What does a therapist actually do?
Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist, but you’re not sure if it’s the right move for you? Maybe your family has told you that you shouldn’t tell your business in public. Or your friends have said to you, “Seeing a therapist is a waste of money.”
Well today, I’m going to talk a little bit about what we do as therapists and how a therapy session is different than just talking to your friends and family. And here are a few things you should know about the relationship between a therapist and a client.
Your therapist is not your friend
It’s first of all important to understand that your therapist is really different from your friends. Your friends might hold back because they feel obligated to just nod and smile. But your therapist understands that you are here in session to grow and change. We are able to tell you truths that your friends are too scared to talk about, but we do it in a way that doesn’t hurt you.
Sometimes your friends and family members don’t have the insight that we have as therapists and because they are too emotionally invested in you, they aren’t able to see clearly enough to help you through your struggles. As therapists, we are typically able to put our feelings aside at the appropriate moments so that we can get you to your goal.
Your therapist can help you with your trauma
There are many therapists who specialize in treating trauma. Because of our years of training, we are able to help you to talk about, think about and work through traumatic events in your life so that those memories no longer control you. We understand that sometimes, difficult events from your past change you in a deeply personal way.
While your friends might not be able to understand trauma, or you might not even feel comfortable discussing such personal events with friends and family, your therapist allows you to discuss the darkest parts of your life and we show you how to work through that darkness so that it no longer consumes you. By the way, it’s actually possible to work through trauma without discussing every single detail of your trauma. With our training, we are careful not to blame you, re-traumatize you or make you feel invalidated. We know how sensitive trauma is, and we take great care not to cause you any more harm.
Your therapist can help you manage difficult family dynamics
Not everyone is born into the perfect cookie cutter family. Maybe your family members argue all the time, yell at you and have caused deep pain. Even as an adult, sometimes it’s difficult to maneuver an unsupportive family. Your therapist can teach you how to find support and ways to be assertive- even when your family isn’t giving you what you need. We help you work through the pain that comes from a difficult family and we show you how to grow- even if your family members decide to never change their ways. This is great news. You don’t have to be stuck in life because of your family of origin.
Your therapist can help you sleep
Did you know that your therapist can actually teach your strategies to help you get over insomnia? It’s the best kept secret. There is a treatment called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT I or CBTI). It’s a 5 to 7 session treatment that shows you how to change your sleep patterns so that you can actually fall asleep and stay asleep. Not every therapist or physician knows about this treatment. But a few therapists who are specially trained are able to help you get rid of insomnia, get off sleeping pills (with supervision from your prescribing physician) and finally stop dreading nighttime. I happen to be a CBTi therapist. Click here to find out more about this insomnia treatment.
Your therapist can help you find your voice again
This is one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes you find yourself going through the motions and you’re unsure if this is the type of life you want to live. You get stuck in the role of people pleaser and you just want to be able to speak your mind. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past by overzealous, angry people or you’re scared that you’ll hurt people’s feelings if you speak up.
A great therapist can help you understand why you feel the need to people please, he or she can help you learn solid communication skills so that you know how to effectively tell people what you need, and a great therapist can also teach you how to handle negative feedback appropriately. Who knew that therapists could help you with communication?
Your therapist can help you understand yourself better
One group of people I love to work with are highly sensitive introverts. What’s a Highly Sensitive Person? Click here to find out more about Highly Sensitive People. In summary, HSPs are able to notice little nuances in the environment that others don’t notice, they sometimes say they feel the emotions of others easily, they take some time to observe their environment before jumping in and they tend to need more time than most people to recharge after socializing with others. Being a HSP isn’t a disorder or an illness. It’s simply a trait like brown hair or blue eyes. A trained therapist can help you figure out how to enjoy your life- even as a HSP.
Even if you’re not a HSP, your therapist can help you better understand why you do the things that you do, feel the things that you feel and why you are who you are. When you understand how you environment and temperament affect your decisions, it helps you maneuver life so much easier.
Will you ever be willing to see a therapist? As you can see, we do so much more than just nodding and validating your feelings. Depending on the theoretical orientation of the therapist, we could help you understand yourself better, maneuver a difficult family or life situation, manage anxiety, depression and trauma, and we can really help you reach personal goals.
If you are ready to manage your anxiety, insomnia or improve your relationship, click here to request a free 15-minute phone consultation with me- a therapist in the Murrieta/Temecula area. It’s time to finally overcome anxiety, get the sleep you deserve and improve your relationship.
