The Top 8 Truths about marriage counseling or therapy in the Houston area

Couples therapy in Houston is a lot more popular than you might think. Many couples have attributed the success of their marriages to marriage counseling.

If you're hesitant about attending marriage counseling in Houston, here are some simple truths about marriage counseling or marriage therapy in the Houston area.

1) Couples therapy in Houston is not just for failing marriages.

Many couples are hesitant to start couples therapy in Houston, because some people falsely believe that marriage counseling will be the beginning of the end. This is simply not true. It is much like saying that if you go to the gym then it is the beginning of the end.

Marriage counseling in Houston is simply a healthy practice. Couples simply come together with a couples counselor to learn simple skills to help them deal with conflict, learn to communicate calmly with one another, learn to validate each other's feelings, and learn how to be seen and heard.

In couples therapy you'll learn how to strengthen your friendship with one another and how to create a marriage that is more in line with the marriage that you dreamt of when you got married in the first place.

Can marriage counseling lead to divorce? My argument is no. If you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, it is because you both are making a conscious decision to end the relationship- not because you decided to go through counseling. If in the course of marriage counseling, the couple decides to go their separate ways, chances are there were other issues festering the entire time.

2) the best Marriage counseling in Houston takes a lot of work, commitment, and practice

Many people think marriage counseling in Houston is easy. Houston relationship therapy simple teaches couples practical skills to help strengthen their relationship. The purpose of relationship counseling in Houston or marriage counseling is learning how to truly listen to each other, and learning how to do things differently. I often tell my couples- if you continue doing what you've been doing, you continue to get what you've currently gotten.

When you work with a marriage counselor, it takes a lot of work on your part. Depending on the couples therapist in Houston you work with, your sessions will probably last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. Some marriage counselors or relationship therapist in Houston even conduct marathon counseling- that’s a situation in which you and your spouse are in marriage counseling for 6 hours a day over a span of 3 days or more.

If you were to think about the 24 hours you have in a day, these Houston couples therapy sessions are only a very tiny fraction of your marriage. The majority of the work in your marriage actually happens outside of session.

If you and your partner are not absolutely working through the issues that brought you into session, and practicing the new skills that you learned in marriage counseling, you will not see any difference in your marriage. This is not magic folks! Marriage counseling is simply just the art of communication and connection.

3) If you don't practice the skills learned in marriage counseling, your marriage will NOT improve

I feel like I need to say this again. If you do not practice the skills that you're learning in marriage counseling, your marriage will absolutely not improve. Like I said previously, marriage counseling is not magic. When you come in to couples counseling or relationship therapy, you and your spouse are probably gridlocked on an issue.

Chances are you have specific problems that have been happening over and over again, and you have no idea how to solve them. If you are not actively practicing the skills that you're learning in marriage counseling, your marriage will remain the same. Even the best marriage counselor cannot save your marriage if you’re not putting in any work. The reason why some couples think that marriage counseling caused the demise of their relationship, is that they probably weren’t practicing the skills that they learned in session.

They went into session, the therapist gave them skills to work on, they went on with the marriage as if nothing ever happened. Then the other partner got extremely tired and decided to call it quits.

It was not the marriage counseling or the couples therapy that caused the demise of your relationship. It was the negative pattern that caused the demise of the relationship.

4) couples therapy in houston can be a whole lot of fun

Many people come into couples therapy in Houston looking like they're heading to the slaughter. Houston relationship therapy absolutely does not have to be a drag. Some people think that marriage counseling involves two people raising their voices, rolled eyes, and complete chaos.

If you work with a skilled marriage counselor, they actually help you slow down the conversation so that your partner can hear you. They help your partner engage with you so that you both feel like you have an emotional connection, and they ensure that there is emotional safety in the session. Marriage counseling can be a whole lot of fun.

Yes there will be some difficult moments, however if your marriage counselor is skilled, there will also be many different moments of connection, understanding, and lots of laughter. I am a couples therapist who happens to believe that laughter is the best medicine and I do incorporate humor into everything that I do. Life is already stressful, let's learn to laugh a little.

5) Your pastor or church is not always the best place to get the best marriage counseling in houston

As a therapist who is also provides Christian marriage counseling in Houston, I know that I'm going to get some flack for this. Sometimes, your pastor or your church elders are not the people to give you the best marriage counseling in Houston. Yes, your pastor can give you a lot of spiritual advice, but sometimes your pastor is not equipped to work on the emotional struggles, the trauma, and some of the deeper layers that happen within a marriage or relationship.

Sometimes, marital struggles are caused by trauma. Sometimes marital struggles occur because one person is struggling with some sort of an addiction. Sometimes there are issues of abuse going on. And sometimes there is a mixture of all these issues at the same time, coupled with other emotional struggles.

In my opinion, only a licensed therapist who has additional training in these areas, is fully equipped to work on these issues. So while your pastor probably has your best interest at heart, sometimes, he or she is completely out of depth and cannot help you with some of the deeper layers of your marriage. For the best marriage counseling in Houston, find a licensed therapist who gets you.

6) A skilled marriage counselor in Houston will not blame you or your upbringing for everything

One concern about going into marriage counseling in Houston is that the counselor will probably side with your spouse and blame you for everything. A skilled marriage counselor absolutely should not do that.

We try to understand both parties and help you to communicate your thoughts and feelings appropriately to your spouse. Our job is not to split the couple and cause more rifts. Our job is simply to provide understanding and teach you how to communicate clearly to each other so that your friendship can grow. Blaming one party for everything will definitely not repair the relationship. It only causes more harm. The best marriage counseling in Houston feels safe for both parties.

7) Marriage counseling or relationship therapy is not for ‘Failures’

Some people run away from marriage counseling because they believe going to marriage counseling will mean that they are a complete failure. On the contrary, the person who goes to marriage counseling is someone who is definitely dedicated to making their relationship work.

It says that you are ready to learn new ways of communicating, you're ready to understand your spouse, and you're ready to roll up your sleeves and do what it takes to take the relationship to a new level.

Think about a marriage counseling session like a workout. You go to the gym to strengthen your muscles. In the same way, people go to marriage counseling to strengthen their love muscles, friendship or communication. Marriage counseling helps you become a much better spouse.

8) Sometimes, you’re not able to solve your marriage struggles on your own- enter RELATIONSHIP therapy in houston

Sometimes it does not matter how hard you try; You and your spouse are still at loggerheads. The truth is that majority of the persistent issues that married couples face are actually unsolvable. The job of the best marriage counseling in Houston is not necessarily to solve all of your issues, it is simply to teach you how to manage the unsolvable issues.

Because you're not able to solve your marriage struggles does not mean that you're a failure. We all know that marriage can be difficult. Even the best marriage counselors in Houston go to marriage counseling to learn new skills. It's sometimes nice to let a licensed professional who has years of training in human behavior teach you how to get past the hurdles so that your relationship can truly thrive.

If you can leave car fixing to mechanics and plumbing to plumbers, why not allow a professional marriage counselor assist you with your marriage?

If you’re ready to take your marriage from chaos, confusion and misunderstanding, to a place of love, intimacy and passion, click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call. I am a Black marriage counselor in Houston who also provides Christian marriage counseling in Houston.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Finding the best marriage counseling in the Houston area: A Simple Guide

Marriage can be blissful. You meet someone, fall in love and when you think about them, you have butterflies in your stomach. You think about them all day long, and you can’t wait until you get to see them again.

But sometimes, marriage can be extremely complicated. You forget how to talk to and listen to each other. Everything becomes a fight or an argument, and sometimes you absolutely cannot stand each other.

If this sounds like your marriage, it might be time to seek marriage counseling. Here is a simple guide on how to find a great marriage therapist in the Houston area.

Ask yourself what type of relationship therapy in Houston you want/need

Before beginning relationship therapy in Houston, it is important to know what type of therapist you want. Are you looking for Christian marriage counseling in Houston? Are you specifically looking for a Black marriage counselor in Houston? Do you prefer a male marriage therapist in Houston? Do you want to participate in conjoint marriage therapy? (Conjoined marriage therapy means you actually get to work with two therapists at the same time). Often the therapists are a therapist duo who are partners in real life. Do you want intensive marriage counseling (engage in couples therapy for 6 hours a day over a 2 to 3-day weekend), or do you want to meet with the marriage counselor weekly? This will determine whom you actually choose.

Start with a simple Google search (It could be as simple as- ‘Relationship Therapy Houston’ or ‘Couples Therapy Houston’)

Now that technology is everywhere, most marriage therapists in Houston have an online presence. This is a benefit for you. That way you can get to check out the couples therapist’s social media presence, their website, and sites where they have been interviewed so that you can decide if they are the one for you.

I highly recommend before you call the couples therapist or marriage counselor in Houston, you actually do some snooping. OK maybe we wouldn't call it snooping, let's just call it research. Find out what their approach to marriage counseling is, and figure out if their approach to therapy will work for you. Go with your gut. If you browse their website and you do not like them, strike them off your list. You should love your marriage therapist. Luckily Houston has an abundance of great marriage therapists for you to choose from.

One of the most important aspects in the success of marriage counseling in Houston is the connection between the marriage counselor and the client. Don't ignore this. The best marriage counseling in Houston for you involves a therapist whose approach works well for you.

Here are some examples of some simple keywords you can search in Google. The basic search formula is ‘Marriage counseling’ + [your city] or ‘Couples counseling’ + [your city] or ‘Relationship counseling + [Your city]. Feel free to add other specifiers such as therapist’s gender, race and religion.

Here are some sample searches you can type straight into Google:

Black marriage counseling Houston

Houston Couples therapy

Best marrriage counseling Houston

Christian marriage counseling Houston

Relationship counseling Houston

Houston relationship therapy

Marriage counseling Houston

Marriage counselor Houston, TX

Couples counseling Cypress

Couples therapy Katy, Texas

Black marriage counseling Houston, TX

Keep in mind that because of online therapy, you can meet with any couples therapist throughout the state of Texas. You don’t have to focus on couples therapists in Houston alone. Marriage therapists are licensed to work with anybody within their specific state. So if you happen to love a couples counselor who is not in your city, you can still work with them as long as they are licensed in your state.

Ask around in your church for a referral for Christian marriage counseling in Houston

Sometimes people avoid marriage counseling because they do not know that there are Christian marriage counselors in Houston. If your religion or spirituality is very important to you and you want to integrate your faith into your marriage counseling, a good place to start could actually be your church or place of worship. If you feel comfortable asking around, you might want to ask your pastor, bishop, priest, or religious leader for a few referrals.

You may actually be surprised to find out that a lot of churches actually encourage Christian couples counseling or Christian relationship counseling outside of the church as they know that licensed marriage and family therapists in Houston have a deeper training in relational dynamics and human emotions than pastors do. So don't be shy, ask your church for some referrals.

Ask your friends or loved ones for a referral to a marriage counselor in Houston

I can assure you that you are not the only person who is struggling within your marriage or relationship. Chances are that your friends or loved ones have also struggled too. I bet that one or two people whom you know have actually been in couples therapy in Houstonbefore. Sometimes the people with the strongest marriages actually do have the strongest marriages because they seek further counseling from professionals.

Ask them what exactly it is that they liked about their marriage counselor, ask them to tell you about their experience, and decide whether or not this might be the thing for you.

Try searching for a marriage counselor in Houston by searching on a therapist or counselor directory

These days there are a ton of different therapy or counseling directories that have done the work for you. Some of the directories that you can go on are:

Therapy for Black girls

Clinicians of Color Directory

Psychology Today

Melanin and Mental Health

Therapy Den

There are even specific directories to find therapists who integrate faith.

The great thing about these directories is that they let you narrow your search according to your state, ZIP Code, what type of insurance you have, your faith or religion, the gender of the therapist, as well as a long list of other filters. These can rapidly cut down on your search time.

Do not feel the need to come up with a long list of 10 therapists. Just pick about three or four and roll with it.

Do some background research when you have narrowed down to about 3 to 4 marriage counselors in Houston

Therapy is an emotional and financial investment in the health of your marriage. If you are to spend an hour a week pouring out your heart to a marriage counselor, then you better love the approach of the marriage counselor.

When you have come up with your shortlist of 3 to 4 marriage counselors, spend some time doing some background work on them. Go to their websites, and see if the website speaks to you. I highly suggest that you also include your partner in this search, as it is important that they also feel comfortable with the therapist that you choose.

Set up a free consultation call for marriage counseling in Houston

Some couples therapists in Houston offer free 15 to 20 minute consultation calls. This is a great time to ask questions, find out more about their marriage therapy style and feel out their vibe. If you feel comfortable with them over the phone, then you can move to the next step, which would be to schedule your first couples counseling appointment.

Searching for the right marriage therapist does not have to take a ton of time. But it does involve some research and patience on your part. Once you find a therapist you love, dive right in, Your relationship will thank you.

If you are ready to begin the work of healing your marriage, I am a Black marriage therapist in the Houston area, who sees clients throughout Texas and California. Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call to determine if I’m the best fit for you.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a Black licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Questions to ask a prospective counselor or therapist in Houston

You’ve been searching for a therapist in Houston for a while. You've asked every friend you know, and looked in every therapist directory possible. Now you have a short list of therapists in Houston and you're not sure exactly what to ask them or how to know if this is the right therapist for you.

Well I've got you.

Here are some questions that you can ask a prospective therapist in Houston before you begin your therapy journey.

1) What is your therapy specialty?/What types of therapy clients do you typically work with?

Therapists in Houston have specialties just like physicians. Not every therapist in Houston is a Jack of all trades. Now don't get me wrong, there are some counselors in Houston who see a long list of people- such as people with anxiety, people with depression, people with trauma, children, adults, older adults, and everyone in between. However, most therapists have a specific population that they absolutely love to work with, and are also incredibly skilled at working with them.

So to make your life easy, ask your therapist exactly who they love to work with, so that you can decide if you fit in that category. It is important that you therapist enjoys working with you just as much as you enjoy working with them. I happen to be a Black therapist in Houston who is particularly skilled in anxiety therapy.

2) How long does your average therapy client typically work with you?

Some therapists in Houston are skilled at long-term therapy- seeing clients for years and years, or seeing clients with very severe mental health needs. While other therapists strongly believe in a short term model.

They often will see clients with mild to moderate needs, and they will graduate therapy within a few weeks months or even a year. Some clients are willing to be in therapy for as long as it takes for their struggles to finally be resolved.

However some people only want to be in therapy for a short period of time. It is important that your ideal situation matches the way your therapist works. If you go into therapy with the intention of seeing your therapist long-term, but your therapist happens to be a short term therapist, there will be a mismatch. It is important that you get this ironed out at the outset of therapy, so that there are no surprises.

3) What is your therapy style like?

It is also very important that your therapist’s style matches your personality. You can go to a therapist in Houston who has seven PhD's and wrote the book on therapy, however if their style does not work with your personality and your own emotional needs, therapy will absolutely fall flat.

For example, I use a lot of humor in my therapy sessions. I tend to be a little bit loud, I throw in a lot of laughter, and I also throw in a little bit of shade- what can I say? I’m a Black therapist in Houston who shows up as myself. If you are looking for a therapist who is much more reserved, extremely laid-back, and shows up looking very formal, then you'll find me absolutely irritating.

I also believe that you are the leader in the therapy room. Even though I have the education and the skills to guide you, I do not give you advice, and I absolutely will not tell you what to do. I help you figure out what the answer is, as I believe that it is already lying on the inside of you. I just have to guide you there.

With some of my clients, I don't do talk therapy- I do brainspotting therapy in Houston. Most of my clients liken it to EMDR. During brainspotting therapy, I will utilize some techniques to help you tap into the emotional side of your brain, thereby unlocking emotions that have been trapped, giving you insight and healing your brain. Brainspotting therapy in Houston is great for healing trauma and anxiety. This involves very little talking, but it is very effective. Click here to read more about brainspotting therapy in Houston.

4) Have you ever worked with clients who are struggling with [insert your issue]

It is important that your therapist has some experience in working on some of the issues that you are struggling with. After all, you do not want to be a lab rat. So, if you have wondered if your therapist has worked with somebody who is super independent, tries to fix everyone, and carries their entire family on their back, then ask your therapist. We will be honest with you and let you know whether or not we are able to help you. At least that is my policy. I only see clients whom I am confident that I can help. I would much rather refer you to another therapist in Houston, than waste your time or let you down. And if you specifically want a Black therapist in Houston, I’ll help you find one.

5) How often will we meet?

This is extremely important so that you can schedule your time and budget appropriately. Some therapists meet with their clients every week. Others meet with their clients every other week, and some therapist in Huston will want to meet in a more sporadic fashion.

I meet with new therapy clients every week, and as you get closer to graduating therapy (you’ll know when you’re ready because we check in periodically to check out your progress), we will go down to every other week and set a date for a last therapy session. I do have clients who see me once a month or as needed. However it is important that you know what to expect before you begin working with a therapist.

6) What are your fees and payments?

One of the most common misconceptions about therapy is that therapy is not affordable for everyone. These days, many insurance companies know that our mental health is just as important as a physical health. When you are working with a therapist in Houston, and if you choose to go through your insurance, ask them about their fees and if they will be billing your insurance. That way you know what your co-pay is, you can set a therapy budget, and there will be no surprises in your future.

Please know that if you choose to go through your insurance company, you should probably call them before you begin therapy so that you can find out how many sessions they will approve, what your out-of-pocket cost will be, as well as all the other benefits that come with your insurance. I wouldn’t want you to have any surprises.

7) What is your cancellation policy?

Many therapists in Houston work on a fee-for-service basis. This means we get paid when you come into session. Because of this, we often have cancellation policies for no-shows. Before you go into therapy, ask your therapist if they have a cancellation policy and what the policy is.

Some therapists in Houston will charge you a nominal fee if you miss a session without letting them know. Other therapists will charge you the full session fee if you do not give them a 24 or 48-hour notice. Ensure you know what policy they have so that you can adjust your life accordingly.

There you have it. These are some simple questions that you should ask a prospective therapist so that you can get ready for your first therapy session.

And if you are ready to begin the journey of healing from trauma, anxiety or an extremely boring or unfulfilled marriage, click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call. I am a Black anxiety therapist in Houston who believes that everyone can benefit from therapy.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

The Top 8 Truths about counseling or therapy in the Houston area

The Houston area is bustling and full of diversity, vibrancy and lots of hard working people. Sometimes the hustle and bustle could take a toll on your physical and mental health. And when you're going through stress, worry and anxiety it might be time to begin counseling or therapy in Houston.

Some people jump headfirst into the therapy process, while others prefer to tiptoe. If you are someone who prefers to tiptoe, here's a little glimpse behind the curtain of therapy in Houston.

Here are some of the top five truths about counseling or therapy in Houston.

1) Every therapist in Houston is not the right therapist for you

Although every single therapist in Houston has at least a master’s degree, not every therapist’s style will match your needs. Therapist’s vary in their philosophy of how they serve their clients.

The first step in finding a therapist in Houston or a counselor in Houston is being clear about what it is that you're trying to get out of therapy. Are you looking to reduce anxiety? Are you perhaps struggling with depression and would like a therapist to help you with that? Or are you the super independent family member whom everybody goes to for help, and now you're sick of it?

If you decide to work with a therapist in Houston, it is important that you get to know what their style is as well as what their niche is. The best way to get to know them is to read their website to see if what they talk about actually hits your heart.

The next step after reading their website is to call the therapist to see if they offer free consultation calls. During this time you get to ask all of the questions about therapy.

Remember, not every counselor in Houston is the same. Not every therapist in Houston is right for you. It is OK for you to keep searching until you find the right counselor in Houston for you.

2) therapists in houston are not your friend

Although I'm a huge advocate of therapy- especially in a large, busy area like Houston, it is important to know that we therapists are not your friends. Unlike your friends who might struggle to tell you the truth, and who are not trained to see the different dynamics in your life, we are masters of human behavior and family dynamics.

We try to help you break through different blocks that have been holding you back, and we also help you gain awareness of different dynamics in your life that might blocking your progress. Even though we want to see you succeed, we will not be spending time on empty chitchat, we will not be hanging out with you after session, and we certainly will not follow you on social media.

We draw the line between our therapeutic relationship and your personal life.

3) You might have to try multiple therapists in Houston before you find the therapist who is the best fit for you

Sometimes the first therapist that you work with, will not be the therapist that you work with for the rest of your life. And this is perfectly OK.

If you are new to therapy, you might not know what to expect (read this blog post on what to expect from therapy in Houston), and so you might just be a passive participant in the process. It is perfectly OK if you decide to stop therapy whenever you want. I highly suggest that you speak to your therapist about what is no longer working for you, so that you give them a chance to make some changes.

If the first few therapists you work with do not feel like a good match for you, the problem is not you, the problem is most likely the therapeutic relationship. The single most important factor in the success of therapy, is the relationship between the client and the therapist. Please do not feel like you have to stay with a therapist that you don't feel a connection with. There are too many counselors in Houston for you to have to settle on the wrong one. It is your right to move on whenever you feel you are ready.

4) You might have different therapists for different seasons in your life.

Sometimes you need therapy to support you in a specific season in your life, such as the divorce of your parents when you were a teenager. And after you've worked through that issue, it is possible that you graduate therapy and you don't go back to therapy for years.

But maybe you graduate college and you find that the transition as an independent woman who is out in the real world feels overwhelming to you. So you decide to seek therapy for that specific issue.

Later in life, you might get married, have a few kids, and you need support to get through the long days as a mother. And so you decide to get an anxiety therapist in Houston or a Black therapist in Houston to help you through that season of your life.

It is perfectly OK to find a new therapist when you're in a different season in your life, or if you're going through a different transition. It is normal to have had multiple therapists that have helped you in different stages of your life. Bravo to you if you have sort out support before.

5) Therapy in houston is often not a quick fix

The biggest misconception about therapy is that you will feel better in the first two sessions. Sometimes, you might even feel worse before things get better. If you think about it, most people do not seek the support of a therapist until the issue they're struggling with has been brewing for months, or maybe even years.

It is really difficult to fix an issue that has been brewing for years- in just a few days or weeks.

The reason why you might feel worse before you feel better is that the work of therapy looks like unearthing difficult emotions, and possibly dissecting long-standing dynamics that are no longer working for you.

After all of those issues have been unearthed, then you can find your way back to healing and figuring out who you now want to be.

So hang in there. Counseling or therapy might not feel easy, but it is well worth it.

6) Your first therapy session might feel awkward

When people come to therapy for the first time, they often feel awkward. Some people; find it a bit easier if they participate in online therapy, rather than in person. Think about this- your therapist is asking you to be vulnerable and open with a complete stranger. Sometimes it’s much easier to be vulnerable when you’re sitting in the comfort of your own home.

This is the definition of awkward.

But a complete stranger who is well educated in human behavior and dynamics, is probably the best person to work with.

Because we do not follow you home and we do not work with you outside of your therapy or counseling session, we can help create a situation of true growth and healing. You pour out your heart to us, you leave it in your counseling session, and you can continue to live your life.

As you continue to attend sessions, the awkwardness will die down, and you get to the point where you'll start to look forward to the level of vulnerability that leads to growth.

7) Your therapist will not be prescribing medications

One reason why people often run away from therapy in Houston or counseling in Houston is because they assume that their therapist will be prescribing medications or that they will have to take psychiatric medication to be in therapy. Well I have news for you- as a licensed marriage and family therapist in Houston, I did not attend medical school, therefore I cannot prescribe medication even if I wanted to.

When you work with a therapist like me, I probably will not talk much about medication. If you have concerns about your medication, or if you wish to begin taking medications, then I recommend that you speak to your primary care physician or a psychiatrist.

Medications and pills are completely out of the scope of practice of therapists and counselors in Houston.

8) Anyone can benefit from therapy (even strong, super responsible Black women)

Another big misconception about therapy in Houston is that it is only for ‘weak people’ or ‘crazy people.’ Well, I am yet to meet someone who is too strong for therapy. Every human is probably carrying a burden on their shoulders, and even the strongest, most independent Black woman can benefit from additional support of a therapist. If you’re specifically seeking a Black therapist in Houston, that’s okay too. Some of the reasons people go to therapy are trauma, anxiety, depression, a difficult transition such as a move, getting deployed in the military, working a difficult job, etc.

I hope this helps clarify some misconceptions about therapy in Houston. If you are searching for a Black therapist in Houston who can help you get in touch with your vulnerable side, and break through that superwoman shell, or help you fix that marriage that has gone stale, click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call. You deserve the life that you have always dreamed of.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

The Top 9 Myths about counseling and therapy in Houston

Houston is a very beautiful place to live. However, the hustle and bustle, and the endless driving could leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Perhaps you've tried to work through your feelings on your own, and you feel like it's time for therapy. The problem is you've heard so many negative things about therapy, and you’re not sure what to believe. I'm here to clear the air.

Here are some common myths about counseling or therapy in the Houston area.

1) Therapy or counseling in Houston is just for White people

I've heard it said a million times that Black people (or non-White people) do not go to therapy. However I could not think of anything that is further from the truth. As long as you're a human with a brain and actual emotions, chances are that you can benefit from therapy.

As a Black therapist in Houston myself, I promise you that I have seen clients from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds. Therapy is not just for White people, therapy is a great way to break through the intergenerational trauma that we often experience as Black people.

Therapy is a great way to learn to set great boundaries with loved ones and family members, and therapy is a way to self reflect and offload.

Plus there are only so many blogs, self help books and Tik Tok videos to help you. Cut through the noise and get yourself a professional therapist in Houston.

2) Therapy or counseling is just for ‘crazy’ people

First of all let me just mention how much I hate the term ‘Crazy.’ I don't believe there's any such thing as a crazy person. There are only humans who are absolutely trying their best to maneuver life situations.

And no, you do not have to be crazy, on the verge of a psychological breakdown, or about to break up a relationship before you begin therapy in Houston.

Actually, I recommend that you go to therapy before you’ve reached your breaking point. After all, why not prevent a breakdown altogether?

3) Going to therapy is just like talking to your best friend

First of all, your therapist is absolutely not your friend. You will not be hanging out in coffee shops with your therapist, you won't be going to Sunday brunch with your therapist, and your therapist will probably not be attending your birthday party. Your therapist’s job is to help you accomplish your mental health goals, and to help you see your blind spots.

My job is simply to act as a guide so that you can improve your emotional health, your relationships, and it will even trickle into your career life. You'll find that your self-esteem will improve and we keep it confidential.

Unlike your friends, I do not sugar coat as your counselor. I do want you to thrive and succeed, however my job is to guide you and help you find deeper insight about your emotions and experiences.

4) Therapy is only for people who have experienced trauma or for people who are in deep emotional distress

Therapy is really different in real life. It is not like in the movies. Typically, the heroine of the movie goes through deep emotional distress, then when she's at her lowest point, she then plops herself onto the couch of a wonderful therapist who changes her life.

This is not real life.

Sometimes therapy doesn’t even involve a couch. There are many amazing online therapists in Houston.

You do not have to be in a crisis to go work with a therapist in Houston or a counselor in Houston. Some people go to therapy because they are trying to adjust to what life is throwing at them. Some work with a therapist in Houston after they change their job. Some seek counseling in Houston so they can better manage a separation in their relationship. Relationship counseling in Houston is also very common and helpful.

While others learn how to set healthy boundaries, to overcome phobias, and a whole list of issues.

If you are experiencing any type of emotional distress- even a mild one-then you could benefit from therapy.

5) You have to spend several years in therapy

Some people believe that once they start therapy they'll have to continue for the rest of their lives. Some therapists do engage in deep, long-term therapy, but not everyone has to be in therapy for a very long time.

Being in therapy for years also isn’t bad. However some people just need a few sessions and then they're able to move on.

Many of my clients come in, roll up their sleeves, work on their goals, and when they are feeling much better, we make a plan to graduate therapy.

Some are in therapy for six sessions, and some do see me for years. It really all depends on what you want to dive into and the circumstances of your life.

6) All therapists in Houston ever do is just nod and smile

If you've combed through my website, then you know that I say that I am not ‘A nod and smile therapist.’ Unlike the therapists in the movies who wear two-piece suits with pumps, are chained to a notebook and pen, and also stare at you blankly, while nodding and smiling. Then they take a break from their note taking and ask you "How do you feel?" I am not that one.

My job as a therapist in Houston is to help you dive deep into your life so that you can actually reach the goals that you came in to see me for. I speak like a human, I smile, I raise my eyebrows, I cackle a little bit, and sometimes my clients say that I do throw them some shade.

What can I say? I can’t help myself.

Yes, sometimes we do have belly laughs in therapy, but I promise you that therapy is a whole lot more than me nodding and smiling blankly. If that is all therapy was then it would be a complete waste of your time and mine.

7) My insurance won’t cover therapy in Houston/ I won’t be able to afford therapy

These days, there are so many options for therapy in Houston. Insurance companies are understanding that our emotional health is just as important as our physical health.

So if you are thinking about going to therapy, the first step would be to contact your insurance company and find out more about your mental health benefits. Some insurance companies will want you to see a therapist in Houston that is within their network. While others a bit more flexible with it. Some will put a cap on the number of therapy or counseling sessions you can have within a time period. You’ll never know if you don’t ask. So ask. Don’t use assume you can’t afford therapy.

8) Christians cannot/should not go to therapy

As a Christian therapist in Houston who integrates faith with mental health, I know firsthand the importance of taking care of our mental health as people of faith. I see Christians in therapy all the time, and yes you can talk to me about Jesus, the Bible, as well as the leading of the Holy Spirit. No, I will not think that you are crazy, and yes I do welcome people talking to me about what the Lord is saying to them. If Christians do not take care of their mental health, how does that help us?

9) My therapist will blame my parents or my upbringing for my struggles

We are now in the 21st-century. Gone are the days when all therapists did was blame your mother for your struggles. We now know that there are so many other factors that make you who you are. My job is not to castigate your entire family. My job is to give you a deeper understanding of who you are, and to help you become who you want to be. Sometimes we talk about your upbringing, and sometimes we do not, however I do have the highest level of respect for you and your family.

If you are sick and tired of being a people pleaser, the responsible one in your family, or battling anxiety, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call with me. As an anxiety therapist in Houston, I’ll help you finally move from survival mode to thriving mode. You deserve a life free of anxiety.

About The Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Finding a therapist in the Houston area: A Simple Guide

Finding a therapist or counselor in the Houston area can be a little bit tricky, because Houston is such a large area. When you try to break it down, do you want to find a counselor in Cypress, a therapist in Sugar Land, or in one of the many surrounding neighborhoods in the Houston area?

You might also ask yourself “Do I need to be searching for a psychiatrist, a counselor, a therapist, or a psychologist?”

I'm going to break down every single thing you need to find a therapist or counselor in the Houston area that will be a great match for you. Don't worry, it's not as hard as you might think.

Questions to ask yourself before doing research about counseling in Houston

1) “Do I want an online therapist in Houston or would I prefer an In person therapist or counselor in Houston?”

When looking for a therapist in Houston, it is important to ask yourself whether you want virtual visits, or if you absolutely want to be seen in person. In my opinion, it really doesn't matter whether you are seen in person or virtually. Both forms of therapy are quite effective.

Pros and cons of in person therapy or counseling in Houston

The upside to being seen in person is that you get to drive away from your typical environment and you get to sit in a lovely office. Some people like to come into my office early, grab some tea, listen to sounds of nature and just take a moment to ground themselves before the therapy session. And some people love driving and looking at the Houston area sights. They create an entire vibe in their cars when they are on their way to their therapy session.

Pros and cons of seeing a virtual or online therapist in Houston

Now if you're seeing your therapist virtually, the upside is that you do not have to be in traffic at all- and we all know how annoying those Houston commutes can be. Virtual therapy in Houston is quite convenient. You can meet with your therapist while sitting in your car, while on your lunch break, in your office or while your baby is taking a nap. There is zero commute time and because of this, chances are you will probably attend counseling or therapy sessions more frequently.

If you do choose to see an online therapist in Houston though, this opens you up to a wider selection of therapists because you can meet with any therapist who is licensed in your state. So there is no geographical boundary holding you back. That means you can see a therapist in Houston, a therapist in Dallas, a therapist in Austin, or any therapist who is licensed in Texas.

Whether you attend virtually or in person, in my professional opinion, therapy can work either way.

2) “Why do I need a therapist in Houston?” (This helps you pick a therapist in Houston with the right niche)

Just like physicians, therapists in Houston (and everywhere else) also have specialties. It is important to note that most of us are not jack of all trades, and we prefer to see clients within a specific niche.

So ask yourself why you’re seeking the support of a therapist. Is it for depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, problems at work, problems of parenting, infertility… and the list goes on. I happen to be an anxiety therapist in Houston, because that is what I do best. It is important to find a therapist who can actually cater to some of the issues that you are struggling with.

Again, similar to seeing a physician, you wouldn't go to a dentist for your heart issues. So it is important that you know why you want therapy so that you can find a therapist that has a set of skills that are particularly suited for what you're experiencing.

3) “Do I want to use my insurance? And what is my therapy budget?”

A therapy budget is a subject that I have never seen online before, so I thought I should address it with you. Typically, therapists love to see their clients weekly. For me, doing this ensures that there is continuity of care and that my clients are moving fast towards their goals.

When you have a therapy budget, you are able to plan better so that there won’t be breaks in your therapy sessions. Know what you are comfortable paying for, so that you can find a therapist who is also within your budget.

If you choose to go through your insurance, ensure that you know what your co-pay will be, how many sessions your insurance will cover, as well as what types of sessions your insurance will cover (30 minute sessions, 45 minute sessions, couples therapy, family therapy, etc). Get these logistics out of the way before you begin the therapy process. That being said it is important to note that the best therapist Houston for you may not necessarily be the cheapest or the most expensive.

The best therapist in Houston for you is a therapist who has a lot of experience managing what your area of struggle is, and his personality is a perfect match for yours. It is a perfect marriage between the two. So do not be tempted to go for the free therapist whose niche is nowhere near what you need. Your mental health needs come first. If I went to a cardiologist to help me with my kidneys, chances are I would get a bad result. So buyer beware.

Pros and cons of using your insurance for therapy in Houston

The upside to using your insurance is that it is usually so much cheaper. One of the downsides could be that some of the therapists within your network might be full, or your insurance may have specific stipulations that may not work for you. My recommendation is that you call your insurance company before beginning sessions so that you know what your plan covers. It is also possible that the therapist or counselor you want to work with, doesn't take your insurance. Please note that insurance companies often expect your therapist to diagnose you. Keep that in mind.

Pros and cons of paying out of pocket for therapy in Houston

On the other hand, the upside to going out of pocket is that you can have as many sessions as you need, and typically, therapists who are private pay are often able to see their clients a lot sooner. The downside of course is that it could cost you more than if you were to use your health insurance. Pick the option that works best for you.

Now that we’ve covered the preliminary questions about finding a therapist in Houston, let’s dive in deeper.

Where to find a therapist in Houston

1) Ask your friends and loved ones who their therapist is.

Therapy in Houston and throughout Texas is becoming increasingly common. Chances are that your friends and loved ones have seen a therapist before. If you're comfortable asking them, simply ask them who they go to for therapy and why they like them.

Have an open discussion about the pros and cons of that specific therapist, their therapy style, and what attracted your loved one to that therapist. Please note that because your loved one had a great experience with that therapist does not necessarily mean that the therapist will be a perfect match for you.

I highly recommend that you schedule a consultation call with the therapist before you begin to work with them. The call is a great time for the therapist to get to know what you need support with, to tell you more about their style of work, and to decide if you and the therapist are compatible with one another. Without this compatibility, therapy will fall flat. You can go to the best therapist in the world, but if they are not a good fit for you, it won’t work.

2) Search for a therapist in a mental health directory

There are a multitude of therapist directories out there. These are a shortcut to helping you find the best therapist in Houston for you.

You can narrow down by ZIP Code, state, insurance, therapist’s specialty, therapist’s gender, religious or spiritual beliefs, race, as well as a long list of other areas. It’s important that you pick a therapist that you will be comfortable with. Some people often feel bad when they call me and say that they would prefer a Black therapist in Houston. Please don't feel bad. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own therapy session.

Some therapist directories to try are:

• Therapy for Black Girls

• Clinicians of Color Directory

• Therapy Den

• Melanin and Mental Health

3) Search for a therapist in the Houston area on Google

If you do not feel like going to a therapist directory, or speaking to a friend or loved one, you can use good old Google to find a therapist in Houston. Just search for a therapist according to what you need or a therapist in your city.

So some examples of searches could be:

• Anxiety therapist in Houston.

• Depression therapist Katy, Texas.

• Black therapist in Houston

• Premarital counseling Houston

• Female Black therapist Houston.

• Therapist for trauma in Cypress, Texas.

Or you can search by gender and religion. For example:

• Black Christian therapist Houston

• Christian counseling Katy

• Christian counselor Houston

• Christian counseling Sugar Land, TX

Once you find the therapist’s website, take about one or two minutes to look around. Does the therapist look like somebody whom you would feel comfortable working with? Does the therapist’s website speak to you? Go with your gut instinct. After looking at the therapist’s website, see if they do consultations and schedule a consultation with them.

Finding a therapist in the Houston area does not have to be a daunting task. Dedicate one or two days to finding about two or three therapists that appear to be a good fit for you.

If you really need support in finding a therapist click here to schedule a free consultation call. If you are searching for a Black therapist in the Houston area who can help you move from a place of anxiety to greater self confidence, or help your marriage move from a roommate situation to a passionate situation, then I might be the therapist for you. Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call. You can read more about how I help with anxiety, insomnia and marriage counseling here. Don't wait.

About The Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.