COVID-19 and your marriage: How to navigate working from home with your spouse

Working from home can be a challenge if you have never done it before. Working from home is a double challenge when you and your spouse are doing it together.

But the great thing is that if you are intentional about it, it could work great for the both of you. Here are 5 simple tips to help you and your spouse survive working from home together.

1) Have a plan for the day

If you and your spouse are to have a peaceful home while working at home simultaneously, it’s important to plan out your day in a way that will work well for the entire family. If you have school aged kids, chances are you are now homeschool parents. Have a conversation about how to split the kids’ work. Sync your schedules so that each of you knows who is in charge of which tasks around the home. If you want to be really organized, you can actually create a Trello board or a written out plan of what your schedules should be.

Talk about who is in charge of meals, cleaning, when both of you will be taking breaks, where each of you will be working within the house, and of course, who will be helping the kids out with their school work. Without an actual plan, I can assure you that the transition to working from home will be quite chaotic. Split up chores so that the house still remains organized while you are working.

I highly suggest trying to have meal times together if possible. The beauty of having the family home is that you all get to really bond and enjoy one another. It’s such a luxury in this fast paced society.

2) Check on your spouse during the workday

If you and your spouse are working from different areas of the home, check up on him or her during the work day. You can send a text or even just pop your head in to say “Hello.” It might sound corny or weird, but everyone likes to be checked on. It shows a whole lot of care and it helps you both strengthen your friendship.

3) Respect each other’s work boundaries

If you and your spouse do not usually work together, working from home could be a challenge. Talk about each other’s ideal work space. Some people like an immaculate and organized space, while others can thrive in an office that looks like it has been hit like a hurricane.

If you are not so organized, but your partner thrives in a tidy environment, respect that. Perhaps you could work together to create a welcoming home office environment so that both of you feel comfortable.

If you thrive with loud music and your spouse likes to work in silence, simply pop in some head phones. Although both of you might be different in the way that you work, you both have a common goal- to get some work done.

Remember that although you both might be home all day, you should remember that both of you have to be productive.

4) Give your spouse some space

Working from home together does not mean that you both have to be around each other 24/7. If one of you is highly sensitive or introverted, chances are you value alone time. Explain that to your spouse in a kind, loving way. If you both share a home office, and you happen to need some space from your spouse and kids, you can take breaks alone so you can recharge and unwind.

During these breaks you can stretch, go for a walk, watch something funny, read a book, workout or even do chores around the house. Some couples do not do well when they have been together all day long. If you and your partner are that couple, prevent arguments and irritation by simply ensuring that both of you get the alone time that you need.

5) End the day together

And when the day is over and the kids are in bed, it’s time to debrief. Talk about what you loved about the day and what did not go so well. But be careful not to be too nit picky so that it doesn't turn into a full blown argument.

Use this time as a bonding moment. You can pray together, listen to a podcast together, sit on the couch together or just be together in silence if you want.

Although there is a crisis going on in the outside world, there is no reason why there should be a crisis within your home as well. Turn to each other, cover each other in love. Make it your mission to make your marriage a lot stronger when this whole thing is over.

If you and your spouse are looking to really strengthen your friendship with one another, I offer marriage counseling in the Temecula/Murrieta area. Due to social distancing guidelines, I am now providing couples counseling online to California residents. Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to see if couples therapy in Murrieta is right for your marriage.