An introvert's COVID-19 survival tips for extroverts

Social distancing is a new concept for most people. But if you are an introvert, chances are you have probably been practicing a watered down version of social distancing for most of your life.

Social distancing can be exceptionally problematic for extroverts. You crave in person connections with others. You love outdoor activities that involve face to face time with friends. Maybe you’re even a hugger who thrives off of physical connections with people. Perhaps you miss some of your hobbies and you just want things to go back to normal.

You’re going stir crazy and you don’t know what to do.

Never fear. Here are some tips for surviving social distancing from a self proclaimed ‘Introvert’s introvert.’

1) Adjust your mindset

Your outcome is really dependent on the way you view this situation. Don’t look at COVID-19 and social distancing as the end of fun. Rather, use it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself, connect with people around you (virtually), enjoy nature and to take a small step back.

Because you don’t have the luxury of seeing people in person, doesn't mean that you are completely disconnected from the world. So get creative.

You can schedule daily zoom or Google hangouts with friends. You can pick up the phone and call loved ones. Being faraway does not cut you off from others.

2) Get a workout in

Being home for the majority of the day is a great opportunity for you to get in shape. Even though you might not be able to go to the gym like you’re used to, many gyms are actually offering online group classes. Check in with your local gym to see if they are doing so.

If your gym doesn't have that service, you can actually start a virtual exercise group of your own. Just gather a few of your buddies online, and workout to the same routine. Youtube has thousands of workout videos ranging from dance, yoga, stretch, pilates to strength training.

If Youtube isn’t your thing, maybe you can find a routine that works for you and encourage your friends to workout alongside you virtually.

You get to enjoy time with your friends while sweating the stress away.

Plus your body produces endorphins (happy hormones) when you work out. It’s a win win.

3) Don’t forget to check in with your friends

Introverts are known for having deep, personal discussions with their small groups of friends. Here is your opportunity to truly be there for your loved ones. Social distancing is not the same thing as being a social recluse. Luckily for you, you have technology at your disposal and you can use it to your advantage. Because lots of people are working from home, some of your friends will be bored and more than happy to take your call.

Bored people typically enjoy being checked up on.

Now is the time to call friends that you have lost touch with or friends you wouldn't normally check in with. Embrace you inner introvert and really connect beneath the surface. Now you get to practice this skill.

At first it might seem awkward to talk about such important things, but you’ll really get to connect with others at a deep level.

You still have FaceTime and video chat platforms. That way you get to see their faces as you engage with them.

4) Take a nap if you can

Well this isn’t just for extroverts. Napping isn’t particularly an introverted trait. It just feels nice for all humans. Everyone can benefit from nap time. Naps not only rejuvenate you, but they also help pass the time away.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed in the middle of the day, set a 30 minute timer and lay down. If you have kids, you can institute family nap time. At first your kids will think you’re weird, but they might eventually get into it.

You will wake up feeling so refreshed and ready to complete your tasks.

5) Explore a new hobby

Many introverts engage in activities that keep them occupied all day. Think back to when you were a child. What did you enjoy doing? Now is the time to explore your rich inner world. Do you like to read? Do you like to draw, color, paint, knit, crochet, sing or dance?

If you like math, there are so many brain games out there to keep your mind focused. If you’ve always dreamed of writing a short story, here is your chance. Because your world might have slowed down a bit, it opens up the creative part of your brain.

Maybe you can even start virtual book club or a virtual Bible study with friends. Social distancing doesn’t necessarily mean boredom and gloom.

And here’s my personal favorite. Try downloading the calm app and practice mindfulness skills. It’ll really help you with some of the anxiety and angst you feel.

Here is your challenge. Write out 5 enjoyable activities and commit to participating in 1 or 2 a week. You will discover that there is so much fun to be had.

6) Spend intentional time with your family

Many introverts are very intentional about their relationships with their loved ones. While introverts tend to keep their friend circle small, they go really deep. Because they spend a lot of time noticing their environment, they tend to notice things about their loved ones that extroverts might miss.

Carve time each day to really connect with the people you live with. Ask them how social distancing is going for them. Talk about non corona related things. Talk about their hopes and dreams, talk about your relationship with them and how you can really deepen it.

Ask them how you both can support one another during this pandemic. When you turn toward each other, life feels so much better.

If you have a spouse, do regular relationship check ins in which you both discuss what has been going great and things you’d like to tweak within the home.

If you have kids, also have a daily check in with them to ensure that things are going well.

Embrace your inner child. Play board games, video games, engage in imaginary play and really bond with your kids. I bet you both will enjoy it. You will never get this time back.

7) Get out of the house (if you can)

Social distancing does not mean that you have to be cooped up at home 24/7. You can sit in your front yard or backyard and take in the sights and sounds of nature. One of my favorite mindfulness activities is using my 5 senses to enjoy nature.

You can sit outside and take in the smell around you, the feeling of the breeze on your skin, the sight of the leaves swaying in the wind, the fluttering of birds as they enjoy their day, the beautiful colors of the sky, trees and everything around you.

Take a moment to truly enjoy the beauty that is all around you.

You can take a walk around the block or find a new hiking trail. Your body and your mind will thank you for this.

If you find that you are struggling with anxiety, insomnia or your marriage feels challenged due to COVID-19, I provide online therapy services to individuals throughout California. Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call so that anxiety can be a thing of the past.

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Top 6 reasons why you haven't met with a therapist in Murrieta CA

You've known for a while that something is off. Your mind is swirling with worry all the time, you feel sad when you should be happy, and sometimes, you seem to cry for no reason at all. You know you're a smart, competent woman, but sometimes you just doubt yourself. You wonder if you'll be like this for the rest of your life. It's bringing you agony and you just can't stand it.

You've heard some of your friends talk about therapy. It has crossed your mind to maybe call someone, but you're not sure if a therapist will be able to help you. After all, you're not 'Crazy,' so why would you want to call someone?

Well, here are some of the possible reasons why you probably haven't picked up the phone to schedule your first appointment.

1) You're too scared to meet with a psychotherapist

Most people are terrified when they first call or email me for counseling in my Murrieta/Temecula office. It's actually quite normal. Think about it- you've struggled with this huge problem for weeks, months, or even years and it's terrifying to bare your soul to someone you barely know. Well, one of the reasons why therapy could work so well for you is that your therapist is a neutral third party who is trained to identify behavioral and relational patterns. I personally don't judge you when you walk through my doors.

My job is to ask the right questions so we can figure out-together- how to get you out of the rut you feel. If I were to criticize you or judge you it'll actually get in the way of me doing great work. And if this makes you feel better, counseling is quite common in California.

2) You think a therapist might label you as crazy 

I've heard this one before. "I just want you to know that I'm not crazy." Well, when a potential client calls me, I don't for a second label her as crazy. The way I see it, people call a therapist when they are tired of feeling stuck. It's as simple as that.

Never would you hear me use degrading or insulting words. And if your therapist ever addresses you in a demeaning or disrespectful way-please run fast in the other direction. You don't deserve such horrible treatment.

Let's set the record straight. Therapy isn't for "Crazy people." Therapy is a great way to treat mental health symptoms, get some clarity and move closer to the goals you have set with your therapist. Therapy can be a powerful tool because your therapist is well trained and can give unbiased guidance. If you were "Crazy," a therapist wouldn't be able to help you anyway. 

3) You don't want your friends or family to know that you're talking to a therapist 

The great thing about therapy is that it is actually confidential. So whether you see a Temecula therapist, a San Diego therapist, you go for counseling in Murrieta, or you go for counseling in Los Angeles or Riverside, psychotherapy is still confidential.

This means that we keep whatever you say as a secret. Just call me Murrieta's best keep secret. The only issues we must report by law are child abuse, elder abuse, dependent adult abuse, as well as if you are a danger to yourself or somebody else. And of course, these laws are put in place because we protect people who cannot otherwise protect themselves.

I'd rather you get mad at me, and I ensure you're safe, than let you harm yourself. So your family and friends will not find out that you are in therapy- unless you want to tell them. I pride myself as being the best kept counseling secret in the Murrieta/Temecula area.

4) You don't know if you'll be able to trust a therapist

Talking to someone you've just met is really difficult. Trust me, I know. But the great thing about therapy is that because there is no judgement, your therapist is able to see things clearly. When you are in the eye of the storm, all you see is debris and chaos. And usually, you- the client are in the eye of the storm.

But your therapist sits right outside of the storm where he or she can see everything else. Of course at first it will all feel awkward when you come into session, but with time-if the therapist is a great fit for you- you'll feel more comfortable.

This is why I offer all new clients a free 15 minute consultation call so we can both decide if we will work well together. I also only see a very limited number of clients so I can provide each client with individualized, targeted service.  You're not a number.

You're a person with feelings, challenges and goals. And my job is to help you overcome those difficulties. And then what happens if you meet with a therapist and you absolutely can't stand her? Well, you just let her know that you're not a good fit and you find someone else if you so wish. You are under no obligation to keep on working with a therapist you don't connect with or trust.

Find out more about ways that a therapist can help you in this post- How can a therapist help you?

5) You don't have time to see a therapist or counselor

Majority of my clients come in to see me once a week, and then when things get better, we go down to every other week, and sometimes, even once a month. It all just depends on their individualized needs.

But what happens when you can't seem to fit 1 hour a week into your schedule? Well, then you discuss it with your therapist ahead of time so that you both can work on a mutually agreeable solution.

Some people choose to do online therapy. The beauty of online therapy is that you can pick any counselor in California.

Online counseling in California is also convenient. It's therapy from the comfort of your own home or office. The benefit is that you still get to work on your goals, while in the comfort of your home. You also avoid driving time. It's definitely something to think about. I wrote more about online therapy in this blog post- The benefits of online therapy

6) You don't have the money 

Sometimes people do not even search for a therapist. They assume that they cannot afford one. Some therapists are contracted with specific insurance companies. It means that they signed a contract with that company so they can be reimbursed for services provided.

Note that for an insurance company to cover your sessions, you will have to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder. Same thing as if you were going to see a physician. He or she will have to give you a diagnosis in order to be reimbursed.

Sometimes you will be responsible for a co-pay or you'll have to meet a certain deductible. It all depends on what insurance plan you have. You can call your insurance company to verify how much it would cost and how many sessions they are willing to cover. 

Sometimes therapists will not bill your insurance company directly, but they will charge you a fee up front before each session. Therapists' fees range so don't assume that you can't afford one. The key is to keep searching for the right fit.

And in some cases, if you have a PPO insurance plan, you might be able to get reimbursed if you see a therapist who doesn't have a contract with your specific insurance company.

Of course, always ask your insurance company first to verify your benefits. Usually, you'll pay the therapist's fee upfront, then the therapist will give you a receipt called a super bill. After you submit the super bill to the insurance company, they will reimburse you according to their specified rate.

These are the top 6 reasons why many people do not reach out for counseling in Murrieta or counseling in Temecula.

If you are a woman seeking a Black therapist in Murrieta for anxiety, insomnia or marriage counseling in my Murrieta office and online, click here to schedule a FREE 15 minute consultation call .