Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA & TX
Overwhelmed? Here's how to quickly calm your highly sensitive brain
One of the biggest struggles of high sensitivity is the constant feeling of overwhelm. Because you feel so deeply and you are processing stimuli around you so much, it is quite easy to fall into the trap of constant overwhelm.
Overwhelm isn’t something we can escape altogether, because everyone has seasons in which they are pulled to absolute capacity. However, when we are in those seasons, there are ways to take a step back and regain our calm.
Here’s how:
1) Turn off as much stimulation as you can
One of the fastest ways to quiet an overwhelmed mind is to turn off as much stimulation as you can. Think of your five senses.
If the lights around you are super bright, consider dimming them or moving to a space with very low light. If there's a lot of sound around you, turn some of it off. This could be your computer, your phone, your TV, or just step away for a moment from all the noise around you.
If you're wearing multiple layers or your clothing feels itchy or uncomfortable, it might be time to change into something more comfortable if you are able to do so. Turning off the immediate stimulation helps to quiet down some of the noise so that you can move through the other steps I'm about to talk about.
2) Do a positive replay of your day
If you are feeling completely overwhelmed, it might be time to think about what went well that day. Run your mind through some of the positive aspects of the day. This is the opposite of what we typically do- we think about everything we have going on and what is going wrong. Focus on 1 positive thing.
3) Get some sleep or rest
I have always had an obsession with sleep. One of the quickest ways to reset is just to lay down and close your eyes. Even if you're not able to sleep, just give your body a chance to restart or shut off for a moment. Power naps are typically helpful if you're able to do so, or just sit somewhere quiet and close your eyes for a while. When you're doing this, try really hard not to think about everything that you have going on. Just focus on the world around you think of sights, sounds and smells. Music can help to relax the mind and body.
4) Call a friend
One of the biggest traps that introverted highly sensitive people will fall into is the trap of isolation. When you have tried to unspiral yourself and it is not successful, it is very important that you have someone safe who you can turn to. This person does not even have to be highly sensitive, they just have to be somebody who is full of empathy. You can even pick a codeword with a friend. And the friend will just fill you with positivity, and help you shift your mind in a different direction. The goal is not for them to lie to you, the goal is just to help you shift your mind so that you can take a break and then go back into calm shape.
You in turn have to be comfortable with vulnerability and asking for help.
And there you have it. 4 simple ways to nip overwhelm in the bud.
Ready to master your sensitivity so you can reduce overwhelm, stand up for yourself and set better boundaries? Click here to schedule your free 15-min consult call.
About Me
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali.
I teach highly sensitive women how to stand up for themselves, set clear, kind boundaries and create solid relationships.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.
What exactly is High Sensitivity? And how to cope with it (Part 4)
In my previous 3 blog posts, I have been sharing about the 4 characteristics of high sensitivity and simple ways to manage them. If you want to find out whether or not you are highly sensitive, take Dr Elaine Aron’s self test here.
In my 3 previous blog posts, I talked about;
Depth of Processing (Click here to read about it)
Overarousability (Click here to read about it)
Emotional Intensity (Click here to read about it)
And in this blog post, I’ll tackle Sensory Processing Sensitivity, which is the 4th characteristic of high sensitivity.
What exactly is sensory processing sensitivity?
Have you ever felt the itchy tag at the back of your shirt that drives you nuts? Or the seam in your socks that no one seems to notice? Or do you tend to feel cold when everyone else is fine? Maybe you have always had sensitive skin, or you pick up slight noises easily?
That’s sensory processing sensitivity. Your actual senses seem to be on overdrive.
People around you might not understand how you notice things like this. Maybe all the stimuli around you actually gives you a tummy ache or a headache. Or you seem to be bothered by certain fabrics, your foods touching, your hair being brushed, or shoes not fitting correctly. This could make you feel like something is wrong with you.
It is important to state here that you should probably first go to the physician to ensure that nothing is actually wrong, as we do not want to brush everything off as high sensitivity. Sometimes people actually do have allergies or actual physical disorders. So get that checked out first.
But if all of that pans out and you find out that you are actually highly sensitive, here are some things you might do about it:
How to cope with sensory processing sensitivity
One of the best ways to cope with sensory processing sensitivity is to set your home and work environment up for success. Think about taking care of your five senses.
Smell
Ensure your home, car, closet and work environments are aired out regularly if possible. That eliminates stale smells that could cause you to gag or feel uncomfortable. If you have specific scents that you like, consider getting some type of air freshener, candles or essential oils to create relaxing or refreshing smells all around you. You could even include fresh flowers or plants to help oxygenate the indoor air.
Sight
Clutter is the enemy of every highly sensitive person. Even if you are the most disorganized person on the earth, it will still drive you nuts. Come up with a very simple tidy up routine that you can do every night. I personally find it easier to tidy up as I go. If you struggle with being disorganized, this book will really help you thrive.
Minimalist decor also presents you with less clutter for you to look at or stimuli for you to notice.
Sound
When searching for an apartment or a home, if you can avoid it, avoid living on a busy intersection. The sound of traffic will most likely bother you. You might also try sleeping with a white noise machine or the sounds of nature to drown out environmental noises. Think about the sound of the appliances in your home. Things like televisions, radios, music or other appliances should be put into consideration. Having too many noises on at the same time can be overstimulating. For example, if your TV, computer and phone are going at the same time, it could become an issue for you.
Touch
Include soft and comfortable textures in your home or office decor. Buy furniture that feels warm and cozy in the winter, and cool in the summertime.
Although leather furniture tends to look appealing to the eye, it is often hot to sit on in the summer and pretty cold in the winter. Leather also tends to stick to the skin when you sweat.
Only buy clothes that feel comfortable. Although we all want to wear the latest fashions, you will feel miserable if your fabric feels itchy and non-breathable. Include items cozy socks, and warm breathable bedding and pajamas in your home.
Also be aware of the temperature you set your thermostat to- nothing too hot or too cold. Cool will feel the best.
Taste
Some highly sensitive people cannot handle certain foods due to their smell, texture or taste. Do not force yourself to eat these foods- even if they are a cultural norm. Get used to setting boundaries and letting people know your food preferences.
If you are a highly sensitive woman who is ready to turn sensitivity into your superpower, manage BIG emotions, set clear boundaries and stop people pleasing, click here to schedule your free 20-min breakthrough call so we can work together.
What exactly is High Sensitivity? And how to cope with it (Part 2)
Over arousal simply means that your nervous system picks up stimuli more easily than others. So the bright lights in the corner of the room might not affect anybody else, but you feel like they are piercing through your eyes. Here is how to manage over arousal as a highly sensitive person.
In my previous blog post, I discussed what high sensitivity actually is. I'll be breaking down the four characteristics of high sensitivity over the next few weeks.
In this blog series, I’ll be sharing the 4 characteristics of high sensitivity, which are:
Depth of Processing (Read more about it here)
Overarousability
Emotional Intensity
Sensory Processing Sensitivity
I already went over depth of processing in my previous blog post. Depth of processing basically means thinking very deeply before making decisions. Some people might call it over analyzing.
In this post, I'll be talking about the second characteristic of high sensitivity which is over arousability.
To be over aroused simply means that your nervous system picks up stimuli more easily than others, thereby causing you to feel overwhelmed in a way. So the bright lights in the corner of the room might not affect anybody else, but you feel like they are piercing through your eyes.
As an anxiety therapist in Houston and a high sensitivity coach, this is often a complaint I get. HSPs often think something must be wrong with them- because they notice things no one else does.
The smell that is ever so slight, feels so pungent to you, but other people barely notice it. It is also possible to be under aroused when you're not picking up enough stimuli. When this happens, you tend to get bored. The struggle is sometimes people do the wrong things when they are under aroused such as drinking coffee or other stimulants, or turning the TV up too loud.
What you want is an optimal level of arousal.
Over arousal might even mean that you pick up stimuli like pain a lot easier than others- which means your pain tolerance might be lower than others’. This should be very important to discuss with your physician so that they can come up with a great treatment plan for you.
Highly sensitive people can also be easily aroused by stimuli inside their bodies, such as hunger, thirst, and tiredness. This is why it is important to eat at the appropriate times and take care of your physical body, so that it doesn't negatively affect your mood. It might be the reason why you act like a grouch when you are hungry, and other people tend to be able to stay longer periods of time without food. Do not compare yourself to other people. You are a unique human and that's just OK.
Highly sensitive people have different levels of arousal, so this means one highly sensitive person might notice all the smells, and another person might not even pick up on them at all. Or one highly sensitive person might have very sensitive hearing, while the other does not.
So how does one manage over arousability?
Take a break.
If you find yourself in a crowded room, where they are too many people around you, the volume is high, everybody is sweating, and there are lots of perfumes in the room, rather than powering through it- which is what most highly sensitive people tend to do- just take a break.
You can head over to the bathroom to breathe for a few minutes, go outside for some fresh air, or you can sit and take a look at your phone to just give you a distraction in the moment. You also do not have to stay at events for very long. Normalize popping in and popping out.
Utilize mindfulness skills.
Mindfulness simply means being present in the moment and focusing on one external sensation or internal sensation to allow your body to be calm. So while you're in that very loud, uncomfortable room, start to slow your breathing down.
Take a few deep breaths in and a few deep breaths out, and focus on the breath. If taking a deep breath is difficult for you, then just notice your breath as it is. Notice air fill your lungs and move out of it. Doing this one simple action gets your brain off the external overstimulation that you're experiencing. Click here to watch some of my mindfulness videos.
Spend some time in nature.
Highly sensitive people tend to LOVE nature. We tend to enjoy the trees, the sound of chirping birds, the feeling of the breeze on our skin, looking around and just enjoying the calm.
You do not have to wait until you are overstimulated to enjoy nature. If you live in a beautiful, serene environment, make nature walks a part of your schedule. Even something as little as sitting near a window can help. If you don’t live in a serene environment and you don’t have windows, pull up a video online and imagine yourself walking through a peaceful neighborhood.
Change your environment.
If you find yourself completely over aroused by the same people or situations over and over again, then maybe it is time to go somewhere else. If you are around the same over arousing friend who seems to not respect your boundaries- even after you have set the boundaries 1 million times- then maybe it's time to change that.
Or if you live in an especially loud part of town, and you have the ability to move to a quieter apartment, or home, take advantage of that. Your job is not to be a martyr. You are allowed to be happy.
If you have some level of control over the situation, then change the situation.
For example if you're sitting in your home and you just notice that overwhelming feeling of anxiety, turn down the simulation. You can do this by thinking about your five senses.
You can reduce the sound of the TV or turn it off, you can adjust the temperature on the thermostat, you can turn off any irritating smells or put on a calming smell.
You can also visualize something pretty. This is why it is important to surround yourself and your home or working environment with pretty things. They do not have to be expensive. They just have to be pretty to you.
Shock your nervous system.
And if you want to completely shock your nervous system, a quick trick is to splash little bit of cold water on your face or at the back of your neck. You can also drink a nice glass of cold water, or go outside into the cold for a few seconds. This will shock your nervous system and get it to reset.
Utilize positive self talk.
Positive self talk is a simple way to help you feel safe. Think about it as being your own encourager or cheerleader. It is important to remind yourself that you are actually safe. This prevents your mind from racing, will hopefully slow down your heart rate and prevent you from moving into fear, anxiety or sheer panic.
If you are truly ready to learn more about how to turn your high sensitivity into your superpower, how to manage big emotions, stop people pleasing and stand up for yourself, click here to schedule a free 20 minute breakthrough call so that we can work together.
Ready to get rid of anxiety, finally kick insomnia or for marriage counseling?