Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA & TX
What Happens in Trauma Therapy? A Guide from a Trauma Therapist in Houston
Trauma is everywhere. That’s a scary thought. But because most people know what trauma is, it is important to understand the process of healing one’s trauma through therapy.
There is a growing need for specialized trauma therapists in Houston, because the world is getting harsher and harsher. People are no longer willing to suffer in silence- which is AMAZING!
But sometimes, seeking help for the trauma that has you in a chokehold feels scary. You might have heard horror stories about people who have gone to therapy. Or maybe your mama has warned you to never tell strangers your business.
And as an adult woman, you might also feel like you are way too busy to spend about 1 hour each week talking through trauma.
Today I’m about to help silence your fears and give you some insight into what trauma therapy actually is.
Trauma is everywhere. That’s a scary thought. But because most people know what trauma is, it is important to understand the process of healing one’s trauma through therapy.
There is a growing need for specialized trauma therapists in Houston, because the world is getting harsher and harsher. People are no longer willing to suffer in silence- which is AMAZING!
But sometimes, seeking help for the trauma that has you in a chokehold feels scary. You might have heard horror stories about people who have gone to therapy. Or maybe your mama has warned you to never tell strangers your business.
And as an adult woman, you might also feel like you are way too busy to spend about 1 hour each week talking through trauma.
Today I’m about to help silence your fears and give you some insight into what trauma therapy actually is.
The good news is that trauma therapy doesn’t have to involve a whole lot of time and a whole lot of talking. With unique and cutting edge therapies like brainspotting, you can finally work through your trauma in less time than traditional trauma therapies.
Regardless of what type of therapy you embark on, there will be an element of apprehension. It comes with the territory. But luckily, a very skilled trauma therapist can have you feeling safe and comfortable in very little time.
What Does Trauma Therapy Involve?
Trauma therapy might sound big and scary, but it might not be as bad as you imagine. The first step in trauma therapy is finding a therapist you are comfortable with.
How will you know when you find them? You’ll know. It’s the feeling of “She gets me and I feel safe with her.” Trust your gut always.
Your first session would probably be an assessment session. Your therapist would ask about previous experiences in therapy, what your social life looks like, your upbringing, maybe some childhood experiences, your family life, what brings you into therapy, what you’re looking to get out of therapy, your educational background and work life, your emotional health, physical health and a whole lot more.
Why do we do this?
Because trauma therapy is not cookie cutter. When I know you better, it gives me insight into how to better help you.
During the second session this is when I first introduce brainspotting- which in my opinion, is a much more powerful and effective way to process trauma than traditional talk therapy. The main difference is that with brainspotting, we literally jump straight into the trauma during the second session. Why waste time?
With the power of eye movements and some strategic guidance on my part, I am able to help you access exactly where those emotions and experiences have been trapped in your brain- all in under an hour.
But with talk therapy, it might take multiple sessions before you are able to access the things that have been locked in the recesses of your brain. At first glance, brainspotting might seem a bit harsher than talk therapy, but it gets the work done faster.
There is also no guessing. In traditional talk therapy, your therapist has to gently coax memories out of you. None of that exists during brainspotting. Your brain will naturally guide you to where you need to go- thereby boosting your confidence too.
The Role of a Trauma Therapist in Houston: Guiding You Through Your Healing Journey
My job as a trauma therapist is to be your guide. Although you and I might have different educational backgrounds, I believe that you know yourself better than anyone else. Yes, I am a mental health expert, but you are the expert of your own brain and body.
I understand the unique needs of women, because oftentimes we don’t have the luxury of time to sit still and take care of our own mental health needs.
So in the under 1 hour that you work with me, my job is to help you prioritize yourself, validate yourself, find safety and help give you the tools so that you can continue to function as the high performing woman that you are.
I specifically love that brainspotting is so empowering to women. It helps you feel like you belong in your own body again. You are no longer frightened by the difficult memories. You learn how to ask for what you want, to comfort yourself when you need it, and to express emotions appropriately.
Brainspotting helps you get your power back, because we know that trauma could have you feeling completely weak and stuck.
How Brainspotting Works: A Deeper Look into Trauma Therapy
Brainspotting basically helps stop overthinking, over rationalizing and can help connect you to the more emotional part of your brain. When one goes through trauma, sometimes you shut off the emotional part of you in order to protect yourself. But a fully functioning woman deserves to have full access to both her thoughts and her emotions.
Let’s learn a bit of brain science.
Most of us are engaging the frontal cortex when we talk, when we make everyday decisions. But we typically neglect the emotional centers. But with brainspotting, the frontal cortex gets to take a break (no more overthinking), so that you can have access to the deeper areas of the brain where your emotions are (and where trauma is stored).
Why is this helpful?
Because traumatic emotions literally make you feel like you are trapped. When you are able to access these emotions at a deeper level and digest them, you can be set free from the pain of trauma.
What to Expect During Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
After the assessment session that I mentioned previously, you are now ready to begin brainspotting. Yup! Just like that. You don’t need fancy prep work.
The second session is where I introduce brainspotting. You’ll decide what issue or memory you would like as the target of the session. Then I’ll ask you what emotions are coming up for you and where you sense it in your body (brainspotting is really great for helping improve your mind-body connection).
Once this is done, I take a step back and allow you to see what comes up.
It will feel like you are taking a series of wild turns in your brain. Some people talk through it, while others are silent. But it will feel like your thoughts are moving rapidly until you find a resolution. And yes, you will eventually reach a point in the brainspotting session where you feel like you have digested the issue.
Just. Like. That.
If you’ve never experienced brainspotting, I realize this will all sound wacko. But once you experience it, it makes all the sense in the world.
Is Trauma Therapy Right for You? Finding the Best Trauma Therapist in Houston
Now brainspotting feels remarkably different from traditional trauma therapy. For one, your therapist won’t be doing a whole lot of talking. Instead, you will be given the space to explore the emotions as they naturally come up.
I do have to say brainspotting can feel intense, but once you get all the emotions out, the catharsis is HUGE. Some clients say they had the best sleep of their lives after a brainspotting session.
If you are ready to trust the process and truly heal from trauma, then it might be the right type of therapy for you.
Now, on to choosing the right trauma therapist in Houston.
Go with someone whom you feel will listen to you, guide you and will match your general vibe. Ensure that they actually do have training in some type of modality that deals with trauma.
Before selecting a therapist, go through their website, ask to schedule a consultation call so that you can get a sense of their personality. Because if it’s not a cultural fit, it just won’t work.
What do I mean by cultural fit?
For example, when working with me, I literally don’t care how you dress. Show up in a bonnet, a blanket and some pajamas, and I’m fine, as long as you are cozy.
I also inject a lot of slang, laughter and lightness into sessions. Sure we’re working on trauma, but we have to live right? Yup! I also understand the unique needs of immigrants, Christian women, first gen folks and highly sensitive people. So I weave all of this into my work with you.
Ready to take the next step in your healing journey with a trauma therapist in Houston? Click here to book your free consult call for brainspotting trauma therapy and reclaim your life today!
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
4 Sneaky ways in which trauma affects your life (And how to kick it in the butt)
Trauma.
1 huge horrific word.
It’s the boogie man in the closet that you do not speak of for fear that it will eat you up. It’s the thing that has you in a chokehold so you feel like you can’t breathe.
You think you can ignore those horrible things that happened to you and around you, but little do you know that trauma is indeed affecting you.
Trauma.
1 huge horrific word.
It’s the boogie man in the closet that you do not speak of for fear that it will eat you up. It’s the thing that has you in a chokehold so you feel like you can’t breathe.
You think you can ignore those horrible things that happened to you and around you, but little do you know that trauma is indeed affecting you.
Here are 4 sneaky ways that trauma affects your life.
1) You avoid CERTAIN situations, people, places and things
When you go through a traumatic event, you get the idea that anything to do with that event is a red flag. For example, if you were involved in a car accident, every time you go to that specific street, or you see a reminder of the event, you might feel your chest tighten or your palms get sweaty.
At first it seems unproblematic, but over time it begins to get in the way. To use the car crash example, it might stop you from driving altogether. And then you have to start asking for rides, using rideshare programs or walking everywhere (which we know is rough in the Houston summers).
Or maybe you went through a traumatic experience due to being attacked. Every time you see someone who resembles or sounds like the assailant, you might freeze or feel the need to run or fight.
It makes complete sense. Your body is just really trying to protect you.
2) You see danger everywhere you go
Trauma really has you protecting yourself- even when there is no need to actually protect yourself. You might have walked through the world feeling excited and carefree, but trauma changes that.
Suddenly you find yourself feeling closed off in new friendships. Everyone becomes a suspect. You learn how to build a solid wall, but you don’t know how to knock the wall down when you need to have loved ones peek through.
You become a much more hardened version of who you used to be.
And sometimes you see physical danger when you go around. You think so much more about protecting your body and your personal space. It’s exhausting.
3) It haunts your dreams. Literally
Sometimes trauma continues to nag at you- even in your dreams. You spend the entire day feeling happy, and then you shut your eyes, only for trauma to start bothering you.
You might see yourself running away from something or someone. Or you might find yourself revisiting what happened over and over again.
4) You become super defensive or aggressive
Trauma at first makes you feel weak, taken advantage of and small. And so to compensate for this lack, you might become aggressive. Or you might assume people are trying to hurt you, so you defend yourself. Your walls are up, and you might start to get snappy at people. The idea might be, “I don’t need anyone. Let me hurt them before they hurt me.”
Now this keeps you protected, but it also prevents intimacy and closeness.
The good thing is that trauma does not have to ruin your life.
How to kick trauma in the butt
The first step to kicking trauma’s butt is to take a look inward to see if you are indeed ready to do the work. Trauma therapy isn’t for the faint of heart.
If you realize that you are ready to work through your trauma, find yourself a great trauma therapist in Houston. One whose style matches your personality and your goals.
Figure out what style of therapy you want. There is basically talk therapy and non talk therapy. Talk therapy will have you doing a play by play of the trauma and talking through it. But my favorite is- brainspotting trauma therapy . This is a non traditional style of therapy in which we utilize your eye movements to help you access the deeper layers of your brain where trauma and big emotions live. Once we successfully do that, your body takes care of the rest. Brainspotting is basically the cousin on EMDR.
Neve heard of brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston? Watch my videos below.
If you are ready to stop letting trauma control your life, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Everything you need to know about trauma therapy in Houston
We’ve all heard about trauma. And it’s difficult to define. I simply tell my clients that trauma is anything that you define as trauma.
It’s that simple. If it left a mark and it feels like it has you in a chokehold, then it is trauma. I’m not a fan of invalidating your experiences.
But trauma is unfortunately everywhere. Even long after the event or events are over, trauma is a horrible thing that leaves its mark. You try to shake it off, but it seems to have seeped into your bones and pores.
We’ve all heard about trauma. And it’s difficult to define. I simply tell my clients that trauma is anything that you define as trauma.
It’s that simple. If it left a mark and it feels like it has you in a chokehold, then it is trauma. I’m not a fan of invalidating your experiences.
But trauma is unfortunately everywhere. Even long after the event or events are over, trauma is a horrible thing that leaves its mark. You try to shake it off, but it seems to have seeped into your bones and pores.
You lay awake thinking about that horrible thing that happened to you. You find that you’re no longer as friendly or as trusting of others as you used to be. The world now feels darker. Colder.
The good news is that even though trauma left you wounded, it’s possible for us to work together to begin to patch up the wounds. You might be left with some scars, but you don’t have to be permanently defeated.
Today I’m simply going to answer some questions you might have about trauma therapy in Houston. And I’ll let you decide if it’s for you.
Because at the end of the day, you know what’s best for you.
Is Trauma therapy Worth it?
Before you begin on your journey of healing, know that trauma therapy is not for the faint of heart. To heal your trauma, you might have to revisit some of the scary places in your mind. There will be tears, fear, anger, sadness, disdain, and all the other emotions in between, before you finally get to a place of healing, joy and peace.
If you are ready to begin to slowly peel off some of the protective layers that have kept you safe, then I’d say trauma therapy is well worth it for you. But if you are not yet ready to go there, then maybe it’s not the right time for you.
And that’s okay.
If you are thinking, “I’m ready to heal my trauma, but I’m not interested in giving my therapist a play by play of exactly what happened.” Then you have come to the right place. Because there are many different approaches to healing trauma.
With traditional talk therapy, you might have to talk about the exact details of what you experienced. But with a non traditional style like EMDR trauma therapy or Brainspotting trauma therapy, you do not have to go over the gory details of your trauma in order for therapy to be successful.
Click to watch my video “What exactly is brainspotting?
Click to watch my video “How does brainspotting work?
What is the difference between therapy and trauma therapy?
In my opinion, there really isn’t much of a difference. Therapy helps you work towards specific goals, while trauma therapy has its main goal as healing your trauma. Not every therapist is a fan of trauma therapy (because it does take a very specific set of skills to execute the work properly and there is also a risk of the therapist being traumatized too as they hear your stories).
So if you are going to do trauma therapy, ensure that your therapist is indeed a trauma therapist.
How do you know if your therapist is a trauma therapist? Just ask.
What makes a therapist a trauma therapist?
Training.
Let me give you a brief crash course in therapy education. When we get our masters degrees in social work, counseling, psychology or marriage and family therapy, we get an overview of different types of therapy. we are tauught about several different diagnoses and we get snippets on how to intervene. And we also get thousands of hours in face to face practice with real clients.
After we graduate, we can decide to pursue further training in whatever areas we feel will be beneficial to us and our clients.
For example, I have further training in Gottman method couples therapy, Dialectical Behavior therapy, Brainspotting trauma therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia, amongst many others.
In the case of trauma therapists, we have decided to pursue additional trainings in areas that could help our clients heal from trauma. My preference for trauma therapy is brainspotting hands down.
Why do I love brainspotting for trauma?
I like it because it is much gentler than talk therapy. I worked with clients on their traumas for years using traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and I struggled with it. It was exhausting to both me and them. I also found that it just didn't suit my clients who were sick and tired of talking about the gory details of their trauma over and over again.
Talking over and over again about something that has haunted you for years just didn’t seem so helpful.
Another struggle I faced with trauma therapy is it didn’t seem to be a good match for clients of certain cultures. And it is very important to me that I am able to hold space for clients from some of the non dominant cultures.
In some cultures, it really isn’t acceptable to tell everyone and their mama your business. And talk therapy is just that- telling your business.
But with brainspotting trauma therapy, my clients can work on their trauma in silence if they want to. They don’t have to come to me for years and years, and it is still very effective. Brainspotting gets the job done in a much shorter amount of time than talk therapy.
Boom! It’s a win for me and a win for my clients.
My goal as a therapist is to see my clients feel healed and free.
Which therapy is best for past trauma?
I am biased. My preferred approach for trauma therapy is definitely brainspotting. My clients have gotten great results from it. And I don’t change a winning strategy.
Now you can pretty much get great results from other types of trauma therapy, but brainspotting tends to get my clients results pretty quickly. Trauma therapy isn’t easy for anyone, so why not rip the bandage off quickly so we can zoom right on over to the healed part of us?
When not to do trauma therapy
Now although I am a great fan of trauma therapy and trying to stop trauma from controlling you, but trauma therapy isn’t for everyone.
If you do not feel you are ready to go looking for skeletons in your closet, then maybe trauma therapy isn’t for you.
If you do not feel like you are ready to commit to regular therapy sessions, then trauma therapy isn’t your jam.
If your therapist is not indeed a trauma therapist, then please find one.
If it is difficult for you to trust the process, then trauma therapy will be harder. There will be tears and discomfort before we get to the healing part.
And there you have it- some simple nuggets to answer your questions about trauma therapy in Houston.
If you are ready for trauma to stop controlling your entire existence and you want to finally heal what was broken, click here to schedule your free consultation call for brainspotting trauma therapy in Houston.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.
I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Trauma Therapist Houston: How Brainspotting Can Help You Heal
So how does brainspotting actually work?
It’s pretty simple. When you are having a conversation with someone, you’ll notice that their eyes move all over the place. Sometimes their eyes look up and to the right, other times, it’s down and to the left, and still, other times they might appear to be looking far away in the distance.
Before we dive in, here’s a link to a video and blog post on “What is brainspotting?
what is brainspotting and how does it actually work?
It’s pretty simple. When you are having a conversation with someone, you’ll notice that their eyes move all over the place. Sometimes their eyes look up and to the right, other times, it’s down and to the left, and still, other times they might appear to be looking far away in the distance.
But it really is all about your brain processing.
During brainspotting therapy, your therapist doesn’t do a lot of talking.
What to Expect from Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
They utilize your eye gaze to help your brain gently bring up important memories. Your therapist will ask you to focus on a specific point- the point at which your brain naturally wants you to focus on, so that it can process appropriately.
You are gently told to bring up the event or experience that you want to process. One of the ways I do this is with a pointer. I help you find the right spot for you to focus on- brainspotting therapists know how to do this.
What to Expect from Your First Session with a Trauma Therapist in Houston
I slowly bring the pointer across the screen (watch this video for the explanation. Start at 0:57 to see how I use my pointer). When I notice that your face makes certain reflex movements, I’ll stop the pointer. Then I ask that you continue to gaze at the spot while bringing up some of the experiences that brought you into therapy.
Another tool that I use in brainspotting therapy is biolateral music. Biolateral music is simply music that bounces back and forth- from left ear to right ear- in an unpredictable pattern, which allows your brain to process.
You will have headphones on, while the music is on very low volume, so you can still hear me talking and you can still follow my guidance. This entire process rewires your brain.
I won’t be doing a whole bunch of talking, my job is just to set it up, hold the space for you, and allow you to gently bring up those experiences that brought you into therapy.
On your own, you’ll be able to come up with all sorts of answers that you didn't know were inside you. The idea is that you already have the resources within you. You just need the right environment to bring them up.
It is you processing an event, your trauma, or your experiences, while looking at a certain spot. Where you look affects how you feel- is the premise behind brainspotting.
Brainspotting is useful for:
People who have experienced trauma.
People with anxiety or fear.
Athletes, performers and musicians who are stuck.
Entrepreneurs who want to get rid of mental blocks that stop them from making decisions.
If you are ready to finally heal from past trauma, anxiety or difficult experiences, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation to find out if brainspotting is right for you. I am a Black therapist who provides online therapy for people who live in California and Texas.
About the Author
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
What exactly is Brainspotting Therapy?
So what exactly is brainspotting? Maybe you've heard of brainspotting before and you're curious about it, or maybe you have no clue what I'm talking about. Before we jump in, know that brainspotting is very different from EMDR.
So what exactly is brainspotting? Maybe you've heard of brainspotting before and you're curious about it, or maybe you have no clue what I'm talking about. Before we jump in, know that brainspotting is very different from EMDR.
Brainspotting is different from EMDR
In my opinion it is way better, but of course I'm biased because I am a brainspotting therapist.
The idea behind brainspotting therapy is very simple.
It is that when we go through trauma, stress, or difficult experiences, they can get locked into certain parts of the brain.
The experiences get locked into the reptilian or subcortical part of your brain where your emotions are processed.
This often happens to maybe protect your body from the difficult emotions. Because if you spent all of your time thinking about all the big, difficult things that have happened in your life, you’d be paralyzed by fear, anxiety or overwhelm. So then your brain locks those emotions into one place.
Perhaps your body might not be ready to process those emotions yet, so it just protects them in the reptilian brain. However this becomes a problem, when the memories begin to interfere in your life.
The effects of locking up your emotions
You find yourself avoiding emotions altogether, or having a hard time regulating your emotions. Or the memories of the difficult experience keep popping back up, and you have no idea what to do with them.
Through the process of brainspotting, your therapist will help you unlock some of those emotions, so that you can better process them and heal your hurt brain.
The tools of Brainspotting
Some of the tools that I use in brainspotting are a pointer and biolateral music to help you dig into the subcortical brain.
The benefits of brainspotting
Brainspotting therapy is just a simple tool to help you unlock the emotions, trauma and experiences that have been trapped in your brain, so that you can process then and free yourself from pain. You leave the sessions feeling like a load has been lifted off your shoulders, and the memories that have felt unbearably scary, get less and less scary.
Brainspotting can be helpful for:
People who have experienced trauma.
People with anxiety or fear.
Athletes, performers and musicians who are stuck.
Entrepreneurs who want to get rid of mental blocks that stop them from making important decisions.
Here is a link to anther blog post and video on how brainspotting works.
If you are ready to heal your brain and try brainspotting therapy, click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call. I provide brainspotting in Temecula, Murrieta area and brainspotting in Houston, TX. I see clients throughout Texas and California online.
Ready to get rid of anxiety, finally kick insomnia or for marriage counseling?