5 Benefits of CBT for Insomnia

It is estimated by the National Institutes of Health that about 30 percent of the general population have some struggles with sleep. That equals to millions of people who can't fall asleep or stay asleep every single day. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT for Insomnia or CBT-I) is one of the leading treatments for insomnia in the United States. If you're considering getting some help for your sleep struggles, here are some of the benefits of CBT for Insomnia.

If you want to find out more about CBT for Insomnia treatment in Murrieta, click here.

Short term treatment: No one wants to go through months or years of treatment before there is a solution to their sleep or insomnia problem. The great thing about CBT for Insomnia is that treatment is complete in as little as 6 to 8 weeks. That's it! No gimmicks, no injections, no magic tricks. If you actually follow the plan that is laid before you by your therapist or sleep specialist, you can find relief in less than 2 months. CBT for Insomnia is actually based off of years of research. It's been researched and/or used by Harvard University, The US Department of Veterans Affairs, The Mayo Clinic, Stanford Medicine, amongst others. If the plan is followed closely, you'll actually experience relief.

CBT for Insomnia could help you get off sleeping pills: No one likes to take sleeping pills. Typically, people take them because they think it's their only option. However, the problem with sleeping pills is that they don't actually cure insomnia. They might help you fall asleep for the night, but then the next night, you'll have to take yet another one. This happens night after night, until your body starts to become dependent on the sleep medication. So what starts off as a harmless pill to help you go to sleep, might actually end up in a near addiction. During your CBT-I treatment, your therapist will work closely with your prescribing physician so that you can be safely tapered off of sleep medications. 

Works on improving your core negative sleep thoughts: Anyone who has ever struggled with insomnia or any other sleep disorder, knows that night time is dreadful. Your mind begins to fill with thoughts such as "I hate my bedroom." "I cannot believe I'm just laying here tossing and turning." "If I don't get enough sleep tonight I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow." The truth is, these thoughts don't actually cause insomnia-like some people erroneously think- the thoughts are simply triggered by laying awake in discomfort for hours. 

When you work with a therapist who is trained in CBT for Insomnia, you'll learn how to challenge these negative sleep thoughts and replace them with more realistic, positive sleep thoughts. The principle is simple. Your thoughts directly affect your feelings, which then affect your behavior. So if you have negative thoughts about sleep, you become frustrated or sad at night, which then maintains your insomnia. But once you learn how to change those thoughts, your feelings about sleep become more positive, you look forward to night time, and your body becomes much more relaxed- enabling you to sleep better. 

Can be customized to meet your needs: CBT-I is a customized process. When you begin your treatment, your therapist will take a thorough assessment to figure out what your sleep patterns are, what your environment looks like, what your typical schedule is, as well as other emotional factors that might be affecting you. Based on your honest responses, you'll both work together to come up with a weekly plan of action to help you improve your insomnia. It's never a one size fits all approach.

Sleep plan is very easy to follow: After your initial assessment with your therapist, you'll work with him or her to come up with a weekly plan of action. Each day, you'll spend about 5 minutes working on the sleep plan. It's easy to follow- even for those with very busy schedules or chronic insomnia struggles.

If you have been struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep for 2 to 3 nights a week, for over a month, you might have insomnia. Click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call to see if CBT for Insomnia treatment in Murrieta is right for you.

Don't let insomnia take over your life. You can get relief. If you are too far away from the Murrieta or Temecula area, I also offer online sessions within California.

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Could CBT for Insomnia be the solution to your insomnia woes?

Insomnia is experienced by about 3 million people in the US alone. It often is accompanied by a bit of anxiety and frustration. Sleep becomes an ugly word and the bedroom is thought of as a dreaded place. Insomnia is especially difficult because a lack of sleep can lead to negative mood, reduced concentration during the day and even some grogginess. Sleep loss actually fatigues the connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. this simply means it has a negative effect in the actual brain structure. 

Traditional insomnia treatments often include the use of benzodiazepines or sleeping pills, which often come with side effects or a risk of dependency. Plus the truth is these pills don't actually cure insomnia- they merely treat the symptoms on a day to day basis. Click here to read my previous blog post Insomnia and sleep Insomnia chronicles: The scary truth about those sleeping pills you take

What if you're looking for an insomnia treatment without the use of pills? Enter Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). CBT-I is a 6 to 8-week treatment for people who struggle with insomnia. It's useful in both men and women- regardless of age or the amount of years you've struggled with sleep problems. 

It involves a weekly meeting with a therapist or sleep specialist who is trained in CBT-I to discuss a tailored treatment plan for you. Understand that if you do not follow through with your sleep plan, CBT-I will not work for you. But if you collaborate with your therapist and follow through each day, over the course of as little as 6 weeks, you will see a drastic improvement in your sleeping patterns. All the research actually shows that CBT-I is more effective than sleeping pills. Read more about CBT for Insomnia here.

CBT-I has been tagged as the most effective treatment for any adult mental health problem. It's been sanctioned by: 

• The Mayo Clinic

• Stanford Health Care

• Harvard Health

• The Veterans Health Administration 

CBT for insomnia involves an initial assessment by a therapist or sleep specialist. During this assessment we'll go over all the details of your insomnia, and we will also rule out causes of your insomnia such as stress, trauma, anxiety, depression, among many other factors.

You'll also meet with your therapist 5 more times. The first 3 sessions are weekly, and the last 2 are biweekly. If you need additional sessions or a booster after a few months, that could also be arranged.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist who provides counseling and therapy to women with anxiety, I also provide insomnia treatment in Murrieta using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). For women within California who are too far away from the Murrieta, Temecula or Menifee, I provide insomnia treatment online.

CBT for Insomnia (or CBT-I) is a 6 to 8 week treatment for people who struggle with insomnia. It's the first line insomnia treatment in the USA and it is highly recommended by sleep researchers and sleep experts. Click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call so that insomnia can be a thing of the past.

Find out how CBT for insomnia can help you sleep again in as little as 5 sessions.

ready to finally sleep?

Find out the 5 insomnia myths that are keeping you awake- and how YOU can FINALLY sleep!

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Insomnia and sleep chronicles: The scary truth about those sleeping pills you take

Insomnia sucks. Something as simple as sleep becomes elusive. You do everything you can to get some sleep, but nothing works. So you head over to your primary care physician and he prescribes you a sleeping pill. You take it one day and it seems to work. So you begin to pop a sleeping pill every night. One year later, it is part of your routine. You put your pajamas on, get some water, swallow your pill and drift off to sleep. However, there are some scary facts about sleeping pills you don't know.

1) They are not tested for long term use: When your doctor or physician writes that prescription for Ambien or Lunesta, his expectation is that you only take it as needed. As needed means taking it every once in a while- not every day or twice a day. Truth is that these sleeping pills haven't actually been tested for every day use. So who really knows the long term side effects of these seemingly harmless pills that you're popping each day? Pretty scary.

2) You might be overdosing yourself: Let's get sciencey (I know it's not a real word). Well, the half life of a substance, is the amount of time it takes for half the amount of that substance to be metabolized or eliminated from your body. With sleep medications, many of them remain in your system when you take your next dose. So for example, the half life of Ativan and Xanax is 12 hours. So it means it takes 12 hours for half the dose to be eliminated in your body. It means that if you take 1 Xanax at 7pm, by 7am the next morning, half of the dose is still swimming around in your system. So if you take another Xanax shortly after, you might have more of the dose than you need. When you take it day after day, you're layering the medication in your system.

3) Sleep medications can be more dangerous for women and the elderly: For some strange reason, these sleeping medications metabolize (get eliminated) slower at night, in women, and in the elderly. So as a woman, when you take sleep medications at night, it gets absorbed a lot slower than a man who took one during the day. Very few people actually take sleep medications during the day, so think about it. In the elderly there is also a greater risk for slip and falls due to the impaired next day coordination these sleeping pills could cause. 

4) There is a risk of dependency:  Physicians prescribe sleep medications as needed for a reason. When these pills are used over a long period of time, your body actually begins to depend on it. This means after a while, you don't get great quality sleep if you haven't taken your sleeping pill that night.

5) Sleeping pills don't cure insomnia:  What's the point of taking sleeping pills night after night if your insomnia is not going to go away? Many people take medication with the hope that the root cause of their sleep disorder will be solved. But in the case os insomnia medication, your insomnia doesn't get cured. What you're doing is essentially putting a small bandage on a big problem.

So before you rush to your physician for a magic pill, remember that sleeping pills aren't necessarily a cure all. 

 As a licensed marriage and family therapist who provides counseling and therapy to women with anxiety, I also provide insomnia treatment in Murrieta for women with insomnia using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I).  Find out more about CBT-I in this other blog post- Could CBT for Insomnia be the solution to your insomnia woes?

70-80 percent of individuals who undergo CBT-I treatment for insomnia experience vast improvement in their sleep. For women within California who are too far away from the Murrieta, Temecula or Menifee areas, I provide CBT for insomnia treatment online. CBT-I is a 5 to 8 week treatment for people who struggle with insomnia. It's the first line insomnia treatment in the USA and it is highly recommended by sleep researchers and experts. 

Click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call so that insomnia can be a thing of the past.

Remember, if you are within California, but you are not in the Murrieta/Temecula area, I also provide CBT for insomnia treatment online.

ready to FINALLY sleep?

Find out the 5 myths about insomnia that keep you awake- and how YOU can FINALLY sleep!

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5 habits that keep your insomnia going strong

Your least favorite time of the day is night time. While the world is fast asleep, you spend your time tossing and turning. Perhaps you just lay in bed and try to count sheep, but after doing this for months- or maybe even years- it's aggravating.

Or perhaps you actually fall asleep like a baby each night, but the moment you wake up to sip some water or go to the bathroom, you lose the urge to sleep. You've done several Google searches to help you curb your insomnia, but nothing has worked. You've tried downloading every app, but it only works for a short while.

What if I told you that you that your habits could be making your sleep disorder worse? Perhaps your insomnia is actually caused by some of your habits. Well today is your lucky day. Here are 5 habits you need to stop to restore your sleep and improve your insomnia.

1) Taking your electronics with you to bed: These days our gadgets are almost an extension of us. We take our phones with us to the gym, to the store, to the bedroom and even to the bathroom (you know you do this). However these laptops, phones and tablets that are so dear to us emit blue light. The blue light actually sends a signal to your brain and tells it to reduce its production of melatonin. Melatonin is the hormone that helps you maintain your sleep cycle. With this reduced production of melatonin, your sleep cycle is off and your body will think it needs to sleep less.

The solution: To make your life easier, just turn off your electronics about 1 hour before bedtime. If you feel like you absolutely can't do it, just keep them out of arm's reach.

2) Drinking coffee or caffeine all day long: Most people who struggle with sleep problems or insomnia drink quite a lot of coffee or other caffeinated beverages to help manage the grogginess and sour mood they experience in the morning. However, caffeine has a half life of approximately 5 hours. This means it takes 5 hours for your body to completely get rid of half the amount of caffeine you drank. So if you're drinking more than 1 cup of coffee a day, you're pretty much layering the effects of caffeine in your system.

The solution: To get good quality sleep, limit caffeine intake to no more than 1 or 2 cups in the morning. After noon, stay away from coffee, energy drinks and any other stimulant. This will give your body time to get rid of it completely before night time.

3) Staying in bed when you can't sleep: Many people with insomnia remain in bed for hours when they can't sleep. They'll toss and turn for hours. What this does is it sends a message to your brain that the bedroom is a place of anguish. Your bedroom should really be your vacation spot. When you walk in, you should think "I cannot wait to lay on my comfy bed." Not, "Ugh! My awful bedroom again." When you have negative thoughts about your bedroom, it'll sour your feelings and ruin your sleep pattern.

The solution: If you can't sleep after 30 minutes of laying in bed, get up. Go over to another room, do something relaxing for 30 minutes, then return to bed. Whatever you do, DO NOT pick up any electronics. Remember that blue light is exposure is bad for melatonin production.

4) Working in your room: I'm very guilty of this. I love my room so much that it's my favorite place to think and write. No I'm not writing this post from my bed. When it comes to sleep, it's important to trick your brain. The ideal scenario is to work somewhere else, wind down an hour before bed, then come into your room about 30 minutes before bed time. So the brain automatically knows that it should begin to shut down once you step into the bedroom. But when you work and use your laptop while in your bed, your brain doesn't know that it should shut down. The bedroom becomes a trigger for brain activity, rather than brain rest. You get it?

The solution: Use your bedroom for relaxing activities only. Don't do any writing, intense TV watching, talking on the phone, arguing, or anything upsetting in your bedroom. Use it as your sanctuary.

5) Sleeping in on the weekends: Many people make up for lost sleep over the weekend. They'll go to bed extra late, then get up at noon. The problem is if you sleep in 2 days in a row, that's enough to disrupt your sleep pattern. Your body needs to know when to produce adenosine (the hormone that's responsible for your wake up cycle), and when to start producing melatonin (the sleep hormone). If you aren't being exposed to sunlight, your body won't know to keep you awake, then by Monday you'll end up groggy when you should be alert.

The solution: Don't sleep in for more than an hour on the weekends. If you typically get up at 6am during the week, you should be up and out of bed by 7am. This helps your body maintain a regular sleep-wake pattern.

And if you would like to learn about some other habits to help you sleep, here is a list of habits to help you fall asleep and stay asleep.

Read more about how your thoughts could also affect insomnia and sleep here.

Those are your first few steps in beginning to retrain your brain so that your insomnia can be a thing of the past. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist who provides counseling and therapy to women with anxiety. I also provide insomnia treatment in Murrieta using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). For women within California who are too far away from the Murrieta, Temecula or Menifee areas, I provide insomnia treatment online.

CBT-I is a 5 to 8 week treatment for people who struggle with insomnia. It's the first line insomnia treatment in the USA and it is highly recommended by sleep researchers and experts. Click here to schedule your free 15 minute consultation call so that insomnia can be a thing of the past.

ready to finally sleep?

Find out the 5 myths about insomnia that are keeping you awake- and how YOU can FINALLY sleep!

get your free download now

5 Myths about anger that are keeping you angry

In my anger management class in Murrieta, I teach people how to become more in tune with their emotions, how to express themselves in an assertive way, and to learn how to communicate better with the people around them. I've noticed a common thread among clients who take my anger management class in Murrieta. They often believe some myths about anger. Here are the top 5 myths about anger that I'd like to dispel:

Anger is genetic

How many times have you heard someone say "I'm Italian, so I have a big personality!" or "I'm from New York, so I scream when I talk." Or my favorite: "I'm Nigerian so that's just how I behave." We sometimes falsely believe that we should be angry because our parents were angry people or people from our culture or our town are angry. Well, I'm happy to let you know that anger is in fact NOT genetic. Your angry father did not pass his anger gene down to you like he passed down his brown eyes.

An angry expression of emotions is actually a learned behavior. So when you were growing up, perhaps your dad would yell whenever he was irritated or your mom would hit you whenever you broke the rules. Watching them express themselves in this way shapes you to believe that this is the only way to express frustration.

What this means is that the angry expression of emotions can actually be unlearned. Just like you were taught to scream at people, throw things or punch walls, you can also be taught to speak assertively, communicate clearly and to express yourself in a different way. Isn't that nice?

Anger leads to aggression

Many people actually believe that anger naturally leads to aggression. They run away from the emotions because they fear that it will lead to hitting, getting into fights or doing something they will regret later. To be clear, aggression is any behavior with the intention of controlling the other person. So if you refuse to listen to other people's point of view, if you constantly talk over others and try to get your way all the time, you're acting aggressively. Few people will actually admit that they are aggressive.

Anger doesn't automatically lead to aggression. You are actually in control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Now when people are in the heat of anger, they might feel like they have no control over themselves. This is untrue. The problem is you might not have the necessary tools to know what to do when your anger is reaching its peak. That's why you might feel out of control. But once you've learned specific tools to manage your anger (HINT: Which I teach in my anger management class), you'll find that your level of aggression becomes less and less.

Angry people always get their way 

Some people actually use anger as a form of manipulation. They believe that if they lash out or yell, their partners or loved ones will have no choice but to comply. Well, I have to say that it works sometimes. Their children, spouses and friends become so afraid of them, that they just do whatever they want to avoid an argument.

However, this can only work for so long. After a while, children grow up and become adults with boundaries. They'll move out of your house and decide to cut you out of their lives. Spouses will begin to stand up for themselves and you'll realize that you cannot always get your way. The only thing anger does is it creates separation between you and the people you love.

Anger is bad

Many clients have come in to my anger management group with their heads hanging low. They have been told or they believe that people who experience anger are bad. Anger is simply an emotion. And I believe it's neutral. Uncontrolled anger on the other hand, can lead you into a hot mess. When you are angry, it's important to dig in and figure out why exactly you are angry. In my group, I teach my clients that anger is simply a secondary emotion. This means it's just a symptom of something else going on. So when someone yells at you in public, you probably feel embarrassed or disrespected, which then leads to anger. When your child isn't listening to you, you might feel frustrated, which leads to anger. When your partner breaks up with you, you feel hurt, which leads to anger. 

Do you get it? Your anger is like the check engine light of your car. The light is simply a warning sign. The light is neutral. What you need to do is open up the hood of your car. If you cover up the light or ignore it, the problem will persist, get worse and then your car will be in worse shape. 

You should get anger out by hitting

Often times people say to me, "I'll just go hit the punching bags when I'm angry." While this might be a great work out, hitting something (or someone) when you're angry doesn't resolve anything. All it teaches you is how to be a great hitter. In the moment it feels great, because it's a good way to distract yourself from everything going on in your head, but punching something when you're angry doesn't resolve your relationship or soothe your hurt feelings. 

Ready to work on your anger issues so that your anger is no longer in control of you? Great! Click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call with me to see if my anger management group in Murrieta is right for you. You can also call me at 951-905-3181. Make anger a thing of the past. It's all up to you.

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How to set goals you can actually accomplish in 2019

Happy New Year! I can't believe it's already 2019. It seems as if last year rolled by too fast. Now, if you're like most people, you probably have great dreams for this year. You want your life to be filled with joy, you want your family to be healthy, and you want to accomplish some great goals. The problem is you have a bad habit of setting New Year's resolutions and then forgetting all about them by February.

Remember that unused gym membership from 2018? Remember the time when you said you were going to write a book but you didn't? Well, today is your lucky day because I'm going to give you 6 tips to increase your chances of actually following through with your goal.

1) Make your goals SMART

We all set life goals, but the problem is that some of us have goals that are way too vague. 'Make more money,' 'Lose weight,' 'Be happier,' all sound like great goals on the surface, but they are way too broad. I like to break my goals up in a SMART way. Here are the steps:

Make sure your goal is Specific: Make sure your goal isn't too vague. You brain can't compute anything that's too vague and your heart won't become emotionally tied to a vague goal. If you are emotionally attached to your goal, you'll be more motivated to follow through. So, you could say something like "I want to make $1,000 more in January 2019." That's as specific as it gets. 

Make it Measurable: Quantify your goals. Make sure each goal either has a completion date or some type of number attached to it. So your money goal of making $1,000 in January 2019 is measurable. We know exactly how much money you're trying to make and we know the deadline for completing the goal. That way you can break it down further each week to know what targets you should be hitting to stay on track.

Make sure it's Achievable: It's always great to reach for the sky, but how many of us have actually ever touched the sky?  If your goal is unattainable, it has the opposite result. You'll get discouraged and stop trying to pursue it. If your goal is to make $1000 in January 2019 but you haven't held a job in the past 5 years, chances are you might not be able to achieve it. So set something attainable, then set another goal as soon as you reach that one. So if you haven't had a job in 5 years, perhaps your goal could be to make $100 extra in January 2019. After you've met that goal, set a goal to make $200. Be systematic.

Make sure it's Reasonable: Also pay attention to your abilities, the level of support you have in your life, and your resources. If your goal is to travel to 5 countries this year but you know that you work a regular 9 to 5 job and you don't have any time off, that's pretty unreasonable. Even though it's great to think outside the box, an unreasonable goal will discourage you. And a discouraged person most likely won't be motivated to complete a goal.

Make it Time Limited: Add a completion date to your goal. An open ended goal will kill your ambition and you'll lose steam fast. But when you know you're going to be working toward a goal for a limited amount of time, it's easier to maintain focus. It's helpful to set 3 month and 6 month goals to begin with. Then as you get good at maintaining your focus, you can stretch those goals into 1-year, 2-year and 3-year goals.

2) Get an accountability partner: When you have someone positive cheering you on, you are more likely to work tirelessly toward your goal because you know they're going to ask you about it. No one wants to deal with the embarrassment of letting their accountability partner down. Make sure you only pick someone who is positive and encouraging. A Debbie Downer will kill your mojo.

3) Post your goals somewhere visible: I like the added accountability of posting my goals on a mirror, a door, in my car or somewhere I cannot ignore it. Why? Because if you can't see your goals, you can easily ignore them. Out of sight, out of mind. But when you are greeted by your goals every single day, you'll be more motived to actually work towards them.

4) Plan out small steps towards your big goal: A 5 year goal can be very daunting. So after writing the long term goal, break it down further. If you want to accomplish something big like buying a house in 5 years, what would you need to do in 3 years to help you reach the goal? Break it down further. What would you need to do in 1 year to reach your goal? Break it down further! What would you need to do in 6 months to reach your goal? Even further. What would you need to do in 3 months, and then weekly to reach your goal?

5) Schedule everything: Once you've broken down your goal into smaller steps, it's time to schedule it out on your planner or phone. I love Google Calendar. It's free and it can also send you reminders. Spend 1 day planning out your tasks and setting them automatically on your phone. That way when the alert pops up, you remember to get right on it.

6) Give yourself a reward: Goal setting is difficult business. Set a benchmark for yourself and agree to give yourself a reward every time you hit that benchmark. So for example, if your goal is to make $1000 more in January, you can buy yourself a treat every time you make $250. If your goal is to buy a house, you can do something special every 3 months as you're on your way to rocking your goal.

There you have it- 6 easy ways to actually accomplish your goals this year. And if anxiety or insomnia are keeping you from accomplishing your goals, I'd love to chat with you for 15 minutes to see if I might be a good fit for you. I help anxious women, insomniacs and engaged couples in the Temecula/Murrieta feel calmer, sleep better and lay a solid foundation for their future. Click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call.