Perfectionism vs. Peace: How Highly Sensitive Women Can Break Free from the 'Always Perfect' Trap

Perfectionism vs. Peace: How Highly Sensitive Women Can Break Free from the 'Always Perfect' Trap

When you struggle with perfectionism, you constantly feel tense because you know exactly how you want to operate in the relationship, but you find yourself saying and doing things that are incongruent with who you actually are. You essentially operate for the other person and do everything to please the other person. This creates a lot of guilt and shame for you. Because you know what you want to do. It's like your head and your heart have a disconnect. And that leaves you feeling small, feeling bad about yourself and just generally spinning your wheels. The positive thing is that perfectionism is not hardwired into your DNA. With a somatic type of therapy like Brainspotting therapy in Houston, we can actually actively work on how to remove those perfectionistic tendencies so that you can be free to be yourself again. Brainspotting does a good job of releasing the pressure of perfectionism and just allowing you to be who you really are.

How to Set Loving Boundaries in Your Relationships (Without Feeling Guilty)

When you are not used to setting clear boundaries regularly, upon the first try (and during the next few tries) you will definitely be riddled with guilt. Because you spend so much time hoping that the other person is not mad at you. You might think that they'll stop being your friend- all because of the boundary that you set. You just go down an entire rabbit hole- all because you set a boundary. Now the problem with perfectionism, is that it makes boundary setting so difficult, especially in your personal relationships. Because perfectionists expect their relationships to also be perfect. And when someone is mad at you for setting a boundary, that defeats the purpose of perfectionism. When you falter in your boundary setting attempts, that also does not register as perfect.

Setting boundaries could even cause you some anxiety and lots of discomfort. Enter my favorite thing- Brainspotting therapy. With the help of brainspotting you can go from a woman who did everything for everyone else and put her needs on the back burner, to a woman who put her needs first, continues to be empathetic and kind, and is able to create space for herself, relationships and other people too.

You do not have to give up on being the kind person that you already are. Once we are able to identify why perfectionism and people pleasing are staples in your life, we are then able to practice how to set boundaries without the presence of guilt. I love brainspotting for this as opposed to talk therapy. Because talk therapy focuses so much on logic and chances are you're already a very logical person who likes to talk herself out of setting boundaries. With brainspotting, we will focus mostly on emotions and we connect you back to your body. When you're able to identify how emotions affect you, and also heal trauma, it is a lot easier to let go of perfectionism.

Ditch the Superwoman Cape: How to Let Go of Perfectionism and Build Stronger Connections

Do you know the sad thing about superwoman? Everyone loves how strong she is and how she rushes in to save the day. We marvel at how she's able to multitask and save an entire city without breaking a sweat. But do you know that nobody even asks how her shoulders are doing. We don't ask her if she gets enough sleep, if she's tired or if she wants a break. Nobody cares about superwoman's feelings. This is why you need to seriously ditch the cape. You are NOT superwoman. You are just a woman and that is OK. That is what your life needs to look like every single day.

Because superwoman is perfect. And humans cannot relate to people who are perfect. We can only relate to people who are actually human. To build stronger connections it is important to be able to ask for help. It is important to rest sometimes. It's important to let people know when things are too much for you. It's important to cry sometimes. It's important to show people that you have real emotions. It's important for you to know when to move and went to call it quits. When the people around you see that you are indeed functioning like a human, they will hopefully start to treat you like you are human. Because nobody can connect with a perfect person. But we all know what it is to be flawed and real.

Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Relationships: How Brainspotting Therapy Can Help

When you always show up as a perfect friend, it already creates unrealistic expectations. They expect you to never make mistakes, they expect you to always be on point, and they expect you to probably carry the entire relationship on your shoulders. This leads to frustration and strain for not just you, but for your friends as well. It is important to note that you can be a high achieving woman who is not perfect. Because high achieving simply means that you have big goals and you have achieved quite a few things in your life. This means that you work hard and you know where you are trying to go in life.

High achieving does not mean that you are perfect in the way that you implement your goals. And it does not mean that you will achieve every single goal that you have put your mind to. The great thing about brainspotting is that it helps you unlock patterns that have been driving you but no longer work for you. As a high achieving woman in Houston, you probably are an entrepreneur who does multiple businesses. But perfectionism can actually stop you from meeting your business goals. Because sometimes you do not put out content and you do not put out work because it is not perfect. With Brainspotting you will learn exactly why you became a perfectionist and then we can work together to unravel that so that you can function as simply a human- no super woman needed.

Ready to Be Perfectly Imperfect? How Brainspotting Helps You Embrace Your True Self

Imperfections actually make us human. Imperfections can be a way to connect with other people. Because other people have flaws too. So when they see that you have a similar struggle with them, they can partner with you so that you can hold each other accountable. Imperfections are actually just proof that you are human. And if you want to be treated like the human that you are, and if you want people to see you for who you are, then you have to take the bold step to be vulnerable and let people see all of you.

I'm not saying that you have to share all of your life with everyone on social media. All I'm saying is that if you want to truly connect with close friends and loved ones, you have to take off that façade of perfectionism. Because perfectionism can drive them crazy. Sometimes when you're a perfectionist, you expect so much out of your loved ones and they actually cannot give you all the perfection that you need. But when you are human and you allow them to be human too, things are less tense in the relationship. Brainspotting therapy can actually help you connect with the real you. Perhaps the real you is a high-powered, high achieving woman who also likes to be goofy. Perhaps you are a k-drama loving, highly sensitive woman who loves the stock market. Perhaps you are a woman who sometimes burns dinner, but you're also an amazing physician. You can show up as you actually are and people will accept you for who you are.

Are you ready to break free from perfectionism and start building stronger, more meaningful relationships? As a trauma therapist in Houston, I specialize in working with high-performing, highly sensitive women, including Black women, to overcome the perfectionism trap. Through brainspotting therapy, you can release past trauma, set healthier boundaries, and embrace your true self. Book a free 15-minute consultation call today and take the first step toward deeper connection and personal peace.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Why saying “No” feels so hard: The struggle of high performing, highly sensitive women

The Burden of Expectations: Why High-Performing Women Struggle to Say 'No'

When you grow up in a collectivist culture- especially if you are either the oldest child or the oldest daughter, the responsibilities on your shoulder are intense. You are expected to take care of your siblings, take care of your parents, and also look out for extended family members like aunts, uncles and cousins.

Every move you make feels like it is being monitored by the aunties and elders. Everything you do also reflects upon your parents and family. You do everything in your power not to tarnish the family name. You are typically expected to say “How high?” when asked to jump. You are not to complain, and your needs take a backseat to the needs of the collective.

While collectivistic living isn’t all bad, after all you have an entire family who loves you, who spend time with you and who will come running when things go bad, it does feel stifling at times.

Because you are expected to be a good daughter all the time, you naturally will feel bad when you decide not to follow through with the expectations of others. You naturally do want to please your family, friends and community. You don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb or have the rumor mill churning because of you. But you have your own dreams and aspirations and you are unsure of how you can balance them with the needs of your family- without being offensive or rude.

So when you attempt to even set a boundary, you will get push back from everyone around you. Because the expectation is service without complaints.

High Sensitivity and High Achievement: A Double-Edged Sword

When you are highly sensitive, you are a deep thinker AND a deep feeler. When you have a conversation with someone, you are 10 steps ahead. You’re wondering, “How will my behavior affect them?,” “What will they think of me?” While also being her aware about the nuances in their facial expressions, the itchiness of the tag on your shirt, the growl in your tummy and the weird heat in the room.

By the way, no one else is thinking this deeply all the time. It’s just you.

Because you are so aware about how things affect others, you are sensitive about not wanting to hurt others. You feel like you will hurt their feelings if you say “No.” And because you are such a capable, high achieving woman, you tend to think that they will crumble if you don’t help them. When people come to you with their pain, you can sense how strongly and how deep they feel their pain. It hurts you too, and so rather than allowing them to go through their process of healing or problem solving, you jump in every single time.

You then get the reputation as official fixer of all people. This makes you tired, frustrated and a bit resentful that they don’t care about your needs. They are putting their needs above yours.

Understanding the Fear of Disappointment: The Emotional Toll of Saying 'Yes' Too Often

You are so aware of how disappointment affects others that you try hard to never let others down. You hate to see people feel sad or mad. Even when you know you don’t have the time or bandwidth to help others, you jump in to fix their problems anyway. You’ve done this for so long that they almost expect you to put your needs last.

And because you have done it for so long, it feels awkward for you to set a boundary now. But every night, you go to bed exhausted and annoyed that no one checks up on you any longer. They simply call you when they need something and they rarely say thank you any longer- after all your official title is now “Fixer.”

But a small part of you actually enjoys helping others. You are kind and empathetic. You love to see them move from dismay to joy and peace. You also feel validated when people say “You’re so great at helping people.” “What would I have done without you?” “How on earth do you juggle so much?” It strokes your ego a bit.

So you are in a tight spot. On the one hand you enjoy being a helper, but on the other hand, you just want the space to be able to actually take care of yourself.

Strategies for Empowerment: How to Say 'No' Without Guilt or Regret

If the above describes you, let’s talk about how you can maintain your empathy without being run over by others. It is important that you are able to say “No” without thinking you’re a bad person all day.

When someone asks you for help, ask yourself these questions. The answer will tell you what boundary to set.

1) Do I have the time to solve the problem right now?

2) Do I have the bandwidth to solve the problem right now?

3) Do I want to solve the problem right now?

4) Is this person capable of solving this problem on their own?

5) Does this person value me? Will they be there to help me if I needed it?

6) Am I putting my own needs on the backburner right now?

And when you’ve decided you want to say “No,” here are some phrases you can use without actually saying “No.”

1) “I’m not available at this time.'“

2) “That does not work for me.”

3) “I would rather not.”

4) “Let’s pick a later time.”

5) “There is no room on my schedule for that.”

If the person you are setting boundaries with actually respects you and wants to see you thrive, they will be understanding of you. However, if they do not have respect for you, they will definitely push back.

Finding Your Voice: Why Working with a Trauma Therapist in Houston Can Help

If you have gone all your life and have struggled with saying “No,” or if the people around you just do not respect your boundaries, it might be time to have a therapist guide you. As a Black trauma therapist in Houston, I have helped so many women learn how to set clear, kind boundaries with their strong willed relatives and friends.

I get it. You do not want to be rude or burn bridges. I totally get it. Do you know that it is possible to actually set healthy boundaries that allow you to be compassionate with yourself and others? You can put your needs out front, ask for what you want and not be so worried about what others will think about you.

Ready to Reclaim Your Power? Connect with me- a Black Therapist in Houston Today!

It's time to break free from the fear of saying 'no' and embrace your true needs. Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call with me now to start your journey with a trauma therapist who understands your struggles and is here to help you thrive!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Brainspotting for boundary setting:How therapy can help you find your inner ‘No.’

1. The Power of Saying No: How Brainspotting Therapy Helps You Set Healthy Boundaries

When you experience trauma, it could feel like your power and control have been taken away from you. Your voice feels silenced, your body feels weaker, your mind feels unstable. You walk around experiencing fear, you no longer want to engage with the people or places that used to bring you joy. You might end up feeling like a shadow of your former self- or having no knowledge of who you used to be.

This is where a great trauma therapist in Houston can help you. As we work together, you can relearn how to feel safe again, how to get rid of those thoughts that tell you that something bad is going to happen to you again. You can learn how to feel safe in your body again, and most importantly, how to find your voice.

When I use brainspotting to help you get rid of trauma that has been sitting in your body and in your brain, a big part of our work will be learning how to set clear, healthy boundaries that not only keep you safe, but help you connect to safe people around you. You can live life on your terms, stay safe and finally thrive again. A skilled trauma therapist in Houston can help you confidently establish personal boundaries.

2. Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Using Brainspotting to Reclaim Your Voice

Many of my clients are really nice women. I also consider myself to be a compassionate Black therapist in Houston. Now the great thing is that being nice and setting boundaries can coexist quite nicely (pun intended). Many of my clients feel so horrible when they have to say “No” to others. They would much rather sacrifice themselves and be uncomfortable, instead of simply saying “No” and moving on with their day.

I get it.

Because you don’t want anyone to think you are mean or that you don’t care about them. You don’t want to be disliked, challenged or even for someone to be mean to you in retaliation.

The great thing about brainspotting is we can go deeper than traditional talk therapy. So we essentially go into deeper parts of your brain, where the stuck-ness is held and it can help rewire that stuff.

You’ll learn what boundaries you need and how you can establish them regardless of what people think. And yes, you get to keep your kindness. Because boundaries, in my opinion, should be clear AND kind. A compassionate Black therapist in Houston (that’s me!) can guide you to say “No’ without too much guilt.

3. Finding Freedom in Boundaries: How Brainspotting Supports Highly Sensitive People

When you are a high performing, highly sensitive woman, you want to move at a fast pace, so that you can accomplish everything you have going on, but sometimes you might not have the bandwidth to do it all- because your brain spends so much energy deeply processing the world within and around you.

This means that the only choice you have is to learn how to set appropriate boundaries with your time, with your friends, with your coworkers and with yourself. Because if you say “Yes” to all the people about all the things, you will eventually reach a horrible stage of burnout that feels like your shouders being crushed.

So think about boundary setting as a great way to practice kindness to yourself- allowing you the bandwidth to accomplish the things that are actually essential in your life- rather than wasting time of activities that bring you no joy and add nothing to your long term goals.

Brainspotting will help you connect to deeper parts of your brain so that you can remove the blocks that keep you from saying “No.” It could help you learn how to break free from trauma and anxiety that keep you stuck and silenced. The outcome? Boundary setting becomes so much easier for high performing, highly sensitive women like you.

4. Creating Space for Yourself: Brainspotting as a Tool for Healthy Relationship Boundaries

When trauma has been blocking your brain, it feels like you are paralyzed. But once that trauma has been cleared up, you are now ready to begin to redefine the boundaries in your life. If you feel like you are stuck when boundary setting, you could also use brainspotting to help you find your stuck points, so that you can begin to communicate with more clarity.

If you struggle in saying '‘No,” brainspotting can help with that. If you struggle to say what you actually mean, it could help as well. Because without clear, gentle boundaries you’ll continue to feel frustrated.

5. Discover Your Inner “No”: Empowering Boundary Setting with a Trauma Therapist in Houston

A big part of my work of trauma therapy in Houston is teaching you how to empower yourself to set firm boundaries. A firm boundary is one that sticks to the rules. Too tired? Don’t do it. Doesn’t feel nice? Tell them.

A life of freedom isn’t so concerned about what others think. Rather you are concerned about creating health, space and joy in your life. Effective boundary setting respects both you and the people around you. And once you have been able to identify who the safe people in your life are, thing just become easier for you.

With brainspotting, you connect better to your own feelings, without worrying too much about what social norms say you should do. You can still maintain being a respectful and kind person, while honoring your needs. A win win!

Ready to Embrace Your Boundaries? Connect with a Black Therapist in Houston Today

Take the first step toward finding your “No” and nurturing healthier relationships. Start your journey with Brainspotting therapy, designed to help you set empowering boundaries with ease. Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for brainspotting therapy in Houston. I also see clients throughout California.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Virtual Trauma Therapy: How to Heal from Trauma Without Leaving Your Houston Home

Healing from Home in Houston

You’ve been struggling for a while. You’re also curious about starting therapy, but you’re unsure. Do you really have the time to drive through Houston traffic with your already overpacked schedule? Are you ready to hear whatever the therapist has to say? And are you ready to put in the work? The process of finding a great therapist in Houston can be daunting, but once you’ve found the right one, your life will change. I guarantee it.

If time and traffic constraints are keeping you from seeking therapy, I present to you that virtual trauma therapy in Houston is a convenient and effective solution for you.

No office visits, no parking issues, no being stuck in traffic. All you need is an electronic device, internet access and a willing heart. Boom!

What is Virtual Trauma Therapy? A Modern Approach to Healing

Virtual trauma therapy is essentially therapy using the internet. Some therapists do phone sessions, while others add a video component to it. I prefer real-time video sessions because I can see you, you can see me and it feels like a regular conversation.

And once we add the layer of groundbreaking trauma therapy like brainspotting, it works amazingly over video. In fact, I received all my brainspotting trainings through video. That way I am sure that it’ll work for you.

After the pandemic of 2020, most therapists had to take a crash course in virtual therapy. Although prior to the pandemic I was already conducting both phone and video sessions. But after the pandemic hit, it was clear that we therapists had to figure out how to provide effective care to our clients regardless of whatever is going on in society. The great part about it is that it is not only convenient for you, it’s just as effective as in person therapy.

Benefits of Virtual Trauma Therapy for High-Performing Women

I love virtual sessions because they are flexible. I’ve had clients attend sessions while in their cars, in their bedrooms, in their kitchens, in between meetings, in hotel rooms, and at work. There is sometimes a fear that occurs when you are entering a therapist’s space. It is already dffiicult enough to open up and trust a therapist you’ve just met, let’s not add another barrier to it.

Highly sensitive women are especially vulnerable to their environments. Something as small as the smell of the therapist’s perfume or the rough texture of the couch can distract them from their own personal healing. Wouldn’t it be great for you to work on healing within our own safe space?

When I was only offering in person therapy sessions, location and distance were huge barriers. Some clients didn’t have reliable transportation, they had other life responsibilities that got in the way or they just couldn’t fit therapy into their busy schedules. With virtual therapy you’re saving probably about 30 minutes-1 hour each session, depending on the therapist’s distance to your home or place of employment.

I love that my clients can dress comfortably while they remain in the comfort of their own environment. You can snuggle up in your bonnet, with your favorite blanket, while wearing house shoes and drinking from your favorite mug. All of these things not only give you comfort but they provide space for you to open up in therapy. An open, comfortable client will receive better results than one who is struggling to open up.

How Brainspotting Works in a Virtual Setting

Brainspotting primarily focuses on eye gaze. When we do brainspotting online, because your field of vision is limited to the size of the screen, it allows you to really focus on the work. All the distractions that would have come from my office (the couch, the rug, my diffuser, items on my wall, smells, sounds) are gone. This way you can focus more on the work of processing trauma and engaging.

Some clients worry that virtual therapy is not as effective as in person therapy. Well that isn’t true. Because I am using the exact same skills and training to guide you. It’s just like saying you are unable to communicate with your loved ones because you’re talking through FaceTime.

When I utilize virtual brainspotting, I can actually focus on your brainspot a lot easier because I simply mark it on my computer screen. When we are in person, It is almost impossible for me to keep my hand so steady for an entire hour and move it to the brainspot you identified. If you’ve ever attended a brainspotting, all of this will sound like gibberish to you. That’s okay.

What to Expect in Your First Virtual Trauma Therapy Session

To prepare for a virtual brainspotting session or a virtual trauma therapy session, think about location. As long as you have a device that has access to the internet, and a place that offers some sort of privacy, you’re good to go. If you’re attending therapy in your busy living room, the entire family will be listening in on your business and they might be tempted to chime in. I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.

So pick a space where you can be focused and alone for about an hour. Emotionally, you don’t really have to do much. Brainspotting doesn’t involve any pre-work or preparation. Come with a willing, curious heart.

For maximum effectiveness, make sure you are comfortable in your environment. Prop your phone or device up so that you don’t have to tilt your neck in session and your hands can be free. I also advice that you bring a glass of water, some tissues (because tears happen in therapy) and a comfort object if you need one. Shoes are optional- wear them or don’t. It’s up to you. I will only be able to see you from about the chest up.

During the session, let go of distractions like the TV, place your devices on silent or do not disturb and let the people in your home or office know that you need about 1 hour of uninterrupted time.

Finding the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for Virtual Sessions

It is important to note that not every therapist provides brainspotting or virtual therapy. So if you're specifically looking for someone who does brainspotting, you would have to ask them if they're open to virtual brainspotting. Another thing that you can ask them is if they have actually conducted virtual brainspotting sessions and how it has gone for them. It is also important to note that not every trauma therapist has been trained in brainspotting. It is a science backed game changing form of therapy that actually helps you heal trauma from the deeper levels of your brain. The results? A life free from fear, avoidance and the dissociation that trauma causes.

After you have found a brainspotting therapist in Houston who offers virtual therapy, it is also important to ask yourself what else you need. Think of the therapist’s age, gender, religious background, personality and also cost. How much are you willing to invest? I do have to say that in the long run, brainspotting tends to save you more money because your trauma heals fast and you will be attending fewer sessions than if you were only to attend talk therapy. As a high-performing woman I know you enjoyed value for money as well as efficiency. You don't have time to waste.

As a high performer or highly sensitive woman, ensure that your therapist is knowledgable about your unique needs. Scour their website or directory profile to find out if they make mention of these terms. And when you meet with them for a consultation, ask them directly if they understand your unique needs.

Embrace the Power of Virtual Trauma Therapy

I love brainspotting. I especially love that I am able to help my clients heal their brains and their bodies from the comfort of their own homes and offices. We all know that Houston traffic can be crazy, so don't get involved in it if you don’t have to. Find a great brainspotting therapist who can help you heal trauma and anxiety without leaving your own comfortable environment. Support is just a click away and healing can happen in the comfort of your own space.

Start Your Healing Journey with Virtual Trauma Therapy in Houston!
Are you a high-performing woman ready to heal from trauma without leaving your home? Experience the transformative power of virtual brainspotting therapy! Click here to schedule your free 15-min consultation call for trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward a healthier, happier you!"

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

How Brainspotting Therapy Helps High-Performing Women Heal from Trauma

When you are a busy high performing woman, your life moves at a fast pace. There are lots of things to do and many goals to accomplish. Sometimes you don’t think you have the time to attend to your own emotional needs- which is a source of continued pain for you. The great thing about brainspotting for trauma is that it could fit right into your schedule. Unlike regular talk therapy, you don’t have to spend years and years in therapy. Brainspotting is a fast, effective, yet gentle way to experience relief from trauma and anxiety. And it does not have to disrupt your busy schedule.

What is Brainspotting? The Secret Weapon of a Trauma Therapist in Houston

Brainspotting therapy is an innovative and science-based approach to trauma and anxiety recovery. It actually has many applications outside of trauma and anxiety. Unlike traditional trauma therapy that might take years to complete or involve talking about the intricate details of trauma, brainspotting focuses on your eye gaze. As your therapist asks you to focus on a specific point, the therapy actually targets the areas of your brain where trauma gets trapped. Once you are able to do this, you can finally digest the trauma,

The result? Freedom from trauma. No more irritability, tears, fear, avoidance and dissociation.

As a trauma therapist in Houston, I use brainspotting to help you heal trauma much more effectively than if you were to spend 2 years talking about the details of your trauma each week. A lot of clients come to me because they have tried all the talk therapy, read all the books, and it just didn’t seem to work for them. I love brainspotting because it is gentle, fast and gets the job done. Translation? It could help save you money in the long run.

I personally stopped using talk therapy to treat my clients’ trauma because it felt like I was only traumatizing them more. My goal as a therapist is to be kind while being efficient.

Challenges of High Performing Women

As a high performing woman you most likely feel proud of all your accomplishments and accolades, however the down side is that all the years of hard work have possibly lead you to burn out. Juggling multiple projects regularly, tending to the needs of others and frankly, not having much time for yourself can leave you feeling worn out. Many high performing women also end up chasing the never stopping perfectionism train. You do all things with excellence, however you’re not sure when enough is enough.

As if all the above isn’t difficult enough to deal with, when we stack on an additional layer of trauma, you feel like you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

The great thing is that with the right brainspotting trauma therapist, we can rewire your brain so that you stop chasing perfection, learn how to slow down and learn how to set boundaries so that you’re not constantly trying to put everyone’s needs above yours.

Imagine how freeing that is.

Why Brainspotting is Ideal for High-Performing Women

I know you love efficiency and quality. I also know you tend to put your needs last. You’ve thought about seeking therapy, but you’re not sure if you have the time or if you should make such a financial investment. I love brainspotting because it cuts down the time in therapy compared to traditional talk therapy.

It also gets the job done. While talk therapists might spend months with you, and still be unable to help you access deep layers of your brain, a brainspotting therapist can do the job in just a few sessions.

Brainspotting is great for busy high performing women because there’s no need for prep work or pre-work. We jump right in. In my case, we’ll start the actual brainspotting in session 2. It’s great for someone who might not want to do a whole lot of talking or provide a lengthy back story. It’s also great if you are ready to begin the healing process now. Because brainspotting actually works on the deep layers of your brain where trauma lives, targeting those layers helps you finally heal from trauma.

We’re not just putting a bandage on the wound. We are actually healing trauma.

The great thing is that brainspotting is flexible. As a trauma therapist in Houston, I can customize the brainspotting work depending on what you need. We focus on the issues that are most pressing or troublesome in your life so you can start to feel the relief early on.

What to Expect During Your Brainspotting Session: A Journey Tailored for You

Most people are usually apprehensive during the first session. That’s okay. Your first brainspotting session does not need any fancy bells and whistles. We’ll work together to choose the issue that you want to focus on. I’ll guide you to find the point in which you need to look at. You’ll be asked what emotion is coming up for you, where the emotion sits in your body, then I’ll give you the space to begin to process the memories and thoughts that will rise to the surface. You’ll notice something happening really quickly. It will feel like a quick rush of emotion, but towards the end of the session, you might feel your body begin to calm down.

The great thing about brainspotting trauma therapy for a busy woman like you is that you do not have to spend time driving up and down Houston traffic. We can do it virtually from the comfort of your own home, car or office. You decide.

Finding the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for Brainspotting

The first step is finding the right trauma therapist in Houston. Brainspotting is a unique specialty, so most therapists in Houston aren’t familiar with it. The first step is to ask your prospective therapist if they are trained in brainspotting.

To find a brainspotting trauma therapist, you can do a Google search, use a therapist directory or even ask friends and family for a referral. Once you get a few names, I suggest going to the therapists’ website to find out more about them.

Think about what you want in an ideal therapist. Think of age, personality, gender, religion, virtual vs in person, cost, and what specific issues they are great at. All of these things matter.

Once you are done writing this out, focus on 3-4 therapists who fit the bill. The next step would be to schedule a consultation call. This will allow you to hear their voice, find out more about how they work, and decide if they are indeed a great fit for you. Don’t overthink this part. Just go with your gut.

If you are looking for a quick, but gentle path to healing from trauma, perfectionism or burn out, brainspotting could help.

High-performing women, it’s time to reclaim your peace! Discover how brainspotting therapy can help you heal from trauma and thrive. Click here to schedule your free consultation call for trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward a brighter future!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

What to Expect from Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist in Houston

Therapy is super common these days, however it’s absolutely normal if you feel apprehensive or nervous before reaching out to a therapist. After all, there is a level of trust you have to have in this stranger. But once you find the right therapist for you, you have a world of healing ahead of you.

I encourage you to vet your therapist well before diving in with them.

If you have been carrying around the baggage of trauma, I strongly encourage you to find yourself a trauma therapist in Houston. Why? because not all therapists are trained to work with trauma.

And the right trauma therapist will help you process, digest and finally get rid of the trauma that has been holding you back.

If you do not want to be in therapy long term, then I have a treat for you. I specialize in brainspotting therapy- an innovative, efficient and gentle way of healing your brain from trauma without having to do too much talking or retraumatizing yourself.

The Warm Welcome: Meeting Your Trauma Therapist in Houston

Once you have gone through a few therapists’ website or online profiles, select about 3 who resonate strongly with you. Ensure that their websites actually mention trauma and/or brainspotting.

Schedule a consultation call so that you can get your questions answered before your first session.

On to the first session

If you are signed up for virtual therapy (in my opinion, it’s just as effective as in person therapy), show up as you would if you were going into the therapist’s office.

Be comfy. Bring a notebook and a pen if you want to, and always bring some water in case you get thirsty. Some people show up in their bonnets, with a blanket or in their pajamas.

I’m cool with all of it.

Understanding Your Story: The First Step in Trauma Therapy

During our first session, we’ll be getting to know each other better. You’ll get a sense of how I talk, how I work and I’ll get your background story- so to speak.

I’ll be asking about your symptoms, physical and emotional health, family background, past experiences in therapy, your sleep, trauma experiences, social relationships, intimate relationships, and a lot more. This will help me tailor therapy for you. No cookie cutter here.

By the end of the first session, you will probably have a good sense for whether or not we are actually a fit. If you decide you want to continue on, then we’ll schedule another session. If not, I’ll hopefully help you find someone who is a better fit for you.

Towards the end of the first session, we will work together to pinpoint about 2 to 3 goals of therapy. You can pick whatever you want and it’s flexible. You can always change your goals.

Trauma therapy is a lot less scary than it sounds. It’s simply just a time to help you begin to clear out some of the traumatic memories that have been sitting in your body and your brain so that you can feel free and unhindered.

Introducing Brainspotting: How It Fits into Trauma Therapy

During the second session, it’ll be time to jump into brainspotting- a powerful technique for processing trauma.

In a nutshell, brainspotting is essentially gently going into the deep layers of your brain where trauma and strong emotions are stored, allowing you to access those emotions and digest them.

Because we are able to access deep layers of the brain, it reduces the total amount of time you’ll spend in therapy. It is powerful and efficient.

As we continue on our brainspotting trauma therapy journey together, I’ll continue to check in with you to see how you’re feeling. Are you sleeping okay? Do you have any physical symptoms? Tiredness maybe? Do you feel like you are beginning to clear out the trauma?

Are there any other areas you would like to touch on in session?

I am a pro at catering to the specific needs of women in Houston. Typically, in addition to trauma therapy, many of my clients want to work on building back their self esteem, learning how to establish firm, but kind boundaries with themselves and others, as well as establishing safe, healthy relationships. We can do all that.

Feeling Comfortable and Supported with Your Trauma Therapist in Houston

Remember that therapy is a process. You might not feel completely healed after the first or second session, but as you continue to be open to the process, you will feel relieved.

During the first few sessions, you are also getting to know your therapist better. It’s okay if you feel shy or awkward at first.

Brainspotting can feel difficult at first, but there is no type of healing that comes without a little bit of a challenge.

If you are looking for a quicker non-invasive way to heal trauma, consider connecting with a brainspotting trauma therapist in Houston.

Ready to start your healing journey with a trusted trauma therapist in Houston? Schedule your free consultation call with me for trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward reclaiming your life!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.