Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA & TX
Why saying “No” feels so hard: The struggle of high performing, highly sensitive women
Struggling to say “no”? High-performing, highly sensitive women often face pressure to meet everyone’s expectations, leading to burnout and resentment. This blog unpacks why “no” feels so hard and offers empowering strategies to set loving boundaries and reclaim your energy and personal power.
The Burden of Expectations: Why High-Performing Women Struggle to Say 'No'
When you grow up in a collectivist culture- especially if you are either the oldest child or the oldest daughter, the responsibilities on your shoulder are intense. You are expected to take care of your siblings, take care of your parents, and also look out for extended family members like aunts, uncles and cousins.
Every move you make feels like it is being monitored by the aunties and elders. Everything you do also reflects upon your parents and family. You do everything in your power not to tarnish the family name. You are typically expected to say “How high?” when asked to jump. You are not to complain, and your needs take a backseat to the needs of the collective.
While collectivistic living isn’t all bad, after all you have an entire family who loves you, who spend time with you and who will come running when things go bad, it does feel stifling at times.
Because you are expected to be a good daughter all the time, you naturally will feel bad when you decide not to follow through with the expectations of others. You naturally do want to please your family, friends and community. You don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb or have the rumor mill churning because of you. But you have your own dreams and aspirations and you are unsure of how you can balance them with the needs of your family- without being offensive or rude.
So when you attempt to even set a boundary, you will get push back from everyone around you. Because the expectation is service without complaints.
High Sensitivity and High Achievement: A Double-Edged Sword
When you are highly sensitive, you are a deep thinker AND a deep feeler. When you have a conversation with someone, you are 10 steps ahead. You’re wondering, “How will my behavior affect them?,” “What will they think of me?” While also being her aware about the nuances in their facial expressions, the itchiness of the tag on your shirt, the growl in your tummy and the weird heat in the room.
By the way, no one else is thinking this deeply all the time. It’s just you.
Because you are so aware about how things affect others, you are sensitive about not wanting to hurt others. You feel like you will hurt their feelings if you say “No.” And because you are such a capable, high achieving woman, you tend to think that they will crumble if you don’t help them. When people come to you with their pain, you can sense how strongly and how deep they feel their pain. It hurts you too, and so rather than allowing them to go through their process of healing or problem solving, you jump in every single time.
You then get the reputation as official fixer of all people. This makes you tired, frustrated and a bit resentful that they don’t care about your needs. They are putting their needs above yours.
Understanding the Fear of Disappointment: The Emotional Toll of Saying 'Yes' Too Often
You are so aware of how disappointment affects others that you try hard to never let others down. You hate to see people feel sad or mad. Even when you know you don’t have the time or bandwidth to help others, you jump in to fix their problems anyway. You’ve done this for so long that they almost expect you to put your needs last.
And because you have done it for so long, it feels awkward for you to set a boundary now. But every night, you go to bed exhausted and annoyed that no one checks up on you any longer. They simply call you when they need something and they rarely say thank you any longer- after all your official title is now “Fixer.”
But a small part of you actually enjoys helping others. You are kind and empathetic. You love to see them move from dismay to joy and peace. You also feel validated when people say “You’re so great at helping people.” “What would I have done without you?” “How on earth do you juggle so much?” It strokes your ego a bit.
So you are in a tight spot. On the one hand you enjoy being a helper, but on the other hand, you just want the space to be able to actually take care of yourself.
Strategies for Empowerment: How to Say 'No' Without Guilt or Regret
If the above describes you, let’s talk about how you can maintain your empathy without being run over by others. It is important that you are able to say “No” without thinking you’re a bad person all day.
When someone asks you for help, ask yourself these questions. The answer will tell you what boundary to set.
1) Do I have the time to solve the problem right now?
2) Do I have the bandwidth to solve the problem right now?
3) Do I want to solve the problem right now?
4) Is this person capable of solving this problem on their own?
5) Does this person value me? Will they be there to help me if I needed it?
6) Am I putting my own needs on the backburner right now?
And when you’ve decided you want to say “No,” here are some phrases you can use without actually saying “No.”
1) “I’m not available at this time.'“
2) “That does not work for me.”
3) “I would rather not.”
4) “Let’s pick a later time.”
5) “There is no room on my schedule for that.”
If the person you are setting boundaries with actually respects you and wants to see you thrive, they will be understanding of you. However, if they do not have respect for you, they will definitely push back.
Finding Your Voice: Why Working with a Trauma Therapist in Houston Can Help
If you have gone all your life and have struggled with saying “No,” or if the people around you just do not respect your boundaries, it might be time to have a therapist guide you. As a Black trauma therapist in Houston, I have helped so many women learn how to set clear, kind boundaries with their strong willed relatives and friends.
I get it. You do not want to be rude or burn bridges. I totally get it. Do you know that it is possible to actually set healthy boundaries that allow you to be compassionate with yourself and others? You can put your needs out front, ask for what you want and not be so worried about what others will think about you.
Ready to Reclaim Your Power? Connect with me- a Black Therapist in Houston Today!
It's time to break free from the fear of saying 'no' and embrace your true needs. Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call with me now to start your journey with a trauma therapist who understands your struggles and is here to help you thrive!
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Brainspotting for boundary setting:How therapy can help you find your inner ‘No.’
Discover how Brainspotting therapy empowers high-performing, highly sensitive women to set loving boundaries. Learn to find your inner 'No' without guilt and stand firm in your personal power, as this gentle yet effective trauma therapy helps you break free from people-pleasing habits.
1. The Power of Saying No: How Brainspotting Therapy Helps You Set Healthy Boundaries
When you experience trauma, it could feel like your power and control have been taken away from you. Your voice feels silenced, your body feels weaker, your mind feels unstable. You walk around experiencing fear, you no longer want to engage with the people or places that used to bring you joy. You might end up feeling like a shadow of your former self- or having no knowledge of who you used to be.
This is where a great trauma therapist in Houston can help you. As we work together, you can relearn how to feel safe again, how to get rid of those thoughts that tell you that something bad is going to happen to you again. You can learn how to feel safe in your body again, and most importantly, how to find your voice.
When I use brainspotting to help you get rid of trauma that has been sitting in your body and in your brain, a big part of our work will be learning how to set clear, healthy boundaries that not only keep you safe, but help you connect to safe people around you. You can live life on your terms, stay safe and finally thrive again. A skilled trauma therapist in Houston can help you confidently establish personal boundaries.
2. Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Using Brainspotting to Reclaim Your Voice
Many of my clients are really nice women. I also consider myself to be a compassionate Black therapist in Houston. Now the great thing is that being nice and setting boundaries can coexist quite nicely (pun intended). Many of my clients feel so horrible when they have to say “No” to others. They would much rather sacrifice themselves and be uncomfortable, instead of simply saying “No” and moving on with their day.
I get it.
Because you don’t want anyone to think you are mean or that you don’t care about them. You don’t want to be disliked, challenged or even for someone to be mean to you in retaliation.
The great thing about brainspotting is we can go deeper than traditional talk therapy. So we essentially go into deeper parts of your brain, where the stuck-ness is held and it can help rewire that stuff.
You’ll learn what boundaries you need and how you can establish them regardless of what people think. And yes, you get to keep your kindness. Because boundaries, in my opinion, should be clear AND kind. A compassionate Black therapist in Houston (that’s me!) can guide you to say “No’ without too much guilt.
3. Finding Freedom in Boundaries: How Brainspotting Supports Highly Sensitive People
When you are a high performing, highly sensitive woman, you want to move at a fast pace, so that you can accomplish everything you have going on, but sometimes you might not have the bandwidth to do it all- because your brain spends so much energy deeply processing the world within and around you.
This means that the only choice you have is to learn how to set appropriate boundaries with your time, with your friends, with your coworkers and with yourself. Because if you say “Yes” to all the people about all the things, you will eventually reach a horrible stage of burnout that feels like your shouders being crushed.
So think about boundary setting as a great way to practice kindness to yourself- allowing you the bandwidth to accomplish the things that are actually essential in your life- rather than wasting time of activities that bring you no joy and add nothing to your long term goals.
Brainspotting will help you connect to deeper parts of your brain so that you can remove the blocks that keep you from saying “No.” It could help you learn how to break free from trauma and anxiety that keep you stuck and silenced. The outcome? Boundary setting becomes so much easier for high performing, highly sensitive women like you.
4. Creating Space for Yourself: Brainspotting as a Tool for Healthy Relationship Boundaries
When trauma has been blocking your brain, it feels like you are paralyzed. But once that trauma has been cleared up, you are now ready to begin to redefine the boundaries in your life. If you feel like you are stuck when boundary setting, you could also use brainspotting to help you find your stuck points, so that you can begin to communicate with more clarity.
If you struggle in saying '‘No,” brainspotting can help with that. If you struggle to say what you actually mean, it could help as well. Because without clear, gentle boundaries you’ll continue to feel frustrated.
5. Discover Your Inner “No”: Empowering Boundary Setting with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
A big part of my work of trauma therapy in Houston is teaching you how to empower yourself to set firm boundaries. A firm boundary is one that sticks to the rules. Too tired? Don’t do it. Doesn’t feel nice? Tell them.
A life of freedom isn’t so concerned about what others think. Rather you are concerned about creating health, space and joy in your life. Effective boundary setting respects both you and the people around you. And once you have been able to identify who the safe people in your life are, thing just become easier for you.
With brainspotting, you connect better to your own feelings, without worrying too much about what social norms say you should do. You can still maintain being a respectful and kind person, while honoring your needs. A win win!
Ready to Embrace Your Boundaries? Connect with a Black Therapist in Houston Today
Take the first step toward finding your “No” and nurturing healthier relationships. Start your journey with Brainspotting therapy, designed to help you set empowering boundaries with ease. Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for brainspotting therapy in Houston. I also see clients throughout California.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Virtual Trauma Therapy: How to Heal from Trauma Without Leaving Your Houston Home
Heal your trauma from the comfort of your home with virtual therapy. As a trauma therapist in Houston, I specialize in brainspotting, a powerful and gentle approach to help high-performing and highly sensitive women overcome trauma. Experience effective trauma recovery without the commute. Schedule a free consultation today and start your healing journey.
Healing from Home in Houston
You’ve been struggling for a while. You’re also curious about starting therapy, but you’re unsure. Do you really have the time to drive through Houston traffic with your already overpacked schedule? Are you ready to hear whatever the therapist has to say? And are you ready to put in the work? The process of finding a great therapist in Houston can be daunting, but once you’ve found the right one, your life will change. I guarantee it.
If time and traffic constraints are keeping you from seeking therapy, I present to you that virtual trauma therapy in Houston is a convenient and effective solution for you.
No office visits, no parking issues, no being stuck in traffic. All you need is an electronic device, internet access and a willing heart. Boom!
What is Virtual Trauma Therapy? A Modern Approach to Healing
Virtual trauma therapy is essentially therapy using the internet. Some therapists do phone sessions, while others add a video component to it. I prefer real-time video sessions because I can see you, you can see me and it feels like a regular conversation.
And once we add the layer of groundbreaking trauma therapy like brainspotting, it works amazingly over video. In fact, I received all my brainspotting trainings through video. That way I am sure that it’ll work for you.
After the pandemic of 2020, most therapists had to take a crash course in virtual therapy. Although prior to the pandemic I was already conducting both phone and video sessions. But after the pandemic hit, it was clear that we therapists had to figure out how to provide effective care to our clients regardless of whatever is going on in society. The great part about it is that it is not only convenient for you, it’s just as effective as in person therapy.
Benefits of Virtual Trauma Therapy for High-Performing Women
I love virtual sessions because they are flexible. I’ve had clients attend sessions while in their cars, in their bedrooms, in their kitchens, in between meetings, in hotel rooms, and at work. There is sometimes a fear that occurs when you are entering a therapist’s space. It is already dffiicult enough to open up and trust a therapist you’ve just met, let’s not add another barrier to it.
Highly sensitive women are especially vulnerable to their environments. Something as small as the smell of the therapist’s perfume or the rough texture of the couch can distract them from their own personal healing. Wouldn’t it be great for you to work on healing within our own safe space?
When I was only offering in person therapy sessions, location and distance were huge barriers. Some clients didn’t have reliable transportation, they had other life responsibilities that got in the way or they just couldn’t fit therapy into their busy schedules. With virtual therapy you’re saving probably about 30 minutes-1 hour each session, depending on the therapist’s distance to your home or place of employment.
I love that my clients can dress comfortably while they remain in the comfort of their own environment. You can snuggle up in your bonnet, with your favorite blanket, while wearing house shoes and drinking from your favorite mug. All of these things not only give you comfort but they provide space for you to open up in therapy. An open, comfortable client will receive better results than one who is struggling to open up.
How Brainspotting Works in a Virtual Setting
Brainspotting primarily focuses on eye gaze. When we do brainspotting online, because your field of vision is limited to the size of the screen, it allows you to really focus on the work. All the distractions that would have come from my office (the couch, the rug, my diffuser, items on my wall, smells, sounds) are gone. This way you can focus more on the work of processing trauma and engaging.
Some clients worry that virtual therapy is not as effective as in person therapy. Well that isn’t true. Because I am using the exact same skills and training to guide you. It’s just like saying you are unable to communicate with your loved ones because you’re talking through FaceTime.
When I utilize virtual brainspotting, I can actually focus on your brainspot a lot easier because I simply mark it on my computer screen. When we are in person, It is almost impossible for me to keep my hand so steady for an entire hour and move it to the brainspot you identified. If you’ve ever attended a brainspotting, all of this will sound like gibberish to you. That’s okay.
What to Expect in Your First Virtual Trauma Therapy Session
To prepare for a virtual brainspotting session or a virtual trauma therapy session, think about location. As long as you have a device that has access to the internet, and a place that offers some sort of privacy, you’re good to go. If you’re attending therapy in your busy living room, the entire family will be listening in on your business and they might be tempted to chime in. I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.
So pick a space where you can be focused and alone for about an hour. Emotionally, you don’t really have to do much. Brainspotting doesn’t involve any pre-work or preparation. Come with a willing, curious heart.
For maximum effectiveness, make sure you are comfortable in your environment. Prop your phone or device up so that you don’t have to tilt your neck in session and your hands can be free. I also advice that you bring a glass of water, some tissues (because tears happen in therapy) and a comfort object if you need one. Shoes are optional- wear them or don’t. It’s up to you. I will only be able to see you from about the chest up.
During the session, let go of distractions like the TV, place your devices on silent or do not disturb and let the people in your home or office know that you need about 1 hour of uninterrupted time.
Finding the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for Virtual Sessions
It is important to note that not every therapist provides brainspotting or virtual therapy. So if you're specifically looking for someone who does brainspotting, you would have to ask them if they're open to virtual brainspotting. Another thing that you can ask them is if they have actually conducted virtual brainspotting sessions and how it has gone for them. It is also important to note that not every trauma therapist has been trained in brainspotting. It is a science backed game changing form of therapy that actually helps you heal trauma from the deeper levels of your brain. The results? A life free from fear, avoidance and the dissociation that trauma causes.
After you have found a brainspotting therapist in Houston who offers virtual therapy, it is also important to ask yourself what else you need. Think of the therapist’s age, gender, religious background, personality and also cost. How much are you willing to invest? I do have to say that in the long run, brainspotting tends to save you more money because your trauma heals fast and you will be attending fewer sessions than if you were only to attend talk therapy. As a high-performing woman I know you enjoyed value for money as well as efficiency. You don't have time to waste.
As a high performer or highly sensitive woman, ensure that your therapist is knowledgable about your unique needs. Scour their website or directory profile to find out if they make mention of these terms. And when you meet with them for a consultation, ask them directly if they understand your unique needs.
Embrace the Power of Virtual Trauma Therapy
I love brainspotting. I especially love that I am able to help my clients heal their brains and their bodies from the comfort of their own homes and offices. We all know that Houston traffic can be crazy, so don't get involved in it if you don’t have to. Find a great brainspotting therapist who can help you heal trauma and anxiety without leaving your own comfortable environment. Support is just a click away and healing can happen in the comfort of your own space.
Start Your Healing Journey with Virtual Trauma Therapy in Houston!
Are you a high-performing woman ready to heal from trauma without leaving your home? Experience the transformative power of virtual brainspotting therapy! Click here to schedule your free 15-min consultation call for trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward a healthier, happier you!"
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
How Brainspotting Therapy Helps High-Performing Women Heal from Trauma
Discover how brainspotting therapy helps high-performing women in Houston heal from trauma quickly and gently. As a trauma therapist in Houston, I specialize in guiding women through deep emotional healing, addressing anxiety, burnout, and unresolved trauma. Ready to reclaim your life? Schedule your virtual session today!
When you are a busy high performing woman, your life moves at a fast pace. There are lots of things to do and many goals to accomplish. Sometimes you don’t think you have the time to attend to your own emotional needs- which is a source of continued pain for you. The great thing about brainspotting for trauma is that it could fit right into your schedule. Unlike regular talk therapy, you don’t have to spend years and years in therapy. Brainspotting is a fast, effective, yet gentle way to experience relief from trauma and anxiety. And it does not have to disrupt your busy schedule.
What is Brainspotting? The Secret Weapon of a Trauma Therapist in Houston
Brainspotting therapy is an innovative and science-based approach to trauma and anxiety recovery. It actually has many applications outside of trauma and anxiety. Unlike traditional trauma therapy that might take years to complete or involve talking about the intricate details of trauma, brainspotting focuses on your eye gaze. As your therapist asks you to focus on a specific point, the therapy actually targets the areas of your brain where trauma gets trapped. Once you are able to do this, you can finally digest the trauma,
The result? Freedom from trauma. No more irritability, tears, fear, avoidance and dissociation.
As a trauma therapist in Houston, I use brainspotting to help you heal trauma much more effectively than if you were to spend 2 years talking about the details of your trauma each week. A lot of clients come to me because they have tried all the talk therapy, read all the books, and it just didn’t seem to work for them. I love brainspotting because it is gentle, fast and gets the job done. Translation? It could help save you money in the long run.
I personally stopped using talk therapy to treat my clients’ trauma because it felt like I was only traumatizing them more. My goal as a therapist is to be kind while being efficient.
Challenges of High Performing Women
As a high performing woman you most likely feel proud of all your accomplishments and accolades, however the down side is that all the years of hard work have possibly lead you to burn out. Juggling multiple projects regularly, tending to the needs of others and frankly, not having much time for yourself can leave you feeling worn out. Many high performing women also end up chasing the never stopping perfectionism train. You do all things with excellence, however you’re not sure when enough is enough.
As if all the above isn’t difficult enough to deal with, when we stack on an additional layer of trauma, you feel like you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
The great thing is that with the right brainspotting trauma therapist, we can rewire your brain so that you stop chasing perfection, learn how to slow down and learn how to set boundaries so that you’re not constantly trying to put everyone’s needs above yours.
Imagine how freeing that is.
Why Brainspotting is Ideal for High-Performing Women
I know you love efficiency and quality. I also know you tend to put your needs last. You’ve thought about seeking therapy, but you’re not sure if you have the time or if you should make such a financial investment. I love brainspotting because it cuts down the time in therapy compared to traditional talk therapy.
It also gets the job done. While talk therapists might spend months with you, and still be unable to help you access deep layers of your brain, a brainspotting therapist can do the job in just a few sessions.
Brainspotting is great for busy high performing women because there’s no need for prep work or pre-work. We jump right in. In my case, we’ll start the actual brainspotting in session 2. It’s great for someone who might not want to do a whole lot of talking or provide a lengthy back story. It’s also great if you are ready to begin the healing process now. Because brainspotting actually works on the deep layers of your brain where trauma lives, targeting those layers helps you finally heal from trauma.
We’re not just putting a bandage on the wound. We are actually healing trauma.
The great thing is that brainspotting is flexible. As a trauma therapist in Houston, I can customize the brainspotting work depending on what you need. We focus on the issues that are most pressing or troublesome in your life so you can start to feel the relief early on.
What to Expect During Your Brainspotting Session: A Journey Tailored for You
Most people are usually apprehensive during the first session. That’s okay. Your first brainspotting session does not need any fancy bells and whistles. We’ll work together to choose the issue that you want to focus on. I’ll guide you to find the point in which you need to look at. You’ll be asked what emotion is coming up for you, where the emotion sits in your body, then I’ll give you the space to begin to process the memories and thoughts that will rise to the surface. You’ll notice something happening really quickly. It will feel like a quick rush of emotion, but towards the end of the session, you might feel your body begin to calm down.
The great thing about brainspotting trauma therapy for a busy woman like you is that you do not have to spend time driving up and down Houston traffic. We can do it virtually from the comfort of your own home, car or office. You decide.
Finding the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for Brainspotting
The first step is finding the right trauma therapist in Houston. Brainspotting is a unique specialty, so most therapists in Houston aren’t familiar with it. The first step is to ask your prospective therapist if they are trained in brainspotting.
To find a brainspotting trauma therapist, you can do a Google search, use a therapist directory or even ask friends and family for a referral. Once you get a few names, I suggest going to the therapists’ website to find out more about them.
Think about what you want in an ideal therapist. Think of age, personality, gender, religion, virtual vs in person, cost, and what specific issues they are great at. All of these things matter.
Once you are done writing this out, focus on 3-4 therapists who fit the bill. The next step would be to schedule a consultation call. This will allow you to hear their voice, find out more about how they work, and decide if they are indeed a great fit for you. Don’t overthink this part. Just go with your gut.
If you are looking for a quick, but gentle path to healing from trauma, perfectionism or burn out, brainspotting could help.
High-performing women, it’s time to reclaim your peace! Discover how brainspotting therapy can help you heal from trauma and thrive. Click here to schedule your free consultation call for trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward a brighter future!
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.
What to Expect from Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
Therapy is super common these days, however it’s absolutely normal if you feel apprehensive or nervous before reaching out to a therapist. After all, there is a level of trust you have to have in this stranger. But once you find the right therapist for you, you have a world of healing ahead of you.
I encourage you to vet your therapist well before diving in with them.
If you have been carrying around the baggage of trauma, I strongly encourage you to find yourself a trauma therapist in Houston. Why? because not all therapists are trained to work with trauma.
And the right trauma therapist will help you process, digest and finally get rid of the trauma that has been holding you back.
If you do not want to be in therapy long term, then I have a treat for you. I specialize in brainspotting therapy- an innovative, efficient and gentle way of healing your brain from trauma without having to do too much talking or retraumatizing yourself.
The Warm Welcome: Meeting Your Trauma Therapist in Houston
Once you have gone through a few therapists’ website or online profiles, select about 3 who resonate strongly with you. Ensure that their websites actually mention trauma and/or brainspotting.
Schedule a consultation call so that you can get your questions answered before your first session.
On to the first session
If you are signed up for virtual therapy (in my opinion, it’s just as effective as in person therapy), show up as you would if you were going into the therapist’s office.
Be comfy. Bring a notebook and a pen if you want to, and always bring some water in case you get thirsty. Some people show up in their bonnets, with a blanket or in their pajamas.
I’m cool with all of it.
Understanding Your Story: The First Step in Trauma Therapy
During our first session, we’ll be getting to know each other better. You’ll get a sense of how I talk, how I work and I’ll get your background story- so to speak.
I’ll be asking about your symptoms, physical and emotional health, family background, past experiences in therapy, your sleep, trauma experiences, social relationships, intimate relationships, and a lot more. This will help me tailor therapy for you. No cookie cutter here.
By the end of the first session, you will probably have a good sense for whether or not we are actually a fit. If you decide you want to continue on, then we’ll schedule another session. If not, I’ll hopefully help you find someone who is a better fit for you.
Towards the end of the first session, we will work together to pinpoint about 2 to 3 goals of therapy. You can pick whatever you want and it’s flexible. You can always change your goals.
Trauma therapy is a lot less scary than it sounds. It’s simply just a time to help you begin to clear out some of the traumatic memories that have been sitting in your body and your brain so that you can feel free and unhindered.
Introducing Brainspotting: How It Fits into Trauma Therapy
During the second session, it’ll be time to jump into brainspotting- a powerful technique for processing trauma.
In a nutshell, brainspotting is essentially gently going into the deep layers of your brain where trauma and strong emotions are stored, allowing you to access those emotions and digest them.
Because we are able to access deep layers of the brain, it reduces the total amount of time you’ll spend in therapy. It is powerful and efficient.
As we continue on our brainspotting trauma therapy journey together, I’ll continue to check in with you to see how you’re feeling. Are you sleeping okay? Do you have any physical symptoms? Tiredness maybe? Do you feel like you are beginning to clear out the trauma?
Are there any other areas you would like to touch on in session?
I am a pro at catering to the specific needs of women in Houston. Typically, in addition to trauma therapy, many of my clients want to work on building back their self esteem, learning how to establish firm, but kind boundaries with themselves and others, as well as establishing safe, healthy relationships. We can do all that.
Feeling Comfortable and Supported with Your Trauma Therapist in Houston
Remember that therapy is a process. You might not feel completely healed after the first or second session, but as you continue to be open to the process, you will feel relieved.
During the first few sessions, you are also getting to know your therapist better. It’s okay if you feel shy or awkward at first.
Brainspotting can feel difficult at first, but there is no type of healing that comes without a little bit of a challenge.
If you are looking for a quicker non-invasive way to heal trauma, consider connecting with a brainspotting trauma therapist in Houston.
Ready to start your healing journey with a trusted trauma therapist in Houston? Schedule your free consultation call with me for trauma therapy in Houston and take the first step toward reclaiming your life!
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.
Why You Should Choose a Trauma Therapist in Houston for Your Healing Journey
You’ve been through so much trauma and pain. All you want is to feel like yourself again, but you have no idea where to start or what to do about it. The good thing is that with the right trauma therapist in Houston, you can indeed experience transformation like you’ve never seen before.
You’ve been through so much trauma and pain. All you want is to feel like yourself again, but you have no idea where to start or what to do about it. The good thing is that with the right trauma therapist in Houston, you can indeed experience transformation like you’ve never seen before.
Before you say “Therapy takes too much time and probably doesn’t work,” I’d like to introduce you to a cutting edge method of trauma healing called brainspotting. It can typically cut down the amount of time you spend in therapy, it goes straight to the deepest layers of your brain where trauma and difficult emotions are stored, and you don’t have to give your therapist a play by play of what happened to you if you don’t want to.
What Does a Trauma Therapist in Houston Do?
The role of a trauma therapist is to guide you in a (hopefully) gentle way so that you are able to work through the traumatic memories and digest them. The outcome should be that those memories no longer haunt you, and you begin to feel as close to normal as possible. We do not promise you that your memory would be wiped clean. Nope. But the desired outcome is that you will be able to live a full life, the constant anxiety will quiet down, healthy relationships will be restored and trauma no longer consumes you.
There are many methods of healing trauma. There is talk therapy, in which you discuss the details of the issue over and over again until it no longer bothers you so much. There is talk therapy in which you don’t necessarily have to go into detail, but you work on the after effects of the trauma- not being able to stand up for yourself, avoiding certain things or people, fear, anxiety, irritability, etc.
There is also non traditional therapy (ike brainspotting and EMDR) in which you’re targeting your brain- which is where traumatic memories and feelings are stored.
It is important that therapy be personalized for you. In my practice, I do not use brainspotting for all people. I’m a therapist, NOT a dictator. Some people prefer talk therapy, some prefer a more hybrid model, and some want strict brainspotting. We do what works for you.
Why Brainspotting is a Game-Changer for Trauma Therapy
I love that brainspotting is not only gentle, but it is also effective. You don’t have to jump through a lot of hoops to get started. After the first assessment session, I jump right into it from session 2. I prep you verbally for a few minutes and then I step back to let your brain do its thing.
Brainspotting essentially utilizes your eye gaze to help you target the specific areas of the brain where trauma is stored. Once you gain access, you can now process then digest the trauma.
You see when trauma is stuck in your brain, you feel the effects- jumpiness, tearfulness, anxiety, anger, dissociation, body aches and pains etc. Wouldn’t it be nice to finally clear out those places where trauma has been locked?
It helps you get to the root of the trauma faster. That means less time in therapy and you can go ahead with your happy life sooner.
Why Choose a Trauma Therapist in Houston: The Local Advantage
When you work with a therapist who is local, they get the culture you are a part of. The Houston area is such a unique place that people from other places might just not understand things like how it takes 20 minutes to drive just 5 miles! (Make it make sense).
It is also important to choose a trauma therapist who gets all the other parts of you- ethnicity, religion, gender, marital status, parenting status, etc. Because you have to feel like your therapist is a great match for you- or else, you won’t be able to open up.
I absolutely love working with highly sensitive Christian women who feel like they have to hold their entire family up. I get their unique needs.
What to Expect from Your Healing Journey with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
The therapy processs starts before the first session. You are on Google, trying to find the right fit. With me, I offer a free 15-minute consultation call.
I learn how you want to be supported, what has worked so far, what hasn't worked, and we discuss the way I work. If we decide we are a great match, then during our first virtual session, I get to know you more.
We’ll go through your spiritual, educational, career, relational and emotional background. All these areas help me better understand how to personalize therapy for you.
During the second session, we jump into brainspotting. While using my pointer, we decide what traumatic experience to focus on. You’ll start to process through the event as if it was happening again. You might cry or feel tense while it’s happening, but if you give it some time, you’ll start to feel a sense of relief and peace. Your own body will guide you.
Essentially we open the door in your mind that has been holding back traumatic memories, As you walk through the door, the memories will have less and less of a hold on you.
It sounds more complicated than it really is.
How to Find the Right Trauma Therapist in Houston for You
It is important to pick the therapist you feel most comfortable with. You can do a Google search, use a therapy directory or ask around. Chances are you know a few friends who have seen an amazing therapist lately.
My best advice is to check out the therapist’s website first. This gives you an idea of their personality, their background, training, fees etc. I am biased but I recommend brainspotting if you are specifically trying to work through trauma.
Next, schedule a free consultation call if the therapist offers it. This gives you a chance to hear their voice and ask whatever questions are on your mind. I tend to be a very transparent therapist who sees myself as your guide- NOT your boss. I believe you have the answers if I ask you the right questions.
Don’t forget to ask them how they work. Will you meet weekly? Biweekly? Monthly? Etc. My preference is to see my clients weekly to start with. This helps create some rapid progress.
If the therapist doesn’t work out for you, don’t suffer through it. Simply go through the process again and find someone new. Sometimes it takes a few tries, but the right therapist is out there waiting for you.
Ready to take control of your healing journey with a brainspotting trauma therapist in Houston? Schedule a free 15-minute consultation call so you can experience the transformative power of brainspotting trauma therapy firsthand!
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Ready to get rid of anxiety, finally kick insomnia or for marriage counseling?