How to Manage Overwhelm: Strategies for Highly Sensitive People

Overwhelmed by Everyone’s Needs? How to Manage Relationship Stress as a Highly Sensitive Woman

As a highly sensitive person, because you are so in tune with the feelings of others and you care so much about what happens to people around you, you might find yourself constantly tending to their emotional needs. And when people feel the level of warmth and empathy that you bring to the table, they keep coming to you to continue to fill their emotional needs. And although this is a great way to connect with others, and you do enjoy helping people (because the skill comes so easily to you), the problem is you run the risk of pouring continuously into other people without getting your own emotional needs met.

And what happens overtime is that your emotional well dries out. The good thing is that there are many strategies that you can utilize to ensure that you continue to be a caring person, while getting your needs met.

• Ask for what you need: Feel free to ask the people around you for your needs. If you need help, ask for it. Because if you keep pouring into others without receiving, you will be burned out.

• Take a break: Even though you enjoy spending time helping others, note when you bandwidth is depleted and take a step back. You can’t serve people all the time.

• Know your limit: You can’t be all things to all people all the time. Play to your strengths and let others do the rest, You can’t stretch yourself too thin.

• Balance your hobbies with your responsibilities: Each week, spend some time looking at your calendar to ensure that you include some hobbies or at least some downtime. Actually put it in, or else it won’t happen.

If the above feels like too much, brainspotting therapy can help you get unstuck. It’s an effective way of helping you break away from difficult habits that have been stubborn to break.

How to Say ‘No’ Without Feeling Guilty: Boundaries for Highly Sensitive Overachievers

Because you are so in tune with the feelings of others, you might feel like a bad person when it is time to turn somebody away. After all, you might think “What is the harm in helping them? If I know I can help them, why can't I just do that every time they call me?” The problem with this is that if every time somebody called you for help, you actually run to them, you would be helping people all day, therefore leaving yourself drained.

It is even more difficult to set boundaries when you are a high-performing woman. Because a part of you is excited and feels fulfilled when you check those tasks off your to do list. Work is actually quite enjoyable to you. And because you're quite capable of helping other people emotionally, coupled with being so great at your job, you feel extremely guilty when you have to say no or turn somebody down.

But when you constantly say “Yes,” you gain the reputation of the super responsible woman. People automatically run to you when there is a problem – even at work. And over time, you begin to resent those around you, because you wonder why all the competent people around you seem to outsource their problems and their work to you. It is because you have created a monster.

Before you say “Yes” to someone, give yourself a 24-hour window to think it through. Ask yourself if you have the bandwidth to be able to help them in this season. Think about all the other responsibilities you have. Will you be able to help them and carry out your responsibilities without burnout? Will helping them bring long-standing joy and peace for you? Just because you can help someone does not mean you should always jump in to help them.

Think about it this way: If you do not allow people to learn how to work through things, you rob them of the process of actually learning how to work through things. If you are involved in healthy work and personal relationships, then it is possible to say “No” sometimes without negative repercussions. You can prioritize your self-care without damaging your relationship.

This is where Brainspotting therapy comes in with my clients. Brainspotting therapy helps change long-standing habits that have held you back and made you feel stuck. Brainspotting targets the deeper layers of the brain so that these unhelpful habits can finally be broken. When we have broken the emotional hold, then saying “no” to prioritize your self-care becomes so much easier. And guess what? The guilt starts to go away.

Balance is Possible: How Highly Sensitive Women Can Juggle Career, Relationships, and Self-Care

As a high performing woman, it is important to accept that you will never be able to accomplish every single task that you have laid out for yourself. It’s not because you are lazy or incompetent, it is simply because your expectations for yourself are sometimes too high.

It is also important to remember that you cannot throw yourself so deep into work that you forget all your personal relationships. You can do both quite well- if you are able to put up good boundaries and prioritize your mental health. With Brainspotting therapy, you experience a world of emotional clarity so that it becomes so much easier to manage the dynamics of personal relationship versus your high-powered career.

To keep it simple, when you're looking at your weekly schedule, make sure there is actually time for you to rest, recharge and maybe connect with somebody outside of your work. If you are intentional about this on a weekly basis, it becomes a lot more difficult to be constantly drowning in work. Maybe you have some busy seasons at work where it’s all hands on deck, but when you're outside of busy season, be sure to calendar in time to actually spend with loved ones.

When you think about your work dynamics, are you carrying too heavy a load? Is there any wiggle room where you can either drop some responsibilities, outsource them or complete them at a later date? Remember that there are areas within your workspace that you have control over. Those are the areas in which you have to assert your influence and voice. Life does not just happen to you- you have a say in certain areas of your life. It’s the idea of accepting what you cannot change, but changing what you can,

When You Feel Everything: How to Keep Emotional Overload from Ruining Your Relationships

As a highly sensitive woman, you can feel like you absorb the emotions of others. But it’s not like you are actually absorbing their emotions. It’s that you notice tiny details that act like an alarm and alert you to how others are feeling. And this feels like you have actually absorbed their emotions. This can lead you to either run away from others- because you do not enjoy the feeling of constantly being tossed around by the emotions of others.

Or sometimes, you get overly involved in the emotional business of others because you want to fix and soothe them. Remember that is not necessarily your job to fix everyone. Sometimes others do not actually want your help. Sometimes they're fine with the way things are going. Sometimes they're coming to you simply to vent- not to fix. And if you do not have enough bandwidth to actually help somebody who is asking for your help, then what you will get is complete burn out, resentment and frustration. Know when you have the bandwidth to have deep conversations versus when you just want to keep things light. This will prevent you from emotional overload.

Also have at least one safe person in your life with whom you can share your emotional burdens. You are allowed to laugh wit them, cry with them, vent, and just be human. You can talk about the difficult things in your life, as well as the wins you are experiencing.

The Art of Unplugging: How to Step Away Without Feeling Disconnected from Loved Ones

One of the most important parts of being highly sensitive is having alone time and times when you minimize distractions. Even though you might live a very busy lifestyle and lots of people come to you for help, it is important that you have some non-negotiables around always being busy. As a high-performing woman, spending time by yourself gives you the opportunity to reflect on the work that you are doing and also recharge your energy so that you can continue to perform at a high level.

Unplugging does not mean that you completely ghost everyone. Unplugging simply means that you have specific times in your schedule when you can be by yourself. You can take yourself to lunch, you can sit at home and watch TV, or you can simply silence your phone so that you can do other things around the house. You can go on a relaxing vacation or you can decide that you will no longer be helping people during this season because your life is already feeling too full. It really is that simple. Some people like to set boundaries every single day by putting their phones on do not disturb from a certain hour in the evening until morning.

Are you constantly overwhelmed by the emotional demands of your relationships? As a trauma therapist in Houston specializing in brainspotting therapy, I help high-performing, highly sensitive women—including Black women—manage overwhelm and build healthier, more balanced relationships. Schedule a brainspotting therapy consult call in Houston today to start your journey toward emotional peace and deeper connections!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Boundaries without the guilt: How to say ‘No’ and still feel like the superwoman that you are

Embracing Your Inner Superwoman: The Power of Saying ‘No’ in Personal Relationships

Let’s face it, without you, your household will end up in chaos. You don’t enjoy it being this way, but that’s where you are currently. The goal is to get to a point in which you still maintain your sensitivity, warmth and softness, but you no longer shoulder everyrone’s burdens on your back. I have to be honest, I don’t personally love the title of ‘Superwoman,’ but I do have to admit that you are definitely playing that role right now.

You are the nucleus of your family- both your immediate and extended family. Without you, it appears that everything will fall apart. While that sounds great in theory, in practice, it means you get no days off. It means you rarely get time to yourself. It also means that the people around you do not attempt to do certain tasks, because it is assumed that you’ve got this.

The outcome?

You end up burned out, frustrated and resentful. Not a good place to be.

But then you begin to know your boundaries and set those boundaries with your friends and loved ones, you start to reclaim some of your time. You start to tell them what you will be willing to do and what you are no longer willing to do. They begin to see you as human- not Superwoman. They start to think about your needs, your wants, your bandwidth and your time. They start to check up on you the way you have checked up on them for years. This can greatly strengthen your relationships.

Overcoming Guilt: Why Saying ‘No’ Doesn’t Mean You’re Letting Others Down

The most difficult part of setting boundaries is the guilt that comes with it. When you first learn to say ‘No,’ you will most likely get push back from the people around you. They might think you are mean, they might think you no longer care about them, they might wonder why you have chosen not to help them, even though they know you are capable.

And this will scare you, sadden you, surprise you. Because you know you are only setting boundaries to maintain your own mental and physical health. So there has to be a mindset shift that comes with boundary setting. Every time you try to set a boundary, give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that you might receive backlash. But also remind yourself that you are doing this to set yourself free from a life of resentment, burnout and complete exhaustion.

You might also think that setting boundaries is selfish. Because you have spent majority of your life catering to people who are perfectly capable of helping themselves. The more you have done that, the more they have thrived and the more exhausted you have felt. After a while, people begin to think that it is your job to take care of them. They stop thanking you for your help and they start assuming that it is now your duty. Remind yourself of this. If you don’t get good at boundary setting, where will you be? Write it out.

Boundary setting is a strength- not a form of selfishness. Selfishness means you never think of others. Strength means that you are able to do something, but you hold back so that the other person can learn how to take care of themselves and how to think about your needs too.

The Art of Saying ‘No’ with Confidence: Tips from a Trauma Therapist in Houston

When you are trying to set a boundary, it is important to exude confidence and to be very clear. I often say that I specialize in helping people set clear, kind boundaries. Because boundaries and assertiveness doesn’t equal meanness. Sometimes you try to set a boundary, but your words are so unclear that the person has no clue what you’re talking about. And for people who are manipulative, if they notice that you appear uncomfortable about your boundaries, they will steam roll you.

Sad, but true.

Here are some simple boundary setting steps:

1)) The first step in boundary setting is believing in the boundary. Know why you are setting the boundary in the first place. What is your goal? Is it to gain freedom from the expectations of others? Is it to finally have time to yourself? Is it to stop the phone from ringing so much? Know why you are setting the boundary.

2) The next step is to allow guilt to come. When you have taken care of people for so long, you almost feel obligated to continue to do so- even though you are tired. Expect that you will feel guilty when you set the boundary. However do not let the guilt completely take over. Notice the guilt, let it sit there, but still set the boundary anyway. The more you get used to setting boundaries, the sooner the guilt will shrink.

3) Next comes the practice. Practice what you are going to say. The goal of clear communication is this:

If a stranger were to walk in on your boundary setting conversation, will they be able to understand exactly what you meant? Or could they draw another conclusion from your statement?

Here is a simple framework to use. Please remember to keep your statements short and straight to the point. There is no need to beat about the bush or over explain why you have chosen a certain set of boundaries. Use this simple framework that was developed by Dr. and Dr. Gottman.

I feel [include emotion], about [say the situation]. Here is what I need [include needs here].

For example: “I feel frustrated about having to wake you up every day. What I need is for you to set an alarm every morning.

Notice I didn’t over explain. I kept it straight to the point. When you try to over explain yourself, people tend to try to poke holes in your explanation and talk you out to it. So Just keep it short and sweet.

Building Healthy Relationships: How Boundaries Lead to Stronger Connections

Boundary setting is also a great way to know whether or not the people around you are safe. Safe people generally respect the boundaries of others. Safe people also want to see you grow and thrive. When they upset you or cause you some sort of discomfort, they are quick to apologize. They also don’t take advantage of you. Even though they might know that boundary setting feels uncomfortable for you, they will take a step back and honor your wishes.

And when you realize that your friends are safe, it brings you so much closer together. It fosters an environment of respect and understanding. Saying ‘No’ helps the people around know your likes and dislikes. It also helps you better understand what you do and do not want to do. It enhances personal relationships because you can move beyond being superficial and get to your deeper feelings and needs.

Finding Freedom in ‘No’: A Journey with a Black Therapist in Houston

Learn how therapy can support you in establishing and maintaining boundaries that empower you in all areas of your life.

If boundary setting sounds like something completely terrifying, it’s okay. You can breathe. A knowledgable therapist in Houston (AKA me!) can help you work through how to gently establish and maintain boundaries in your life. Boundary setting can help empower you, remove a lot of the stress that comes from constantly putting your needs on the back burner. You will learn how to stand up for yourself, what your actual needs are, how to communicate them in a way that does not seem totally awful, and how to manage the big guilt that shows up when you do the brave thing and set boundaries.

The great thing about boundary setting is that it doesn’t have to be limited to just your personal relationships. You can learn how to set boundaries with strangers, at work, as well as even boundaries with yourself. The work can be hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, you can walk in freedom.

Ready to Reclaim Your Power? Connect with a Trauma Therapist in Houston Today!

Don’t let guilt hold you back any longer. Contact me to learn how to set loving boundaries and embrace your superwoman human self with the guidance of a skilled Black therapist in Houston! Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call and see if boundary setting therapy in Houston is right for you.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

People pleasing vs personal power: How highly sensitive women can set loving boundaries

Understanding People-Pleasing: The Hidden Cost for Highly Sensitive Women

Most highly sensitive women that I know are well loved by the people around them. Why? Because of their warmth and empathy. Because highly sensitive women are such deep thinkers and feelers, they are really great at shouldering the problems of others, lending a hand and solving problems.

When a highly sensitive woman comes in contact with a person in need, she can almost feel the person’s pain. But what they are actually feeling is deep empathy. Because of the empathy, they sometimes will jump in to rescue the person from pain or perceived danger. The more people notice that you are great at helping them with their problems, solving struggles and listening, the more they come to you. Now the problem with that is that it could quickly lead to emotional exhaustion.

Many HSPs spend so much time taking care of the needs of others, that they do not have time for themselves. Imagine spending all day absorbing the emotions of others and brainstorming how to help. There is zero time to recharge and reflect- which is essential to the wellbeing of HSPs. Because they do not want to be perceived as mean or selfish, they often keep silent while others walk all over them. This could lead to resentment, sadness and even a strain in your personal relationships.

The Power of "No": Why Setting Boundaries is Essential for Your Well-Being

To get rid of resentment, it is important that you learn how to set clear boundaries and say “No.” You do not have to help everyone every time just because you can. Whenever you jump in to solve a problem that could have been solved by the other person, you actually rob them of the opportunity to problem solve and strategize.

When a person is spending majority of their energy on others, without paying enough attention to themselves, it takes a huge toll. Take a step back. Ask yourself where boundaries need to be set. Who are the people in your life that are using up too much of your bandwidth? In what areas do you need to stand up for yourself or reset those boundaries?

At first when you say “No,” people around you might be shocked, but if you hang in there, they will eventually understand that this is your new way of living. The thing about boundaries is that it is your job to enforce them, or no one will take you seriously.

Balancing Empathy and Assertiveness: A Guide for Highly Sensitive Women

When setting boundaries, it is important to remember that your needs matter too. Setting boundaries does not mean that you have to put your empathetic side away. It means that you can juggle both. Assertiveness means that your needs matter just as much as the needs of others.

When you are called upon to solve a problem, here are some questions to ask yourself:

1) Do I have the time to solve the problem right now?

2) Do I have the bandwidth to solve the problem right now?

3) Do I want to solve the problem right now?

4) Is this person capable of solving this problem on their own?

Take time to reflect on the above and make a sound decision after this. Remember that saying “No” when you are asked for help, does not make you a mean person. It actually helps people respect you better. It sends the message that even though you are capable of solving their problem, your time and energy are also important. They cannot just barge in whenever they want, with the expectation that you will drop everything and serve them. This is not being mean. It is respecting yourself and others.

Real Stories, Real Change: How Women Like You Have Overcome People-Pleasing

Still wondering how on earth you can become a high performing highly sensitive woman who can keep your empathy and still jump in to help people? Let me walk you through an anecdotal story (Don’t worry, this is not an example from a real client. I protect their privacy at all costs!)

Jane is a highly sensitive woman who is great at everything she does. She always got amazing grades in school, followed all the rules, and she has steadily worked hard to accomplish most of her goals. She is the eldest daughter of a large family, and because of this, she has always been the second mom to her siblings. While this has helped her become super responsible, she is tired. Tired of shouldering the family’s burdens. Tired of being the one called upon to help with finances. Tired of being the one who takes care of everyone’s needs. Tired of being the one who organizes everything. Whenever something important comes up, everyone seems to take a back seat and expects her to step it up.

Jane realized one day that even though she loves her family of origin and wants to fulfill her duty as the eldest, she was exhausted, resentful and beginning to ignore calls and texts from family members. She felt trapped. Something needed to change.

Jane started delegating when it was time to get stuff done within the family. She also started telling them when she would be unavailable to answer phone calls. She set up a discretionary fund each month in case of family emergencies. Once that money was gone, she didn’t give any more. She started focusing on what she had the bandwidth to do. She stuck with her boundaries. At first, her family was exasperated. They tried to guilt her into taking all the responsibilities that she was trying to leave behind. But she stood her ground. She let them know that she is stressed out, on the verge of depression, she cries sometimes and the responsibility is too much for her to bear.

Over time, her family grudgingly started respecting her boundaries. They stopped being offended when she ignored calls sometimes. They started pitching in when Jane asked for help. They eventually became a cohesive family unit. Jane’s resentment left, she was much happier and she had more time to spend on the things she actually loved.

As you can see, boundary setting is not easy, You will experience push back form your family and loved ones, but the only way to release yourself from the burden is to actually consistently set boundaries.

Seeking Support: How a Trauma Therapist in Houston Can Help You Thrive

I see clients like Jane all the time. Clients who are from beautiful collectivist cultures in which the collective wants to act like disjointed individuals. They love their families, but they don’t want them to think they are being mean when they say “No.” My job is not to change your culture or help you run away from your family and loved ones. My job is to help you decide what you have the bandwidth for, how you want to actually maneuver the situation and empower you to say what’s on your mind.

At first it will be difficult, but the more you practice boundary setting, the more you get used to it. It eventually will become your default and the people around you will adjust to suit your new pace. A skilled Black therapist in Houston can help you create a culturally appropriate boundary setting plan.

Ready to Reclaim Your Power? Connect with a Trauma Therapist in Houston Today!

Break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and start setting loving boundaries. Reach out to me- a Black therapist - to begin your journey toward personal empowerment and healthier relationships! Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Why brainspotting works wonders for high performing women

Why High-Performing Black Women in Houston are Turning to Brainspotting Therapy

More and more women are flocking to therapy. Why? Because they are realizing that they don’t want to carry the emotional load all by themselves. And when you specifically talk about Black women who have historically carried entire households on their back, they are tired of the narrative of the strong Black woman.

Black women want to be soft. We want to laugh, cry, get angry, feel frustrated, be loved, seen and treated like humans too. We have hopes and dreams, that have historically been overlooked. We’ve had to put walls up to protect ourselves and our loved ones. And now, for you, the Black woman who is a leader and high performer, you also want your emotional needs to be met.

Because high performers often thrive when there is efficiency and speed, brainspotting is a great therapy of choice. Brainspotting therapy is effective, gentle and gets the job done. It connects you to yourself, helps you heal deep parts of your brain and doesn’t waste your time.

How Brainspotting Delivers Fast, Gentle Relief for High-Achievers

For Houston’s top performing women who don’t have any time to waste, brainspotting therapy is a great way to get rid of anxiety and trauma without spending an unusual amount of time in therapy. Brainspotting therapy essentially is a fast way to get access to the deep layers of your brain where trauma and big emotions are stored.

In a nutshell, brainspotting is a way to get the same results of talk therapy in a much shorter amount of time. During a brainspotting session, you are not solely relying on the educated guesses of your therapist. rather, your brainspotting trained therapist is utilizing an amazing therapy modality to help you access areas of your brain where huge emotions and memories are stored, so you can process, digest and be done with those strong triggers.

The results? It’s basically, fast, gentle relief for high achievers. No more nightmares, night sweats, crying, avoiding activities you used to love and being controlled by the past.

Beyond Talk Therapy: Why Houston’s Trauma Therapists Recommend Brainspotting

So I love talk therapy just as much as the next therapist, however I have to be honest, talk therapy is really no match for brainspotting. Brainspotting accesses much deeper layers of the brain than talk therapy ever could. The results you notice from brainspotting are much quicker than those of talk therapy, and it just seems that brainspotting is so much more efficient than talk therapy when we are targeting trauma.

My clients who have experienced trauma see results in much fewer sessions than when they do talk therapy. In fact, brainspotting is my preferred style of therapy when it comes to trauma. Brainspotting is simply fast acting. Usually in 1-3 sessions, you already notice the difference. I can’t promise these same results for talk therapy.

From Perfectionism to Peace: Brainspotting for the Highly Sensitive, High-Performing Woman

One of my favorite things about brainspotting is that it is great for getting you unstuck. If you have had a specific issue that you just can’t kick, then let’s utilize brainspotting. Many of my clients have tried traditional talk therapy unsuccessfully, and so they use brainspotting to finally resolve the issue.

Issues like perfectionism can be addressed using brainspotting. I can’t promise you that you will never have thoughts around perfectionism, however, brainspotting can help bring you a sense of peace and closure.

Brainspotting is even helpful when you are about to make a big decision or if you have a particular area of stuck-ness like writer’s block or difficulty making executive decisions at work. I especially love brainspotting for highly sensitive women because of how gentle it is on the body. Of course some sessions will feel difficult, however, it gets the job done.

Supporting High-Achieving Black Women’s Mental Health: The Brainspotting Advantage

As a Black therapist in Houston, I usually recommend brainspotting for people who have tried talk therapy before with very little results. I also love to recommend brainspotting therapy of course, for people who feel like they are being controlled by trauma and who just want to go about their lives without constant fear or anxiety. The third group of women I like to recommend brainspotting to are women who feel all talked out. They don’t want to go on and on about their problems, but they want a solution. They are ready to dig deep, feel more connected to their minds and ready to continue performing at a high level.

Take the First Step to Lasting Transformation

Looking for a compassionate Black trauma therapist in Houston? Discover how brainspotting can help you achieve deep healing while staying in touch with your ambition. Click here for a free consultation for brainspotting therapy in Houston.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

The Science Behind Brainspotting: Why It’s a Powerful Tool for Trauma Therapy

Something traumatic happened to you. But it was so scary and difficult that you’ve never been able to speak about it. The problem is even though you don’t talk about it, the images replay again and again in your head. You feel stuck. Anxiety, fear, and isolation plague you. After doing some research, you decide to go to a brainspotting therapist. The work is hard, but one day you suddenly realize that when you wake up in the morning, your mind doesn’t automatically go to the event. You can live freely, without fear, without anxiety. And you have your boldness back.

The truth is that brainspotting is a powerful tool in trauma therapy, particularly for high-performing and highly sensitive women in Houston. It helps to unlock trauma stored deep in the brain for lasting healing..

What is Brainspotting? A Quick Overview for Trauma Therapy in Houston

Brainspotting is essentially a simple way of allowing you to unlock the areas of your brain where trauma and strong emotions are locked. Sometimes when you go through a traumatic event, because your body or mind isn’t ready to process it, it gets trapped in the deepest layers of your brain. It then proceeds to take over your life and bother you through symptoms likes dissociation, anxiety, fear, avoidance, tearfulness and irritability. Trauma can even begin to negatively affect your work and the relationships around you.

When you are finally able to gain access to those deep layers of the brain, you can then process, digest and finally clear the trauma from your brain.

Goodbye icky feeling!

Other traditional talk therapies only allow you to target the outer layers of the brain. Can they help you get rid of trauma? Probably. But they work so much slower and are not as powerful. Brainspotting can cut down the amount of time spent in therapy.

Hello savings!

The Neuroscience of Brainspotting: How It Targets Trauma

Your eyes are a part of your brain. Therefore where you look directly affects how you feel. Each eye movement targets a certain part of the brain. And because trauma gets stored in your brain, what better way to access trauma than utilizing your eyes? It’s the closest thing we can get to accessing your brain aside from actual brain surgery!

When your therapist guides you to look at a certain location- also known as a brainspot, it allows your brain to scan itself, thereby noticing problem areas and your brain naturally begins to solve these complex problems. The brain naturally wants to solve its own problems, the struggle is that we often don’t know the right tools to do so.

But when we use brainspotting, we are able to target the specific location in the brain where the trauma is held. Once we do this, your brain can then find the trauma, scan it, digest it and discard of it.

Brainspotting essentially connects specific eye positions with emotional healing. And it’s backed by neuroscience.

Why High-Performing Women Thrive with Brainspotting Therapy in Houston

A lot of high achieving and high performing women do not like having their time wasted. They are often too busy to take the time to go to therapy. They also like quick results. So brainspotting is especially helpful because you get great results, the results are quicker than those of talk therapy and you dive deep. I’m pretty sure you do not want superficial therapy.

Struggles with anxiety, feeling stuck, dissociation, intergenerational trauma, trauma from childhood, people pleasing, perfectionism, struggles with big emotions, decision making, are all areas that we can work on during our brainspotting sessions. If it interferes with your life, we can brainspot about it.

The Brainspotting Process: What to Expect in Trauma Therapy in Houston

A typical brainspotting session is so much easier than you’d expect. You come in, pick an issue that has been bothering you. It could be an event you experienced, or even a memory. I then ask you what emotion comes up for you as it concerns the event. So you would say something like “Fear” or “Anxiety” or “Disappointment” or “Terror.” Then I ask you where you feel this in the body. Although you might not have noticed this, our minds and bodies are actually connected, so we do feel emotions physically in our bodies. We then identify how it is felt on a scale of 1-10. 1 being the smallest and 10 being the largest,

Using a pointer, I help you find your brainspot- which is simply a point in space for you to look at. Once I find your brainspot, we allow your brain to do the work. It will feel like a bunch of emotions that are connected to the event naturally come up. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you speak out loud and other times, you’re more silent. All this is normal. You can’t do it wrongly.

An important part of brainspotting is also the relationship you have with your therapist. The therapist’s role is to help you feel comfortable, provide a space in which you can process safely and in comfort. Brainspotting is great because it is gentle, non invasive and also backed by science.

Choosing the Right Brainspotting Trauma Therapist in Houston

If you are ready to give brainspotting for trauma therapy a try, it’s important to choose the right therapist. Ensure that their website or therapy profile explicitly state ‘Brainspotting.’ The best step would be to schedule a consultation if possible, and also ask the therapist if they are trained and experienced in brainspotting.

Next, ensure that you feel comfortable with the therapist. Do you like their voice? Their approach to therapy? Are you comfortable around them? Do they answer all the questions you have? Does their schedule match yours? Ask yourself whether you want in person or online (although in my opinion, both will give you great outcomes). Think of finances too. How much are you budgeting per month for therapy?

Harnessing the Science of Brainspotting for Healing

Brainspotting is a powerful way to heal from trauma and get yourself unstuck. It is a great transformative experience for those ready to overcome trauma.

Start Your Healing Journey with a Brainspotting Trauma Therapist in Houston!
Ready to experience the power of brainspotting for yourself? If you’re a high-performing woman or a highly sensitive woman looking to heal from trauma, let’s connect! Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston and unlock a new path to healing!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Why You Should Choose a Trauma Therapist in Houston for Your Healing Journey

You’ve been through so much trauma and pain. All you want is to feel like yourself again, but you have no idea where to start or what to do about it. The good thing is that with the right trauma therapist in Houston, you can indeed experience transformation like you’ve never seen before.

Before you say “Therapy takes too much time and probably doesn’t work,” I’d like to introduce you to a cutting edge method of trauma healing called brainspotting. It can typically cut down the amount of time you spend in therapy, it goes straight to the deepest layers of your brain where trauma and difficult emotions are stored, and you don’t have to give your therapist a play by play of what happened to you if you don’t want to.

What Does a Trauma Therapist in Houston Do?

The role of a trauma therapist is to guide you in a (hopefully) gentle way so that you are able to work through the traumatic memories and digest them. The outcome should be that those memories no longer haunt you, and you begin to feel as close to normal as possible. We do not promise you that your memory would be wiped clean. Nope. But the desired outcome is that you will be able to live a full life, the constant anxiety will quiet down, healthy relationships will be restored and trauma no longer consumes you.

There are many methods of healing trauma. There is talk therapy, in which you discuss the details of the issue over and over again until it no longer bothers you so much. There is talk therapy in which you don’t necessarily have to go into detail, but you work on the after effects of the trauma- not being able to stand up for yourself, avoiding certain things or people, fear, anxiety, irritability, etc.

There is also non traditional therapy (ike brainspotting and EMDR) in which you’re targeting your brain- which is where traumatic memories and feelings are stored.

It is important that therapy be personalized for you. In my practice, I do not use brainspotting for all people. I’m a therapist, NOT a dictator. Some people prefer talk therapy, some prefer a more hybrid model, and some want strict brainspotting. We do what works for you.

Why Brainspotting is a Game-Changer for Trauma Therapy

I love that brainspotting is not only gentle, but it is also effective. You don’t have to jump through a lot of hoops to get started. After the first assessment session, I jump right into it from session 2. I prep you verbally for a few minutes and then I step back to let your brain do its thing.

Brainspotting essentially utilizes your eye gaze to help you target the specific areas of the brain where trauma is stored. Once you gain access, you can now process then digest the trauma.

You see when trauma is stuck in your brain, you feel the effects- jumpiness, tearfulness, anxiety, anger, dissociation, body aches and pains etc. Wouldn’t it be nice to finally clear out those places where trauma has been locked?

It helps you get to the root of the trauma faster. That means less time in therapy and you can go ahead with your happy life sooner.

Why Choose a Trauma Therapist in Houston: The Local Advantage

When you work with a therapist who is local, they get the culture you are a part of. The Houston area is such a unique place that people from other places might just not understand things like how it takes 20 minutes to drive just 5 miles! (Make it make sense).

It is also important to choose a trauma therapist who gets all the other parts of you- ethnicity, religion, gender, marital status, parenting status, etc. Because you have to feel like your therapist is a great match for you- or else, you won’t be able to open up.

I absolutely love working with highly sensitive Christian women who feel like they have to hold their entire family up. I get their unique needs.

What to Expect from Your Healing Journey with a Trauma Therapist in Houston

The therapy processs starts before the first session. You are on Google, trying to find the right fit. With me, I offer a free 15-minute consultation call.

I learn how you want to be supported, what has worked so far, what hasn't worked, and we discuss the way I work. If we decide we are a great match, then during our first virtual session, I get to know you more.

We’ll go through your spiritual, educational, career, relational and emotional background. All these areas help me better understand how to personalize therapy for you.

During the second session, we jump into brainspotting. While using my pointer, we decide what traumatic experience to focus on. You’ll start to process through the event as if it was happening again. You might cry or feel tense while it’s happening, but if you give it some time, you’ll start to feel a sense of relief and peace. Your own body will guide you.

Essentially we open the door in your mind that has been holding back traumatic memories, As you walk through the door, the memories will have less and less of a hold on you.

It sounds more complicated than it really is.

How to Find the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for You

It is important to pick the therapist you feel most comfortable with. You can do a Google search, use a therapy directory or ask around. Chances are you know a few friends who have seen an amazing therapist lately.

My best advice is to check out the therapist’s website first. This gives you an idea of their personality, their background, training, fees etc. I am biased but I recommend brainspotting if you are specifically trying to work through trauma.

Next, schedule a free consultation call if the therapist offers it. This gives you a chance to hear their voice and ask whatever questions are on your mind. I tend to be a very transparent therapist who sees myself as your guide- NOT your boss. I believe you have the answers if I ask you the right questions.

Don’t forget to ask them how they work. Will you meet weekly? Biweekly? Monthly? Etc. My preference is to see my clients weekly to start with. This helps create some rapid progress.

If the therapist doesn’t work out for you, don’t suffer through it. Simply go through the process again and find someone new. Sometimes it takes a few tries, but the right therapist is out there waiting for you.

Ready to take control of your healing journey with a brainspotting trauma therapist in Houston? Schedule a free 15-minute consultation call so you can experience the transformative power of brainspotting trauma therapy firsthand!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.