of uninterrupted sleep.

1) Take some time to unwind after your work day

One of the struggles that highly sensitive people often face is that there is difficulty transitioning from one activity to the other. For example, it might be hard for you to settle down when you come home from work. I don’t suggest you just plop into your bed and expect your body to shut down.

Rather, carve out 10 to 30 minutes engaging in an activity that can take your mind off all the stressful activities of the day. This can look like eating a yummy meal, engaging on the phone with a funny friend, listening to some music and dancing as you go along, a podcast, prayer, changing out of your clothes, etc. You might have to try a few activities to figure out what will work for you. And if you don’t like baths (‘cos the internet seems to love bubble baths), you don’t ever have to take one.

P.S: If you are a parent to a little one, you might not have the luxury of carving out 30 minutes. Just do what you can. It gets easier. I promise!

2) Reflect on your day

Had a bad day? Well don’t just pull the covers over your head and expect your brain to forget. Many people spend about an hour tossing and turning in bed because they have not adequately processed the emotions that came up during the day.

It sometimes feels like your heart is pounding out of your chest as you think over the stressors of your day. Sit in a quiet place and allow yourself to do what feels natural- talk it through with someone if that helps. Some people like to pray about it. Others journal, still others talk to themselves about it.

Don’t sleep on talking to yourself. It sounds funny, but feels good.

3) Spend 5 minutes tidying up your bedroom

I often say that your bedroom is your sanctuary. It’s the place your tired mind and body get to spend a huge amount of time. It’s the place where cellular turnover happens. It should be a place of peace, calm and joy.

Highly sensitive people can easily get overstimulated with clutter. But the irony is that we can quickly create clutter when we are in a busy season or going through a lot.

But if you spend 5 minutes at the end of each day tidying up, you’ll save yourself some headache. Try this practice and watch your life change

P.S: I’m also an insomnia expert, so here’s a link to my previous blog posts on everything sleep.

4) Get rid of distractions

Before going into the bed, think of anything that could possibly wake you up from sleep (aside from little ones) and figure out how to silence those things for the next 8-10 hours.

This can include social media notifications, text notifications, television, your laptop, annoyingly bright lights, itchy sheets, labels in your pajamas, uncomfortable room temperature, etc.

The next time you lay in bed, think of things that have bothered you- then get rid of them. For example, if you notice that the sun hits you in the face every morning, consider closing the blinds before going to bed.

A soothing nighttime routine doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It’s just something you have to be consistent with.

What is 1 thing you have to do before going to bed? I’d love to find out.

If you’re a highly sensitive woman who is looking to finally understand sensitivity, learn how to manage overwhelm and stand up for yourself, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consult call with me. I’d love to connect with you.

My framework for helping highly sensitive women understand sensitivity, stand up for themselves and get rid of overwhelm.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali.

I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.

I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist also providing Christian marriage counseling in Houston and throughout California.

Many of my clients are: