Overwhelmed? Here's how to quickly calm your highly sensitive brain

One of the biggest struggles of high sensitivity is the constant feeling of overwhelm. Because you feel so deeply and you are processing stimuli around you so much, it is quite easy to fall into the trap of constant overwhelm.

Overwhelm isn’t something we can escape altogether, because everyone has seasons in which they are pulled to absolute capacity. However, when we are in those seasons, there are ways to take a step back and regain our calm.

Here’s how:

1) Turn off as much stimulation as you can

One of the fastest ways to quiet an overwhelmed mind is to turn off as much stimulation as you can. Think of your five senses.

If the lights around you are super bright, consider dimming them or moving to a space with very low light. If there's a lot of sound around you, turn some of it off. This could be your computer, your phone, your TV, or just step away for a moment from all the noise around you.

If you're wearing multiple layers or your clothing feels itchy or uncomfortable, it might be time to change into something more comfortable if you are able to do so. Turning off the immediate stimulation helps to quiet down some of the noise so that you can move through the other steps I'm about to talk about.

2) Do a positive replay of your day

If you are feeling completely overwhelmed, it might be time to think about what went well that day. Run your mind through some of the positive aspects of the day. This is the opposite of what we typically do- we think about everything we have going on and what is going wrong. Focus on 1 positive thing.

3) Get some sleep or rest

I have always had an obsession with sleep. One of the quickest ways to reset is just to lay down and close your eyes. Even if you're not able to sleep, just give your body a chance to restart or shut off for a moment. Power naps are typically helpful if you're able to do so, or just sit somewhere quiet and close your eyes for a while. When you're doing this, try really hard not to think about everything that you have going on. Just focus on the world around you think of sights, sounds and smells. Music can help to relax the mind and body.

4) Call a friend

One of the biggest traps that introverted highly sensitive people will fall into is the trap of isolation. When you have tried to unspiral yourself and it is not successful, it is very important that you have someone safe who you can turn to. This person does not even have to be highly sensitive, they just have to be somebody who is full of empathy. You can even pick a codeword with a friend. And the friend will just fill you with positivity, and help you shift your mind in a different direction. The goal is not for them to lie to you, the goal is just to help you shift your mind so that you can take a break and then go back into calm shape.

You in turn have to be comfortable with vulnerability and asking for help.

And there you have it. 4 simple ways to nip overwhelm in the bud.

Ready to master your sensitivity so you can reduce overwhelm, stand up for yourself and set better boundaries? Click here to schedule your free 15-min consult call.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali.

I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.

I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist also providing Christian marriage counseling in Houston and throughout California.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

4 common triggers for high sensitivity and how to manage them

Overwhelm is something you are all too familiar with. Your thoughts race constantly, you struggle to make seemingly easy decisions, or you find yourself regularly bursting into tears. It’s quite possible you are being triggered by one of these 4 things. Never fear, I’ve also included some ways to manage these triggers.

Remember that high sensitivity is not a disorder. It’s simply a part of who you are, and you can thrive once you understand it.

Not sure whether or not you are highly sensitive? Click here.

Here are 4 common triggers for highly sensitive people

1) Moving too fast

We live in a world in which things are moving faster and faster all the time. People are multitasking constantly- we even boast about getting 4 hours of sleep while juggling 3 businesses, 9 kids and a husband. As a highly sensitive woman, you might feel less than because you might not have the bandwidth to sustain such a lifestyle.

A life that moves at the speed of light can be a big trigger for highly sensitive people. Does that mean you can never become an ER physician or some other career that entails moving fast? Nope. It just means that you have to put systems in place that allow to care for yourself while in busy seasons.

This is where schedules and routines come in handy. Before rushing out in the morning, take a few minutes to get ready for the hectic day. Your cup has to be filled so that it doesn’t completely empty out.

That can look like:

• Having a good breakfast (hunger is a BIG trigger for us HSPs)

• Ensuring you get enough sleep at night

• Starting the day off slowly in prayer or Bible study (rather than with the TV, news or emails)

• Talking on the phone with an encouraging friend

• Prioritizing certain tasks, rather than trying to juggle too many things at once

• Learning to set good boundaries and say “No” when you are at capacity

2) Not enough alone time

Did you know that most highly sensitive people are introverts? Yup! But even if you are a highly sensitive extrovert, alone time is priceless. This is because of how highly sensitive people spend so much time deeply processing the world around them.

By the end of the day, it becomes so much that reducing stimulation is a great way to recharge.

What can that look like?

• Taking a few minutes to sit in the car to breathe and reset before facing the many people who depend on you at home.

• Have a ‘me time’ routine- which could look like whatever feels good to you- watching TV, reading, sewing, working out, sitting in silence (my favorite), etc. You make the rules. Try different things and see what works for you.

3) Hanging out with the wrong people

I am convinced that every highly sensitive person needs at least one healthy highly sensitive friend in their life. This does not mean that highly sensitive people are superior to non-highly sensitive people, it just means that it is sometimes nice to not have to explain yourself to others.

And it does not mean that all highly sensitive people are the same- we could still have disagreements, as not every highly sensitive person is necessarily empathetic or kind.

But when you constantly hang out with people who question your sensitivity, who speak unkindly to you, who make you feel small, or who dismiss your feelings, you will be triggered all day long.

So what do you do about this?

• Take stock of the relationships you currently have.

  Do they serve you well or is it just a one-way street? Do you feel happier when you are around your closest friends? Or do you have to pretend to be someone you are not? Remember that you have a voice and choice.

• Do a friendship edit.

  Once you have taken stock of the people around you, decide which ones are healthy, and which ones are not. You definitely will know people who are unhealthy, because they are the ones whose phone calls you dread taking. They also the ones you can be authentic with. Decide what you want to do with those relationships, do you want to continue to suffer, or are you able to speak to that person about how they hurt you? A safe friend listens and adjusts accordingly.

4) Ignoring your physical needs

Highly sensitive people tend to be more triggered by sickness, hunger and tiredness than their non sensitive colleagues. In a bid to want to ‘push through’ and ‘hustle,’ sometimes we ignore actual physical needs.

The fix?

• Stop skipping meals- even if everyone seems to do so.

• Take breaks when possible- again, even if others think you are ‘lazy’ or ‘low energy.’

• Take care of yourself when you aren’t feeling well. It’s okay to seek medical attention and NOT push through.

And there you have it.

Ready to ditch the constant overwhelm, finally learn how to stand up for yourself and finally make high sensitivity your super power? Click here to schedule a consultation call.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I am a licensed therapist and coach in Houston.

I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.

I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist also providing Christian marriage counseling in Houston and throughout California.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

What exactly is High Sensitivity? And how to cope with it (Part 2)

In my previous blog post, I discussed what high sensitivity actually is. I'll be breaking down the four characteristics of high sensitivity over the next few weeks.

Read the previous blog post here where I describe what high sensitivity is and I delve into depth of processing (the first characteristic of high sensitivity).

In this blog series, I’ll be sharing the 4 characteristics of high sensitivity, which are:

Depth of Processing (Read more about it here)

Overarousability

Emotional Intensity

Sensory Processing Sensitivity

I already went over depth of processing in my previous blog post. Depth of processing basically means thinking very deeply before making decisions. Some people might call it over analyzing.

In this post, I'll be talking about the second characteristic of high sensitivity which is over arousability.

To be over aroused simply means that your nervous system picks up stimuli more easily than others, thereby causing you to feel overwhelmed in a way. So the bright lights in the corner of the room might not affect anybody else, but you feel like they are piercing through your eyes.

As an anxiety therapist in Houston and a high sensitivity coach, this is often a complaint I get. HSPs often think something must be wrong with them- because they notice things no one else does.

The smell that is ever so slight, feels so pungent to you, but other people barely notice it. It is also possible to be under aroused when you're not picking up enough stimuli. When this happens, you tend to get bored. The struggle is sometimes people do the wrong things when they are under aroused such as drinking coffee or other stimulants, or turning the TV up too loud.

What you want is an optimal level of arousal.

Over arousal might even mean that you pick up stimuli like pain a lot easier than others- which means your pain tolerance might be lower than others’. This should be very important to discuss with your physician so that they can come up with a great treatment plan for you.

Highly sensitive people can also be easily aroused by stimuli inside their bodies, such as hunger, thirst, and tiredness. This is why it is important to eat at the appropriate times and take care of your physical body, so that it doesn't negatively affect your mood. It might be the reason why you act like a grouch when you are hungry, and other people tend to be able to stay longer periods of time without food. Do not compare yourself to other people. You are a unique human and that's just OK.

Highly sensitive people have different levels of arousal, so this means one highly sensitive person might notice all the smells, and another person might not even pick up on them at all. Or one highly sensitive person might have very sensitive hearing, while the other does not.

So how does one manage over arousability?

1. Take a break.

   If you find yourself in a crowded room, where they are too many people around you, the volume is high, everybody is sweating, and there are lots of perfumes in the room, rather than powering through it- which is what most highly sensitive people tend to do- just take a break.

   You can head over to the bathroom to breathe for a few minutes, go outside for some fresh air, or you can sit and take a look at your phone to just give you a distraction in the moment. You also do not have to stay at events for very long. Normalize popping in and popping out.

2. Utilize mindfulness skills.

   Mindfulness simply means being present in the moment and focusing on one external sensation or internal sensation to allow your body to be calm. So while you're in that very loud, uncomfortable room, start to slow your breathing down.

   Take a few deep breaths in and a few deep breaths out, and focus on the breath. If taking a deep breath is difficult for you, then just notice your breath as it is. Notice air fill your lungs and move out of it. Doing this one simple action gets your brain off the external overstimulation that you're experiencing. Click here to watch some of my mindfulness videos.

3. Spend some time in nature.

   Highly sensitive people tend to LOVE nature. We tend to enjoy the trees, the sound of chirping birds, the feeling of the breeze on our skin, looking around and just enjoying the calm.

   You do not have to wait until you are overstimulated to enjoy nature. If you live in a beautiful, serene environment, make nature walks a part of your schedule. Even something as little as sitting near a window can help. If you don’t live in a serene environment and you don’t have windows, pull up a video online and imagine yourself walking through a peaceful neighborhood.

4. Change your environment.

   If you find yourself completely over aroused by the same people or situations over and over again, then maybe it is time to go somewhere else. If you are around the same over arousing friend who seems to not respect your boundaries- even after you have set the boundaries 1 million times- then maybe it's time to change that.

   Or if you live in an especially loud part of town, and you have the ability to move to a quieter apartment, or home, take advantage of that. Your job is not to be a martyr. You are allowed to be happy.

5. If you have some level of control over the situation, then change the situation.

   For example if you're sitting in your home and you just notice that overwhelming feeling of anxiety, turn down the simulation. You can do this by thinking about your five senses.

   You can reduce the sound of the TV or turn it off, you can adjust the temperature on the thermostat, you can turn off any irritating smells or put on a calming smell.

   You can also visualize something pretty. This is why it is important to surround yourself and your home or working environment with pretty things. They do not have to be expensive. They just have to be pretty to you.

6. Shock your nervous system.

   And if you want to completely shock your nervous system, a quick trick is to splash little bit of cold water on your face or at the back of your neck. You can also drink a nice glass of cold water, or go outside into the cold for a few seconds. This will shock your nervous system and get it to reset.

7. Utilize positive self talk.

   Positive self talk is a simple way to help you feel safe. Think about it as being your own encourager or cheerleader. It is important to remind yourself that you are actually safe. This prevents your mind from racing, will hopefully slow down your heart rate and prevent you from moving into fear, anxiety or sheer panic.

If you are truly ready to learn more about how to turn your high sensitivity into your superpower, how to manage big emotions, stop people pleasing and stand up for yourself, click here to schedule a free 20 minute breakthrough call so that we can work together.

Family drama no more: How to survive family holiday events without stress or drama

The holidays are upon us. If you happen to be blessed with amazing family dynamics, then you’re probably looking forward to sitting down to a good meal with your loved ones. But if you are like millions of people out there, you cringe at the thought of yet another family gathering. Because your family is known for shade, side eyes, underhanded comments, and a general feeling of thick tension in the air.

Well, never fear, here are some simple tips to help you survive the holidays this year.

The first thing to ask yourself is “Should I actually be attending family events this year?”

Yes, I know people say, “Blood is thicker than water,” but if blood will demean you, drive you nuts or leave you in tears, perhaps you might want to skip the gatherings altogether.

Please note that I’m not a big fan of canceling people or cutting them off, but if your family situation truly is toxic, you might have to sit this one out for your peace of mind. Your holidays can be spent alone or with other loved ones. Sometimes our friends can quickly become family.

Who says every holiday must be spent with family?

Once you have decided to actually go to family events, the following guidelines will save you from a heart attack.

Decide how long you will stay at the event

Because your family gets together for 8 hours on Thanksgiving Day, preps the meal together, sets the table together, then cleans up together, does not mean you have to follow that tradition. If you can only stomach them for 2 hours at a time, you decide when to show up and when to leave.

Yes, they’ll make a big fuss about you either leaving early or arriving late, but your peace of mind will be intact. Go in there, make the rounds and leave with your dignity intact.

That’s what we are aiming for this year.

Stay away from hot button topics and nosey aunties

If you’ve spent a lot of time with your family, you definitely know what topics you cannot discuss. In some families it’s politics. In others, it’s religion. And for others it could be issues around marriage, career plans, where you choose to live, child rearing issues, etc. Know the hot button topics and stay away from them at all costs.

If someone decides to bring those topics up (I’m referring to the nosey, fire starting aunties, then you can politely decide not to engage). Here’s what you can say:

“I’m not comfortable discussing that at this time.”

If they continue to query you, put your big girl pants on and stand your ground. No one can get you to discuss something you’re not ready for. No one.

Stick with the cool family members

Even though your family might be filled with troublesome characters, you probably have 1 or 2 cool family members left. You know, the quiet cousin who sits in the corner because she doesn’t like drama. Or the uncle who is positioned in front of the TV because he doesn’t care for gossip.

Find the cool, level headed family members and make them your buddies during the event. They’ll probably appreciate you for doing that because they don’t care for family drama either.

Stay away from lies

When we find ourselves in a pickle, sometimes we revert to our 7 year old selves and we spew tons of lies to protect ourselves. For example, if Aunt Margaret asks you “Why are you 2 hours late to dinner?” you feel like you’re in trouble and you start to tell an entire tale to save yourself.

You are no longer a child and Aunt Margaret has no control over you. Answer her like the adult that you are. You don’t have to be rude, but you don’t have to lie either. A big part of gaining peace of mind is being able to be yourself, regardless of what your family thinks.

There you have it. Some simple tips to help your holiday festivities feel a little more festive.

If you are sick and tired of being controlled by gossiping aunties and a toxic family, and you are ready to learn how to be an adult again, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call with me. I’m a licensed therapist in CA and TX, and helping to set people free from the bondage of a toxic family, is one of my favorite things to do.

I hope you enjoy your holiday season!

Questions to ask a prospective counselor or therapist in Houston

You’ve been searching for a therapist in Houston for a while. You've asked every friend you know, and looked in every therapist directory possible. Now you have a short list of therapists in Houston and you're not sure exactly what to ask them or how to know if this is the right therapist for you.

Well I've got you.

Here are some questions that you can ask a prospective therapist in Houston before you begin your therapy journey.

1) What is your therapy specialty?/What types of therapy clients do you typically work with?

Therapists in Houston have specialties just like physicians. Not every therapist in Houston is a Jack of all trades. Now don't get me wrong, there are some counselors in Houston who see a long list of people- such as people with anxiety, people with depression, people with trauma, children, adults, older adults, and everyone in between. However, most therapists have a specific population that they absolutely love to work with, and are also incredibly skilled at working with them.

So to make your life easy, ask your therapist exactly who they love to work with, so that you can decide if you fit in that category. It is important that you therapist enjoys working with you just as much as you enjoy working with them. I happen to be a Black therapist in Houston who is particularly skilled in anxiety therapy.

2) How long does your average therapy client typically work with you?

Some therapists in Houston are skilled at long-term therapy- seeing clients for years and years, or seeing clients with very severe mental health needs. While other therapists strongly believe in a short term model.

They often will see clients with mild to moderate needs, and they will graduate therapy within a few weeks months or even a year. Some clients are willing to be in therapy for as long as it takes for their struggles to finally be resolved.

However some people only want to be in therapy for a short period of time. It is important that your ideal situation matches the way your therapist works. If you go into therapy with the intention of seeing your therapist long-term, but your therapist happens to be a short term therapist, there will be a mismatch. It is important that you get this ironed out at the outset of therapy, so that there are no surprises.

3) What is your therapy style like?

It is also very important that your therapist’s style matches your personality. You can go to a therapist in Houston who has seven PhD's and wrote the book on therapy, however if their style does not work with your personality and your own emotional needs, therapy will absolutely fall flat.

For example, I use a lot of humor in my therapy sessions. I tend to be a little bit loud, I throw in a lot of laughter, and I also throw in a little bit of shade- what can I say? I’m a Black therapist in Houston who shows up as myself. If you are looking for a therapist who is much more reserved, extremely laid-back, and shows up looking very formal, then you'll find me absolutely irritating.

I also believe that you are the leader in the therapy room. Even though I have the education and the skills to guide you, I do not give you advice, and I absolutely will not tell you what to do. I help you figure out what the answer is, as I believe that it is already lying on the inside of you. I just have to guide you there.

With some of my clients, I don't do talk therapy- I do brainspotting therapy in Houston. Most of my clients liken it to EMDR. During brainspotting therapy, I will utilize some techniques to help you tap into the emotional side of your brain, thereby unlocking emotions that have been trapped, giving you insight and healing your brain. Brainspotting therapy in Houston is great for healing trauma and anxiety. This involves very little talking, but it is very effective. Click here to read more about brainspotting therapy in Houston.

4) Have you ever worked with clients who are struggling with [insert your issue]

It is important that your therapist has some experience in working on some of the issues that you are struggling with. After all, you do not want to be a lab rat. So, if you have wondered if your therapist has worked with somebody who is super independent, tries to fix everyone, and carries their entire family on their back, then ask your therapist. We will be honest with you and let you know whether or not we are able to help you. At least that is my policy. I only see clients whom I am confident that I can help. I would much rather refer you to another therapist in Houston, than waste your time or let you down. And if you specifically want a Black therapist in Houston, I’ll help you find one.

5) How often will we meet?

This is extremely important so that you can schedule your time and budget appropriately. Some therapists meet with their clients every week. Others meet with their clients every other week, and some therapist in Huston will want to meet in a more sporadic fashion.

I meet with new therapy clients every week, and as you get closer to graduating therapy (you’ll know when you’re ready because we check in periodically to check out your progress), we will go down to every other week and set a date for a last therapy session. I do have clients who see me once a month or as needed. However it is important that you know what to expect before you begin working with a therapist.

6) What are your fees and payments?

One of the most common misconceptions about therapy is that therapy is not affordable for everyone. These days, many insurance companies know that our mental health is just as important as a physical health. When you are working with a therapist in Houston, and if you choose to go through your insurance, ask them about their fees and if they will be billing your insurance. That way you know what your co-pay is, you can set a therapy budget, and there will be no surprises in your future.

Please know that if you choose to go through your insurance company, you should probably call them before you begin therapy so that you can find out how many sessions they will approve, what your out-of-pocket cost will be, as well as all the other benefits that come with your insurance. I wouldn’t want you to have any surprises.

7) What is your cancellation policy?

Many therapists in Houston work on a fee-for-service basis. This means we get paid when you come into session. Because of this, we often have cancellation policies for no-shows. Before you go into therapy, ask your therapist if they have a cancellation policy and what the policy is.

Some therapists in Houston will charge you a nominal fee if you miss a session without letting them know. Other therapists will charge you the full session fee if you do not give them a 24 or 48-hour notice. Ensure you know what policy they have so that you can adjust your life accordingly.

There you have it. These are some simple questions that you should ask a prospective therapist so that you can get ready for your first therapy session.

And if you are ready to begin the journey of healing from trauma, anxiety or an extremely boring or unfulfilled marriage, click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call. I am a Black anxiety therapist in Houston who believes that everyone can benefit from therapy.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

The Top 9 Myths about counseling and therapy in Houston

Houston is a very beautiful place to live. However, the hustle and bustle, and the endless driving could leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Perhaps you've tried to work through your feelings on your own, and you feel like it's time for therapy. The problem is you've heard so many negative things about therapy, and you’re not sure what to believe. I'm here to clear the air.

Here are some common myths about counseling or therapy in the Houston area.

1) Therapy or counseling in Houston is just for White people

I've heard it said a million times that Black people (or non-White people) do not go to therapy. However I could not think of anything that is further from the truth. As long as you're a human with a brain and actual emotions, chances are that you can benefit from therapy.

As a Black therapist in Houston myself, I promise you that I have seen clients from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds. Therapy is not just for White people, therapy is a great way to break through the intergenerational trauma that we often experience as Black people.

Therapy is a great way to learn to set great boundaries with loved ones and family members, and therapy is a way to self reflect and offload.

Plus there are only so many blogs, self help books and Tik Tok videos to help you. Cut through the noise and get yourself a professional therapist in Houston.

2) Therapy or counseling is just for ‘crazy’ people

First of all let me just mention how much I hate the term ‘Crazy.’ I don't believe there's any such thing as a crazy person. There are only humans who are absolutely trying their best to maneuver life situations.

And no, you do not have to be crazy, on the verge of a psychological breakdown, or about to break up a relationship before you begin therapy in Houston.

Actually, I recommend that you go to therapy before you’ve reached your breaking point. After all, why not prevent a breakdown altogether?

3) Going to therapy is just like talking to your best friend

First of all, your therapist is absolutely not your friend. You will not be hanging out in coffee shops with your therapist, you won't be going to Sunday brunch with your therapist, and your therapist will probably not be attending your birthday party. Your therapist’s job is to help you accomplish your mental health goals, and to help you see your blind spots.

My job is simply to act as a guide so that you can improve your emotional health, your relationships, and it will even trickle into your career life. You'll find that your self-esteem will improve and we keep it confidential.

Unlike your friends, I do not sugar coat as your counselor. I do want you to thrive and succeed, however my job is to guide you and help you find deeper insight about your emotions and experiences.

4) Therapy is only for people who have experienced trauma or for people who are in deep emotional distress

Therapy is really different in real life. It is not like in the movies. Typically, the heroine of the movie goes through deep emotional distress, then when she's at her lowest point, she then plops herself onto the couch of a wonderful therapist who changes her life.

This is not real life.

Sometimes therapy doesn’t even involve a couch. There are many amazing online therapists in Houston.

You do not have to be in a crisis to go work with a therapist in Houston or a counselor in Houston. Some people go to therapy because they are trying to adjust to what life is throwing at them. Some work with a therapist in Houston after they change their job. Some seek counseling in Houston so they can better manage a separation in their relationship. Relationship counseling in Houston is also very common and helpful.

While others learn how to set healthy boundaries, to overcome phobias, and a whole list of issues.

If you are experiencing any type of emotional distress- even a mild one-then you could benefit from therapy.

5) You have to spend several years in therapy

Some people believe that once they start therapy they'll have to continue for the rest of their lives. Some therapists do engage in deep, long-term therapy, but not everyone has to be in therapy for a very long time.

Being in therapy for years also isn’t bad. However some people just need a few sessions and then they're able to move on.

Many of my clients come in, roll up their sleeves, work on their goals, and when they are feeling much better, we make a plan to graduate therapy.

Some are in therapy for six sessions, and some do see me for years. It really all depends on what you want to dive into and the circumstances of your life.

6) All therapists in Houston ever do is just nod and smile

If you've combed through my website, then you know that I say that I am not ‘A nod and smile therapist.’ Unlike the therapists in the movies who wear two-piece suits with pumps, are chained to a notebook and pen, and also stare at you blankly, while nodding and smiling. Then they take a break from their note taking and ask you "How do you feel?" I am not that one.

My job as a therapist in Houston is to help you dive deep into your life so that you can actually reach the goals that you came in to see me for. I speak like a human, I smile, I raise my eyebrows, I cackle a little bit, and sometimes my clients say that I do throw them some shade.

What can I say? I can’t help myself.

Yes, sometimes we do have belly laughs in therapy, but I promise you that therapy is a whole lot more than me nodding and smiling blankly. If that is all therapy was then it would be a complete waste of your time and mine.

7) My insurance won’t cover therapy in Houston/ I won’t be able to afford therapy

These days, there are so many options for therapy in Houston. Insurance companies are understanding that our emotional health is just as important as our physical health.

So if you are thinking about going to therapy, the first step would be to contact your insurance company and find out more about your mental health benefits. Some insurance companies will want you to see a therapist in Houston that is within their network. While others a bit more flexible with it. Some will put a cap on the number of therapy or counseling sessions you can have within a time period. You’ll never know if you don’t ask. So ask. Don’t use assume you can’t afford therapy.

8) Christians cannot/should not go to therapy

As a Christian therapist in Houston who integrates faith with mental health, I know firsthand the importance of taking care of our mental health as people of faith. I see Christians in therapy all the time, and yes you can talk to me about Jesus, the Bible, as well as the leading of the Holy Spirit. No, I will not think that you are crazy, and yes I do welcome people talking to me about what the Lord is saying to them. If Christians do not take care of their mental health, how does that help us?

9) My therapist will blame my parents or my upbringing for my struggles

We are now in the 21st-century. Gone are the days when all therapists did was blame your mother for your struggles. We now know that there are so many other factors that make you who you are. My job is not to castigate your entire family. My job is to give you a deeper understanding of who you are, and to help you become who you want to be. Sometimes we talk about your upbringing, and sometimes we do not, however I do have the highest level of respect for you and your family.

If you are sick and tired of being a people pleaser, the responsible one in your family, or battling anxiety, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call with me. As an anxiety therapist in Houston, I’ll help you finally move from survival mode to thriving mode. You deserve a life free of anxiety.

About The Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.