Here’s why going to marriage counseling in Houston is so much better than just talking to your friends
Why marriage counseling is better than just talking to your friends
Did you know that the average couple typically waits 6 years before seeking the help of a marriage counselor or marriage therapist? That means couples notice a problem, but they try to fight through it for 6 years!
Do you know what can happen in 6 years? You can watch your newborn become old enough to successfully start the first grade. You can get a bachelor’s degree AND a master’s degree. In 6 years you can also grow the most amazing friendship with your spouse.
But if you do not play your cards right, in 6 years you could completely watch your marriage deteriorate without the support and guidance of a trained Houston licensed marriage and family therapist.
But because most people do not understand the value of marriage counseling, they defer to self- help books (which aren’t totally bad), videos, reels and the advice from friends (who may or may not know how to actually help your marriage).
Let’s talk further about why you’re much better off attending marriage counseling in Houston than confiding in your well meaning friends.
Not all your friends are well meaning
First of all, not all your friends mean well or have enough knowledge to actually help your marriage grow. Some of your friends are amazing people who are skilled in business or parenting, but behind closed doors, their own marriages suck. So they’ll give you the same sucky advice they’ve been implementing at home and your marriage will become a dumpster fire. Some friends will give you bad advice on purpose, while others genuinely mean well, but their approach to marriage will worsen your situation.
Your friends are biased
Friends typically are one sided. They feel the need to stand by you at all costs. That means if you’re doing something wrong in your marriage, they won’t feel comfortable telling you that you’re doing something wrong. They watch you make missteps, but they don’t say anything. They also will nod and smile at you every time you complain to them about your spouse, but they don’t actually correct you.
But when you’re in couples counseling in Houston, on the other hand, your therapist is skilled in the art of pointing out harmful behavior and gently correcting you. So you actually leave each session having accomplished something great for your marriage.
Your friends don't know your family dynamics
Your lovely friends do not know the impact that your upbringing and your husband’s upbringing play in your relationship. All they see are the current behaviors within your household and they will give you advice based on that. That’s an incomplete picture.
I, on the other hand, approach marriage counseling in Houston from a holistic approach. I take the environment and family that you and your spouse were raised into consideration when I support you. We work to strengthen patterns that are working and fix patterns that are broken. Can your friends do that?
Your friends aren't professionally trained
Your friends don’t know the right questions to ask. They only know what you’ve told them. And let’s be honest, most of us do not tell our friends about the shenanigans that we pull with our spouses. We sugar coat our stories to make ourselves look better. So when you go to your friends for marriage advice, they have no clue what they should actually be saying to help you.
Your friends don't know the signs of a mental health diagnosis
Your friends often do not know the difference between typical marital issues and marital issues that arise as a result of a mental health diagnosis. Let’s be honest, most people wouldn’t know what anxiety, depression or ADHD looked like if it slapped them in the face. But a trained, specialized marriage counselor in Houston will not only help you improve your marriage relationship, but they can actually work with you to help manage your mental health. It’s a two for one.
The next time you are tempted to pick up your phone to call or text a friend to complain about your struggling marriage, ask yourself if that’s actually a wise decision.
If you are finally ready to break your 6-year marriage turmoil streak and have a marriage that feels easy, is filled with laughter and great communication, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for marriage counseling in Houston.
Marriage counseling in Houston (I also provide marriage counseling to people in the Temecula, Murrieta CA area) can end your awful 6 year streak.
About the Author
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are: